


Lost

by CLBurr03



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bad Boy Park Jimin, Bottom Park Jimin, But Park Jimin is also a jerk, Depressed Park Jimin, Drug Abuse, Eventual Smut, Hurt Park Jimin, Jealous Jeon Jungkook, Jealous Min Yoongi | Suga, Jeon Jungkook is Whipped, Jimin is everyones favorite, M/M, Min yoongi is a little bit of a jerk, Obsessive Min Yoongi, One-Sided Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin, Park Jimin Is Bad at Feelings, Park Jimin had abusive past, Park Jimin is a little shit... sometimes, Park Jimin-centric, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Protective Jeon Jungkook, Protective Kim Taehyung | V, Rape, Self-destructive park jimin, Sexual Abuse, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Jikook, Top Jeon Jungkook, jikook - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2018-12-05 22:31:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 70,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11587500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CLBurr03/pseuds/CLBurr03
Summary: Park Jimin had thought he had finally escaped his past. When his world starts spiraling out of control, he finds himself right back where he started. Will someone be there to pick up the pieces or will he be lost.





	1. Jeon Jungkook

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to reach out to me on tumblr with any questions!
> 
> CLburr03

Jeon Jungkook wasn’t sure when exactly he had fallen in love with Park Jimin.

But as he stood in the practice room of the dance studio; he couldn’t help smiling to himself, as he watched Jimin try to help Yoongi and Jin with their dance moves from Blood Sweat and Tears. 

Jimin has never been impatient. He doesn’t laugh when the other members can’t get the choreography right. He only smiles and helps corrects their mistakes when asked.

Jimin is ever attentive, quietly listening and will offer gentle advise. Jungkook has observed Jimin putting others before himself on many occasions; and this is one of the many things he loves about Jimin. 

Jungkook can’t help but stare as Jimin rolls his hips to the music, his sweaty silver hair gently falling in his face. They’ve been practicing for two hours now, and still he agrees to work with Yoongi and Jin.

Suddenly he feels a sharp jab in his side.

“You’re staring…again.” Jungkook can feel his face burn as he meets Namjoon’s knowing gaze. Ah the ever-observant leader of BTS. He easily picked up on Jungkook’s creepy stares, hidden smiles, and flushed cheeks whenever Jimin was around.

It was always at dance practice when he would find his mind wandering. Today especially since Jimin had decided to wear shorts, so Jungkook could appreciate his muscular thighs. Jungkook often wondered what it would be like to have the older boy underneath him, where he would be free to run his hands across those rippling muscles. And feel Jimin’s skin burn beneath his touch. Jimin may be the smallest of the members, petite with lean muscles, but he was a powerhouse. Watching him dance made Jungkook’s legs weak. 

Jimin was easily his favorite Hyung, but Jungkook knew he wasn’t alone, Jimin was everyone’s favorite. It had gotten to the point whenever they arrived at a new hotel during their tours they would play rock, paper, scissors to see who would room with Jimin. It had started off as a joke, because Jimin was the easiest to room with, but quickly became tradition. Jimin would always roll his eyes and his cheeks would turn pink, as he asked them not to make a big deal about it. It was the cutest thing Jungkook had ever seen.

Jungkook is unfortunately left out of this game because he is Jimin’s roommate when they are home at the dorm, so the other members wanted to room with him while they were away. And Jungkook had to admit Jimin is the best roommate. He is never grumpy in the morning, always keeps the room and adjacent bathroom clean. And he wakes him up gently if the alarm doesn’t work, well unless it was the fifth time he has had to wake Jungkook up. Then he would jump on him and playfully try to smother him with his own pillow. Jungkook had lost count of how many times he would pretend to still be asleep just so the older boy would pounce on him.

_Jimin is everyone’s favorite._ Jungkook thinks to himself, as he watches Yoongi wrap his arm around Jimin’s shoulders pulling him close while he shows him something on his phone.

“Ah Hyung! Leave Jin-Hyung alone, he’s trying.” Jimin giggles, then pouts as he swats a laughing Hoseok away from a sweaty defeated Jin. 

As everyone grabs their belongings to head back to the dorm, Jungkook dares one more glance at Namjoon, who just shakes his head with a smirk.

“Stop it Hyung.” Jungkook mumbles as he pushes past him to reach the fresh air outside.

Back at the dorm everyone disappears in their rooms to shower and get ready for bed.

Jungkook lays sprawled out on his bed playing on his phone while he waits for Jimin to finish with his shower. After an intense match of rock, paper, scissors Jimin had gotten to shower first. 

The door to the bathroom finally opens, Jimin is known for taking long showers, and Jungkook just wants to get to bed. “Jimin-Hyung! Take long enough?”

Jungkook pries his eyes away from his phone when he doesn’t get an answer. His breath hitches in his throat.

Jimin is standing in the doorway of the bathroom, only wearing basketball shorts, hanging low on his waist. Chest bare, with his silver hair still dripping wet. A towel hanging over his right shoulder, as if he had meant to dry to his hair but forgot. Jimin’s eyes are glued to his phone as he walks over and sits on the edge of his bed.

Jungkook sighs as he stands up, “Your hair is still dripping wet.”

He grabs the towel from Jimin’s shoulder and climbs on the bed, kneeling behind him. Jungkook glances down at Jimin’s small frame, _he’s been looking very thin these days._

Everyone has been noticing, the other members, the staff, even fans. Jimin had to have lost twenty pounds already, and he hadn’t been over weight to begin with. He is barely eating, and if he isn’t practicing with the rest of them or alone at the dance studio, he is down the hall at the gym working out.

Jungkook starts towel drying Jimin’s hair, who only hums a ‘thank you’ as he scrolls through his phone distractedly. Jungkook watches as a water droplet slides down Jimin’s spine, he chews the inside of his lip as he wonders idly what it would be like to catch the droplet with his tongue. He shakes his head trying to not think about that right this very second.

He finally takes the time to peek over Jimin’s shoulder to see what he is intently looking at. Jungkook frowns when he realizes Jimin is on twitter scrolling through comments about himself.  
**‘Jimin is too skinny now!’**  
**‘Where is the squishy faced jimin?’**  
**‘Where are the abs?’**  
**‘There better be abs for the Wings Tour!’**

Jungkook tosses the towel to the side and hops off the bed. He groans and grabs Jimin’s phone, and flings it onto his own bed across the room. He kneels in front of Jimin placing his hands on his knees so he doesn’t get up right away, as Jimin’s eyes widen in shock.

“Really Jungkook!” Jimin stares at him for a second before shaking his head.

“…Hyung, why do you look at all the crap? Don’t let yourself get stressed out about all that. It doesn’t matter what people say… you’re perfect Jiminie…” Jungkook trails off as he looks up at Jimin.

Jungkook watches as Jimin’s lips part ever so slightly, as if he has something he wants to say and it’s on the tip of his tongue, but he stays silent. An unreadable expression crosses his face for a mere moment. But then he seems to collect himself, and smiles that heart stopping smile of his. Which makes Jungkook blush ever so slightly.

“No one’s perfect…” Jimin smirks as he playfully pushes against Jungkook’s shoulders so he falls back a little onto his ass. “Now go to bed… we need be up early tomorrow, we’re leaving for the tour and you’re still not done packing.” Jimin gets up, and grabs his phone off Jungkook’s bed and puts it on the charger before flopping onto his own. He lays on his back with one arm tucked underneath his head.

Jungkook watches him for a moment before getting up, “Hyung?”

“Hmph?” Jimin grunts in reply.

“Can I lay with you for a while?... you know the other Hyung’s don’t let me room with you on tour,” he mumbles.

Jimin shrugs a shoulder and mumbles, “if you want to.” Jungkook can’t help noticing the tone in Jimin’s voice. As if he really wanted to say, ‘not sure why you would want to’.

Jungkook reaches over and turns the light off before climbing into Jimin’s bed. This wasn’t new for them. They would often lay on each other’s bed and talk, or watch a movie until one of them fell asleep.

Jungkook lays on his side facing Jimin, he moves close enough so their legs are touching, tangled in each other and that’s all. He closes his eyes and inhales. Taking a moment to enjoy the smell of Jimin’s shampoo, which has a hint of jasmine and mint. That’s when he realizes he hasn’t showered, but he could honestly careless. He knows Jimin won’t mind either.

He also knows he’ll fall asleep here, and he’s okay with that. And he knows Jimin is okay with that too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First fanfic for this fandom so be gentle haha  
> Hope to update soon!


	2. December

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part of Jimin's past is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who enjoyed the first chapter! :)  
> I appreciate the kudos and comments.  
> Will be using italics for the flashbacks.
> 
> Yes the first chapter was cute, going to be slowly delving in Jimin's past.
> 
> Enjoy! <3<3

**December 2003, 8 years old**

_Jimin stood in front of his mother as she fussed over the small, adorable, child-size bowtie around his neck._

_“Mommy these pants are itchy!” He starts scratching at the black wool tux pants as his mother adjusts his suspenders against the white dress shirt._

_“I know honey, but you look adorable!” Mrs. Park practically squeals as she steps back to admire her work. She runs her fingers through Jimin’s hair, trying to keep it out of his face. “I’m so excited to see you perform tonight.”_

_Jimin had been attending dance class for a little over a year now, and this was the first time he was able to perform in the Christmas showcase with the rest of his class._

_His mother sighs as he starts moving the suspenders off his shoulders. “Jimin, those have to stay on. All the boys have to wear them, you have to match.” Jimin pouts as his mother puts the suspenders back in place for the second time. She points a finger at him playfully when the phone starts to ring, “don’t move.”_

_Mrs. Park disappears into the kitchen to answer the phone. Jimin starts playing with his bowtie as he listens to his mother’s one-sided conversation. “Don’t worry Hun, I’ll I drive Jimin… Yes, he’ll understand you had to work late… The snow just started, roads aren’t bad right now, I’ll go slow on the way home… He’s been practicing for this show the last three months, of course I’m bringing him… I’ll call you when we get home… I love you too…”_

_Mrs. Park hangs up the phone and goes back into the living room, she sees Jimin pouting on the couch. She sits next to him and places a kiss on the top of his head. “Dad has to stay late at work tonight, he’s sorry honey, and he promises he will make it the next one.” She assumes Jimin heard the conversation._

_Jimin leans into his mother, and points to a pamphlet on the coffee table. “What’s that?”_

_His mother chuckles as she grabs the pamphlet and starts looking through it. “Oh, a friend at Mommy’s work gave it me. Her daughter was just accepted into this school. So, she wanted to show us… Busan Arts College, it’s a beautiful school.”_

_Jimin points to a picture of people dancing, “I wanna go there!”_

_Mrs. Park looks down at her son and smiles. “Then you will…someday when you’re older. You’re going to be wonderful dancer Jimin. And I’ll make sure I’m there to see every show.”_

_Jimin looks up at her and smiles. His mother kisses the top of his head again, “we have to get going, don’t want you to be late for your first show.” Jimin giggles and hops off the couch._

 

**February 2017, 21 years old**

Jimin hates how that memory always resurfaces when he is about to go on stage. He admits that the memory itself is not bad, but it was the beginning of the end for him.

He stands in BTS’ empty dressing room in front of the mirror. It is the first night of their Wings Tour. And as he runs over dance moves one last time, he nervously realizes this is the first time he will be performing his solo song ‘Lie’ in front of an audience.

Jimin takes a deep breath as he looks over his styled hair and the outfit he was put in. He is wearing tight black pants with black boots, a white silk V-neck shirt loosely tucked in, with a black jacket over it. He brings his hand up to his neck where he runs his fingers over a leather choker.

The dressing room door is suddenly pushed open as an excited Hoseok and Jungkook run inside. “Jimin-ah! They need everyone back stage… No more practicing you’re going to do great!” Hoseok shouts as he stands next to Jimin checking out his own similar outfit before ruffling the youngers silver hair.

Jungkook runs up and jumps onto Jimin’s back, who catches him easily and places his hands under the youngers upper thighs to hold him up. 

Jungkook buries his face in Jimin’s neck for a second then peeks at him in the mirror. “You look so handsome Hyung,” Jungkook says quietly, breath tickling Jimin’s neck.

Jimin smiles and his cheeks turn a slight pink as he watches Jungkook through the mirror. He scrunches up his nose in the most adorable way to try and hide his embarrassment. Jimin can’t help noticing how the younger can make his heart pound in his chest. Or how sometimes it would seem that Jungkook was flirting with him, with the subtle touches, the gentle praising. Or even the way he would tease him about his height or the way he would mimic his dancing. Jungkook was always watching him, Jimin wasn’t blind to that. _But why the hell would anyone want me_ Jimin thought to himself, _especially Jungkook_.

The maknae was virtually great at everything, his voice was amazing, he was a great dancer, and he could master any sport, and pretty much anything he set his mind to. _I’m just over thinking this, Jungkook deserves someone great, and I’m the farthest from that._ Jimin shakes his head and follows Hoseok out of the dressing room with Jungkook still on his back. Hoseok jumps up and down excitedly, “this is going to be a great show… aren’t you two pumped!?” Jimin hums in agreement while Jungkook smiles and nods.

Hoseok glances at Jimin trying to measure his mood. When Jimin feels Hoseok looking at him he looks at the older boy and grins, his eyes turning into the shape of crescents. Hoseok beams back at Jimin, figuring everything must be okay.

Two and half hours later everyone is back in the dressing room, and Jimin feels great. He always loved the high he got after a great show. He had changed into jeans and a loose tank-top to be more comfortable. While they gather their things to head back to the hotel their manager, Sejin asked to speak with all of them.

“Well we were going to wait to tell all of you.” He simply says while Jimin and the rest of the guys crowd around. “BigHit has decided to extend the tour… Once we get back to Korea we’re going to do one show in each of your home cities… We figured fans would love it. We can do the show and then film a little on each of you, about where you’re from, show the fans where you went to school, used to hang out. See if the parents are home, what do you guys think?”

Everyone loves the idea, except for Jimin. Everyone starts talking excitedly about how much fun it’ll be, what they would like to show the fans about where they’re from, except for Jimin.

Jimin can’t seem to move, he also wonders if he has forgotten how to breathe. His heart pounds in his chest as he realizes he is starting to sweat. His throat is clenched tightly shut, as if a thick hand is crushing his wind pipe. He can’t find the words… the words to say no, he doesn’t want this, this is a horrible idea. Is the room spinning, or is he? He is going to puke. Finally, his legs can move, his mind screaming at him to run, he doesn’t though, he just silently leaves the room.

He walks down the hall, while everything becomes blurry. He ignores the people looking at him. Ignores the venues staff asking if he needs anything. He finds an exit that says, ‘employee exit only’ so he figures this door won’t have an alarm, he pushes his way outside. Jimin finds himself in a back lot where employees must have to park. He leans against the building and sucks in the cold, sharp February air. He clutches at the thin material of the tank top against his chest where his heart pounds loud enough for him to hear.

Jimin crouches down against the building, knees pulled up to his chest he wraps his arms around his legs and rests his cheek against his arms. Everyone always thought it was cute how flexible he was. He was the only member who could do a full split, and even standing he was able to fold himself in half. The other members thought it was hilarious fans had made compilation videos of him in his apparently famous crouched position.

Right now, Jimin just wants to disappear. He honestly feels as small as he looks. His face feels hot compared to the cold February air. Jimin is vaguely aware that he is crying. The tears sting his eyes and roll down his cheeks, he lets out a shaky breath.

 

**December 2003, 8 years old**

_It had snowed more than the weathermen had predicted. The roads were thickly covered with snow, there were hardly any other cars on the road. White-out conditions, you couldn’t see ten feet in front of you. At least that is what the driver of the truck had said…_

_Jimin couldn’t remember how he ended up in the hospital. But when he woke up he called for his mother until a nurse finally came in. She tried to quiet him down but he just ignored her and kept calling for his mother until she left._

_Mr. Park bursts into the room looking distraught, eyes red and face flushed, clothes wrinkled, as if he had been sleeping in the same outfit for a week. Jimin smiles when his father approaches the bed, his father does not return his smile, his face hardens as he hisses, “would you. Just. Shut up… quit your fucking yelling.”_

_The smile fades from Jimin’s small face. Jimin remains silent while he is checked out by the doctor one last time before being discharged from the hospital. He doesn’t speak the whole ride home. He keeps his mouth shut until he is inside the house slowly taking off his puffy winter jacket, wondering why he is still wearing the itchy tux pants. “…Where’s Mommy?”_

_The slap came hard and fast. It caught Jimin off guard, making his head snap to the right. He brings his small hands to the side of his face, eyes wide with terror as he turns towards the man towering over him. Sure, his father yelled, but he had never hit him before._

_Tears threaten to spill down his chubby cheeks as he stares at his fathers clenched fists. “NO!” Jimin jumps at his father’s sudden outburst, and then he’s being lifted off the ground by his upper arms._

_“Look at me!”, he shakes Jimin’s small body until he lets out a whimper. Jimin slowly raises his eyes to meet his father’s black stare. “You don’t get to fucking cry.”_

_“Where’s Mom-“ Jimin sobs when Mr. Park roughly shakes his again, cutting off his words. Jimin doesn’t understand._

_“She’s dead you little shit!” his father screams angrily into his eight-year-old sons face. Jimin doesn’t understand, he starts crying. “Because of you… all she fucking cared about was you and your fucking dancing… I told her not to fucking drive in the snow… that the roads were worse than she thought.” He drops Jimin to the ground. Jimin doesn’t understand but he cowers on the ground._

_“I can’t fucking look at you!... she’s dead because of you!... she is gone and you’re still here…” Jimin’s father trails off, Jimin finally understands. His father disappears into the kitchen while Jimin lays on the ground trembling, crying silently._

_After several long, agonizing minutes he finally finds the strength to stand up. As he makes his way to his bedroom he sees the Busan Arts College pamphlet on the coffee table. Jimin grabs it, hugging the paper to his chest as he goes to his bedroom and shuts the door._

_Jimin’s father had kept true to his word, he hardly ever looked at Jimin again. Expect when he came home from work and would drink himself into a drunken stupor. And find any reason he could to yell at, and beat the shit out of Jimin. There wasn’t a day that didn’t go by where Jimin didn’t have bruises covering his tiny frame. He had quickly learned how to heat up TV dinners and noodle cups in the microwave because that is all his father would buy._

_Jimin cried himself to sleep every night, because in the blink of an eye this had become his pathetic new reality._


	3. Comfortably  Numb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 is short sorry!!  
> Chapters 4 and 5 will be longer. Going to be incorporating Yoongi more. :)  
> This chapter explains a little bit more on Jungkook.  
> :3

Jimin wasn’t sure how long he was outside in the cold. He knew he was shivering but he felt numb, he enjoyed the feeling, enjoyed the frigid wind against his bare arms and face. It allowed him to quiet his thoughts, if only for a little while.

The door next to Jimin opened, he could hear urgent voices but couldn’t register what they were saying. After a moment, the door opened and shut again, and there was something thick being draped across his back. Blocking out the freezing wind, disrupting his comfortable numbness, it was his jacket.

Someone was now sitting in front of him, they had started rubbing his arms trying to warm him up. Jimin finally lifts his head and is not surprised when he meets Taehyung’s concerned gaze.

Since Jimin and Taehyung were the same age they would naturally cling to each other. They could always tell when the other was upset, and were able to sit in a comfortable silence and could keep each other company without it being awkward.

This very moment was not the case, Taehyung was upset. His frowned deepened as he took in Jimin’s red-rimmed eyes.

“Jimin-ah… what is going on?... have you been out here the whole time? You’re freezing… We’ve been looking for you for over an hour, we were two seconds away from calling the Police when one of the workers said they saw you sneak outside.” Taehyung was throwing question after question at Jimin who didn’t have the energy to answer any of them. 

“…Tae…” Jimin buried himself deeper into his jacket, his voice quiet and small.

It broke Taehyung’s heart to see his best friend like this. Normally Jimin was so full of life, no matter where ever he was, if there was music playing he couldn’t help but start dancing. He would laugh and play along with Hoseok’s weird antics. And participate in Jin’s VLive show, ‘Eat Jin’, no matter how silly they tended to get. He could even make Yoongi laugh, who appeared to be grumpy 90% of the time.

Jimin also helped keep Tae grounded, hell he kept all of them grounded. Sometimes when they were on camera they would get a little rowdy and loud. Jimin would be sitting their quietly, seemingly taking everything in, ready to be the voice of reason when they didn’t follow directions and choose not the listen to the staff. 

Seeing Jimin like this, so broken, and not knowing the reason why, scared the shit out of Taehyung.

Jimin’s tired voice pulls Tae out of his thoughts. “…I’m tired… can we just go back to the hotel?” Taehyung could only nod. When they had finally found Jimin; BTS’ manager, Sejin was ready to go outside and start yelling at him for scaring the shit out of everyone. But Tae had asked if he could go and talk to Jimin instead. Their manager had finally agreed and told Taehyung him and the rest of the members would be out front in the van, waiting to head back to the hotel for the night.

So now as Taehyung helped pull Jimin up off the ground, he wondered what had he really accomplished. Jimin was still hurting, and Tae had no idea why.

He opens the door to bring Jimin back inside, when Jimin suddenly stops. Taehyung turns to look at him, noticing how small he appeared in his own jacket.

Jimin was biting his lip as he stared down at his shoes. “…I don’t want to go to Busan and perform, but I can’t help feeling guilty because that is Jungkook’s home to.”

“But, why?” Taehyung askes as he pulls Jimin inside the rest of the way, his nose and cheeks pink from the cold.

Jimin shrugs as Tae starts leading him down the hall, past the dressing room they had used. “We all have our demons Tae,” is all he mumbles.

Taehyung puts his arm around Jimin’s shoulders as they make their way to the front of the venue. He pulls Jimin close, hoping he would open up to him more, but he knows he probably won’t. 

As Jimin walks down the long corridor with Taehyung glued to his side, he worries about how much of an asshole he must look like to the rest of guys. He suddenly feels exhausted, that panic attack had taken a lot out of him. _Is that what that was?_ he wonders lazily to himself. He leans against Taehyung, which was surprising because he usually liked to deal with his problems on his own. Aside from his father, whom he hasn’t spoken to or seen since he was 14 years old, he had other reasons for not wanting to go back to Busan. And the only thing the rest of the members knew about his childhood was that he was an only child, whose mother had died when he was young, and him and his father were not particularly close.

As the boys make their way outside and start heading to the van Sejin is standing close by. Jimin bows his head as him and Tae walk by the older man, who gives Jimin a look as if to say, ‘oh yes, we will be talking about this tomorrow.’

Jimin slides into the van to the farthest seat against the window, once Taehyung climbs in next to him and Sejin closes the door they start heading back to the hotel.

While they ride in silence, a silence Jimin is grateful for, he rests his head against the cold window. He misses the numbing cold outside, maybe because he feels like he is suffocating in this cramped, too hot van.

Jimin feels someone give his shoulder a gentle squeeze from the seat behind him. He knows it is Jungkook, he is always painfully aware of where the younger boy is. Recently the younger had been making him feel things he wasn’t particularly ready to deal with.

Jungkook watched Jimin carefully as he closed his eyes with his head against the window. He had to admit he was a little jealous when Sejin had let Taehyung go get Jimin. He had wanted to be the one that comforted him, he couldn’t help the fact that in a lovable way he thought of Jimin as his. Jimin was someone he wanted to protect and take care of. Jungkook cared about all his Hyung’s of course, he didn’t want any of them to be upset, Jimin was just special.

He knows Jimin is his Hyung, the older boy frequently reminded him of this fact, but he couldn’t help how protective he could get at times. Maybe it was just because Jimin is smaller than him, or his innocent face. Or the fact that his damn nickname is Mochi, not that Kookie was very tough either.

But Jungkook even found himself sometimes getting a little jealous of the other members and their affections towards Jimin. For example, Jin and his hugs, sometimes he would hang on to Jimin a little too long. Jin even admitted multiple times in interviews that if he were a girl he would date Jimin! And there was Namjoon, always talking about how cute their Mochi was. Oh, and Hoseok was one the biggest culprits, if he wasn’t trying to playfully grind on Jimin when they were dancing, he was having Jimin sit in his lap. There was no way he could compete with Taehyung, they were always together, picking on each other or giving each other piggy back rides. And finally, Yoongi, who Jimin always wanted to make sure was in a good mood, so he was always trying to get Yoongi to smile or laugh. And if he watched anyone else feed Jimin it made him want to scream.

As he sat in the back of the van, pressing his tongue against the inside of his cheek, something he apparently did when he was jealous, he wondered when he had become _that_ guy.

The drive to the hotel felt like it took forever, so once the van came to a stop Jimin couldn’t get out quick enough. Some of the staff had already gotten to the hotel, so they had already gotten the boys room keys for them. Jimin quickly grabs his, thankful he is rooming with Tae so he wouldn’t have to answer to anyone else tonight.

Once Jimin makes it to the room, he tosses his suitcase on his side of the room, not caring where it lands, and climbs into bed fully clothed, cocooning himself in the sheets. _This is going to be a long tour,_ he thinks to himself as his mind wanders, and he closes his eyes hoping for sleep to find him soon, planning on getting a fresh start tomorrow.


	4. Min Yoongi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it was his favorite sweatshirt, only because Jimin had bought it for him for his birthday two years ago. Just knowing Jimin had been thinking about him was enough to make it his favorite. Yoongi almost blurts out how cute Jimin looks in it, but he bites his tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still have a lot of ideas in my head about where I'm taking this fic.
> 
> So let me know what you guys think! :)

**April 2017**

Min Yoongi couldn’t help the small smile that played at his lips as he dug in his pockets for the room key he was literally just given ten minutes ago. He stood in front of room 307 palming his pants pockets, and the smile had something to do with the silver haired boy standing next to him, laughing at what was occurring at the end of the hallway.

Yoongi turned his attention to what Jimin found funny, and couldn’t help rolling his eyes. Jungkook and Taehyung were each sitting on top of their 4-wheeled suitcases, preparing to race down the hall. Jin who was known as the Mom of the group, was standing in front of them with his hands on his hips.

“We just got to this hotel, you two are going to get us in trouble.” Namjoon was busy attempting to move Jin out of the youngers’ way.

Tae leans around the two older boys in the middle of the hallway and calls to Jimin. “Okay Jiminie, you’re the finish line.”

Jimin stands in the middle of the hallway posing cutely, “Okay… Go!”

Tae and Jungkook take off down the hallway, as fast as the carpet will allow. About halfway to Jimin, Taehyung trips on the carpet and topples over, along with his suitcase. Jungkook reaches Jimin, wrapping his arms around Jimin’s waist so he doesn’t fall.

“Jungkookie you won!” Jimin bursts into laughter, making Yoongi smile again. The sound is so light, and airy, and infectious because Jungkook starts laughing as well.

Yoongi finds the room key in his sweatshirt pocket finally, and opens the door. Jimin runs in past him to claim the bed near the window. Yoongi didn’t argue because hell, he was just happy to have Jimin in the same room as him.

Jimin lets himself fall backwards onto the bed. He closes his eyes and yawns, he is tired and frustrated. The only bag he had with him was his carry-on. The airline had put his suitcase on the wrong flight, but they assured him he would receive it by tomorrow before the concert. So, the only extra clothes he had with him was a t-shirt and shorts to sleep in.

Yoongi stares as Jimin stretched his arms above his head. His well-toned lower stomach peeking out from under the baggy stripped shirt he is wearing. He is also wearing the jeans that are Yoongi’s favorite, the ripped skinny jeans offered a pleasant view of Jimin’s perfect, smooth thighs.

Jimin cracks open one eye, and smiles slow and lazy when he catches Yoongi staring at him. Yoongi quickly looks away and starts unpacking his suitcase, feeling his face turn hot.

“Yoongi-Hyung?” Jimin yawns again while Yoongi hums in response. “Can I burrow one of your sweatshirts until I get my suitcase tomorrow?... I’m kinda cold.”

“Yeah, of course.” Yoongi starts looking through his suitcase. But then stops, glancing down at the gray Puma sweatshirt he is wearing now. He takes it off, handing it to Jimin awkwardly, who smiles with that damn perfect eye smile of his.

“Thanks, Hyung! I know this is one of your favorites.” Jimin grins again as he puts the sweatshirt on. Yoongi rubs the back of his neck as a blush creeps across his cheeks, but he shrugs nonchalantly.

Yes, it was his favorite sweatshirt, only because Jimin had bought it for him for his birthday two years ago. Just knowing Jimin had been thinking about him was enough to make it his favorite. He almost blurts out how cute Jimin looks in it, but he bites his tongue.

Yoongi watches Jimin stretch his arms above his head again, so the large sleeves of the sweatshirt slide down his arms to his elbows, making him look almost child-like. It was the damn cutest thing he’s ever seen, it rivaled Jimin’s adorable sweater paws.

Yoongi could remember the first time he met the Busan boy. Jimin was the last member to be introduced into BTS. The rest of them already moved into the dorm, and they were having their first meeting to go over some rules about living together. They had all agreed to keep things platonic between them, figured it would make living together easier.

Yoongi could remember rolling his eyes and scoffing when Namjoon had suggested that. Not because he didn’t think it was a good idea, but because he couldn’t imagine looking at another guy that way. He had been with the same girl for two years then, and he was content.

But then his world had been turned upside down when their manager had walked in with a small boy in tow. Jimin had been polite, he bowed and introduced himself shyly. Back then Jimin had been all chubby cheeks, and fluffy black hair. One-week later Yoongi had broken up with his girlfriend, he had told her it was to focus on his music, which hadn’t been a total lie. It may have only been partially because of the younger boy with the perfect smile.

As Yoongi took in Jimin now, he had to admit he had changed a lot. The chubby cheeks were now replaced with a jawline that could cut glass. And the black fluffy hair was now any other color besides black most of the time.

Yoongi had never felt this way about another guy. His feelings for Jimin confused him immensely. Yoongi had perfected his apathic attitude, not because he was grumpy, but because he didn’t like doing things he didn’t want to do. But deep down Yoongi liked cute, pretty things.

And he didn’t think anyone or anything was prettier than Park Jimin. Jimin was the type of person Yoongi wanted to take on extravagant dates, not let him pay for anything, ever. And tell him how perfect and beautiful he was every single day.

Yoongi was looking for a place to charge his phone while Jimin played on his, quietly singing to himself, which didn’t bother Yoongi in the least. Jimin’s beautiful voice is interrupted by a knock on the door. Yoongi opens the door letting Jungkook in.

He inwardly sighs, not because he dislikes Jungkook, he thought the guy was great. The Maknae just had a way of stealing Jimin’s attention whenever he was around. And Yoongi’s point was going to be proven in 3, 2, 1.

Jungkook jumped onto Jimin’s bed. “Jimin-Hyung come to my room, Jin’s on VLive doing ‘Eat Jin’”.

Jimin checks the time on his phone, 11pm. “He’s actually eating now? It’s late.” Jimin tries gently shoving Jungkook off his bed but he wouldn’t budge.

“Come on Jiminie-Hyung! Fans are asking for you.” Jungkook whines.

“Only if Yoongi-Hyung comes with me.” Jimin looks back at Yoongi as he allows Jungkook to pull him towards the door.

Yoongi shakes his head, “Uhh… Hell no.”

Jimin’s plump lips fall into an adorable pout. “Not even for me?... we’ll just make guest appearances.”

 _Why does he have to look like a puppy when he pouts?_ Yoongi signs loudly. “Fine! Ten minutes that’s all, then we’re both coming back here and going to bed. We have the fan meeting in the morning and a concert at night…Got it?...Both of you?”

Jimin and Jungkook both say, “Yes Hyung.” Before pulling Yoongi out of the room. Yoongi honestly loved and at the same time hated that he couldn’t say no to Jimin.

The next day they had a busy schedule, with the fan meeting in the morning and the concert at night. Jimin’s suitcase still hadn’t arrived, so he was wearing Yoongi’s sweatshirt again. In which Yoongi could barely contain his smile during the whole meeting.

Jimin looks perfect in Yoongi’s sweatshirt, and the black converse he is wearing. He decided not to put too much product in his hair so his silver hair has a fluffy, touchable quality to it.

The fan meeting was going by quickly. Jungkook and Jimin stole the show as usual, the fans loved their interactions with each other, cheering every time either of them did anything cute.

A fan had given Jin a strangely well-made bouquet of lollipops. Jin is always appreciative, and decides to share them with the rest of the members.

Jin stood before each member and presented them with a lollipop as if he were handing out roses. Jimin is sitting between Yoongi and Jungkook, his leg bouncing under the table as he waited patiently for his lollipop. There wasn’t much Jimin broke his strict diet for, and he usually would turn down all candy, except for lollipops.

As Jin hands Yoongi his lollipop he quickly unwraps it popping it in his mouth. Jungkook jumps up running around to the front of the table where Jin is. He takes the last strawberry lollipop and stands in front of Jimin with it in his hand. He knows the strawberry flavor is Jimin’s favorite, so he goes to hand the lollipop to Jimin, but when he reaches for it Jungkook pulls it back, out of his reach. Getting a collective ‘Awww’ from the small crowd.

Jungkook smiles as Jimin pouts, he unwraps the lollipop while Yoongi watches carefully next to them. Jimin crosses his arms over his chest and holds his mouth open, wanting Jungkook to feed it to him. Jungkook’s mouth goes dry as he brings the lollipop to Jimin’s mouth, ignoring the squeals from the fangirls. His eyes glued to Jimin’s lips as they close around the lollipop so only the white stick is poking out. Jungkook licks his lips quickly as he imagines other things he would like Jimin’s mouth to be doing right this very moment. When he meets Jimin’s gaze again his face feels flushed, and he blushes even more when Jimin winks at him. Jungkook clears his throat and hurries back to his seat. Trying not the look at the adorable Mochi smirking next to him.

Suddenly there is a loud crunch on the other side of Jimin. Jimin turns to see Yoongi staring at him, who had apparently bit down so hard he bit the lollipop in half. Jimin raises his eyebrows at him and runs a hand through his hair, wondering if he had been watching him and Jungkook the whole time. Yoongi looks between Jimin and Jungkook but chooses to say nothing.

Yoongi turns his attention to his phone to look busy. _What the fuck was that!?_ He wonders angrily. _Were they just flirting? Or am I imaging things? Jungkook over there is as red as a fucking tomato, he ran back to his seat so fast, what the hell is he trying to hide a hard-on?... And what was with that wink Jimin!? Jungkook was blocking Jimin from the fans by then… So that wink was only meant for him._ Yongi wonders if he is over thinking things. He taps his foot out of irritation, thinking about all the times he’s watched Jimin’s practiced, and controlled lip bites. And how he always knows the perfect time to lick his lips or stick his tongue out. Yoongi had to admit he would sometimes imagine what it would be like if Jimin’s sexy gestures were meant for him. But he knew Jimin was only acting for the fans. _That’s all that was with Jungkook right?_

Yoongi glances over at Jimin, who is now behind him with Hoseok mimicking the dance moves to some girl group he can’t remember the name of right this second. _I think I’m going to tell Jimin how I feel about him._ Yoongi thinks to himself, feeling brave all of a sudden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is appreciated! ;)
> 
> Story will be getting a bit darker in the upcoming chapters hence the tags! 
> 
> <3<3<3


	5. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The nightmares were always a little different, they wouldn’t always end the same, but they all revolved around one memory. One night in his life that changed everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ FIRST!!!!  
> Will be using italics for flashback  
> Does have sexual abuse in this chapter, did not go into detail since it involves an underage Jimin.  
> It is important for Jimin's story and will come back up later on.  
> But if you are uncomfortable do not read it.  
> I will put *** at the beginning and end of the scene.

**April 2017**

Everything had gone black, he was falling and he never reached the bottom of the dark abyss. 

Jimin Wakes up gasping for breath, the white t-shirt he is wearing is drenched in sweat, clinging to him uncomfortably. He lays in a tangled mess of sheets on the hard hotel room floor. Jimin struggles out of the sheets, kicking them away from himself. He gets up slowly, his legs shaking as he feels around for his phone to use the flashlight on it. When he finally finds it his fingers fumble with the password as his hands tremble. He swings the phone in the direction of the bed across the room, frowning when he sees that it is empty. He checks the time, 1:16AM, surprised that Yoongi is not back yet.

BTS had gotten a day off before their next concert. So, they had decided to site-see, goof off, and just relax with each other. Once they all got back to the hotel, Namjoon, Hoseok, and Yoongi decided they weren’t tired yet so they went back out to a bar down the street to grab some beers.

Jimin knew he wasn’t going to be falling asleep anytime soon, so he changes his shirt and heads down to the hotels 24-hour gym to blow off some steam. He finds some upbeat music on his iPod to drown out his thoughts, puts his ear buds in and starts up with a quick pace on the treadmill.

It had been about two years since the nightmares had stopped. Jimin assumed his impending trip back to Busan was the main cause for the sudden recurrence. He punches at the buttons on the treadmill, increasing incline and speed. The nightmares were always a little different, they wouldn’t always end the same, but they all revolved around one memory. One night in his life that changed everything.

**October 2005, 10 years old**

_It was Friday night, which meant Jimin’s father was going to be having his weekly poker match with some of his co-workers. Normally Jimin would have to stay in his room while this was going on, his father didn’t want him seen or heard, and if he even came out to use the bathroom while the guys were still there he would have to deal with his father’s wrath the next day._

_This night Jimin’s father was anxious because the CEO’s son was attending this card game, he was also Vice President of the company, soon to be taking over once his father retired. Mr. Kim was 35, handsome, always wore expensive suits, drove the nicest cars, and only went out with the finest women. Mr. Kim’s family was well known since they owned and managed several factories all over South Korea._

_Mr. Parks co-workers started arriving a littler earlier than usual, and he was already about six beers into his buzz so he forgot about Jimin who was on the couch quietly watching TV. Jimin couldn’t help smiling to himself when he realized his father wasn’t screaming at him to get in his room. He had the TV to himself, which never happened because his father didn’t let him watch TV…ever. Jimin was planning on soaking in as much cartoons as his young mind could handle._

_Several hours later Jimin was asleep on the couch, he became vaguely aware of the other side of the couch dipping, and then someone was running their fingers gently through his hair. It felt…nice, something his mother used to do, but wait, his mother was- Jimin sat up quickly, he was disoriented but still pushed the hand away._

_He glances at the TV, it had to have been late because the cartoons were replaced with strange commercials he didn’t understand. Jimin glances over when a hand brushes against his shoulder, he looks up into Mr. Kim’s smiling face._

_“Hello Jimin, do you remember me?... we met once before but you were young, maybe around five… I met your mother that day to, she was beautiful. My name is Mr. Kim, I work with your father, I’m his boss.” When Jimin shakes his head Mr. Kim smiles knowingly. “That’s okay… How old are you now?”_

_“…T-Ten…” Jimin looks down at his hands twisting in his lap._

****

_“Wow… Ten’s a good age, that means you’re not a little kid anymore.” Mr. Kim reaches out and brushes his fingers down the side of Jimin’s neck, over some bruises made from his father’s hands. “Your father is a very stupid man… But I think you know that already.”_

_Jimin flinches away from the unwanted touch, and glances nervously at his father who is passed out face down at the kitchen table. The only other person here with him now is Mr. Kim. His eyes flick back nervously to the man sitting next to him when Mr. Kim chuckles._

_“Oh, he won’t be awake until morning, I made sure he had plenty to drink… Now, how about you show me where your room is?” Jimin shakes his head while Mr. Kim hums, “Well the house isn’t very big, I’m sure we can find it.” He grabs onto Jimin’s small wrist and heads down the hall, all Jimin can do is follow mutely behind the older man. Mr. Kim wasn’t lying, he finds Jimin’s bedroom quickly and shuts them in the room together. Jimin looks around at anything other than the man standing in his small bedroom._

_“Hmm you don’t talk much do ya kid?” Mr. Kim picks Jimin up and sits him on his bed, then crouches down in front of him trapping Jimin between his long arms. “Shhh… don’t cry, I’m not trying to scare you," Mr. Kim coos softly. Though the touches were gentle Jimin knew they were wrong. He didn't want this, he felt so small and helpless, every nerve in his body was screaming at him to get away from this man. Jimin tries to back away from Mr. Kim's suffocating arms, and smothering touch, but the older man grabs onto Jimin's small thighs so hard making him let out a small whimper._

_Jimin wasn’t aware he was crying, he starts trembling when Mr. Kim pets his head. “You’re as cute as a puppy Jimin… But you need to be good, or I’ll get angry.”_

_Jimin shut down after that, trying his hardest to will his body to go numb. He tried hard to shut his brain off, he didn't want to feel anything, because it was the only way for him to deal with what happened next._

_He wondered how much time had gone by, because now he was standing up on wobbly legs, and his disheveled clothes were being straightened back on him. He glanced down at his bed, there was blood on his sheets, he briefly wonders where the blood came from. But then Mr. Kim takes his chin in his hand and makes Jimin meet his eyes._

_“Now, you’re going to be a good boy… And you’re not going to tell anyone about what just happened, it’s a secret. If you tell anyone your father will lose his job, and if that happens he won’t be able to keep the house, so you’ll have to move. Then what will happen to all your mothers’ things.” Mr. Kim pets Jimin’s head one last time, Jimin just stands there as still as a statue. Mr. Kim lets himself out, without another word. He also came to every poker game from that day on, and was always the last to leave._

***

**April 2017, 21 years old**

Yoongi all but fell into his and Jimin’s hotel room, it was 2:35 in the morning and he had, had a little too much to drink. “Jimin!” he whispers, “Jimin are you still up?” Yoongi turns the bathroom light on so he can see, and looks around the room stupidly when he sees Jimin’s bed empty. He flops onto Jimin’s bed, face first into his pillow, inhaling Jimin’s sweet scent. So maybe he was only slightly obsessed with Park Jimin. Yoongi pulls out his phone and drunkenly thumbs through his contacts until he finds Jimin’s number. He calls Jimin, but there is no answer, he pouts and tries calling Jimin again, when he gets Jimin’s voicemail he groans and hangs up the phone. 

Less than five minutes later Jimin walks into the hotel room, he waves his phone at Yoongi showing the missed calls on his phone.

“Jimin-ah!” Yoongi sits up while Jimin presses a finger to his own lips to quiet Yoongi. He sits down next to Yoongi on his bed. “Yuck you’re all sweaty,” Yoongi slurs while he scrunches up his nose.

Jimin chuckles, “I was at the gym… And you’re drunk… How much did you three have to drink?”

Yoongi waves the question away with his hand. Then he clasps Jimin’s wrist tightly, “Jimin I have to talk to you… I’ve been thinking about it all day.” He leans in closer to Jimin, who raises an eyebrow and leans back a little. “I’m trying to tell you something come here… I-I’m not good at stuff like this…But I think you’re fucking awesome.”

Jimin has no idea where this is going but he shakes his head. “Hyung, why don’t we talk in the morning, after you get some sleep?” Jimin stands up, Yoongi’s painfully tight hold on his wrist switches to his waist, which makes Jimin freeze. Yoongi stands up quickly, pulling Jimin against his chest.

Jimin tries to step back from Yoongi, but the older boy has a firm hold on him. “Yoongi… I don’t think this is a good idea… How about we talk tomorrow, I don’t think we feel the same about each other… let go please.” Jimin tries to wiggle out of Yoongi’s arms without hurting his feelings too much.

“Jiminie wait-…Hold on… Stop squirming.” Yoongi practically growls. He suddenly grabs Jimin’s face and roughly kisses him. Jimin’s eyes widen in shock when Yoongi shoves his tongue in his mouth, and that’s when the fear sets in. 

Jimin roughly pushes against Yoongi’s chest, knocking him backwards onto the bed, “S-Stop!”

Yoongi stares up at Jimin, eyes wide. “Jimin… I-I…” Jimin swats at the air angrily to shut him up.

“No!... Y-You can’t just do that… You can’t just go around kissing whoever you want. I get you’re drunk but what the fuck?” Jimin grabs his pillow and his phone and heads to the door, before Yoongi has a chance to answer.

“Jimin wait!” Yoongi calls after him.

“Just go to bed.” Jimin mumbles angrily, and slams the door behind him. He paces in the hall way, trying to walk off the anger that is building in his chest. He had let a drunk Yoongi steal his first kiss! He didn’t even have feelings for Yoongi. Yes, Jimin was 21 years old and hadn’t actually kissed someone yet. He knew more then he wanted to about sex, but knew nothing about relationships, or all the cute things he’s seen in movies, or heard people talk about.

Jimin makes a decision, standing in front of Jungkook and Jin’s door he pulls out his phone and calls Jungkook, who picks up after the fifth ring.

“H-Hyung?” Jungkook grumbles sleepily against his phone.

“Sorry to wake you up Jungkookie…I- uh… I didn’t want to wake Jin, so I called…C-can I stay in your room?... Um I just got back from the gym and Yoongi-Hyung is passed out, and I didn’t want to wake him up with the shower…” Jimin knows his lie sounds ridiculous.

Jungkook doesn’t answer for a minute, Jimin almost thinks he fell back asleep. “So… You don’t want to wake up Yoongi-Hyung up… So, you called to wake me up instead?”

Jimin rubs the back on his neck, his face feeling hot from embarrassment. “…Maybe?... Shit, I’m sorry… It’s stupid I know…”

Jimin pauses when the door opens, and a cute, sleepy Jungkook peeks his head out with his phone still pressed to his ear, eyes not completely adjusted to the bright light in the hall.

Jimin smiles shyly as he hangs up his phone and follows Jungkook into the room. Ten minutes later Jimin is laying on the stiff, uncomfortable couch, while Jungkook gets comfy in his bed. “Jiminie-Hyung… get in bed.” Jungkook mumbles sleepily.

Jimin pauses for a moment, “I probably stink from the gym.”

“I don’t care… I’m not going to let you sleep on the couch.” Jungkook pats the side of the bed next to him.

Jimin slowly gets up and climbs onto the bed next to Jungkook, he stays on top of the comforter, not wanting to get the sheets dirty. Jimin lays on his stomach, and after a moment Jungkook’s hand finds his back, and he rubs in slow lazy circles up and down his spine. Jimin's body stiffens under Jungkook's gentle touch, but he forces his body to relax, wanting to be able to put his trust in someone, anyone. 

Jimin lays there quietly listening to Jungkook’s steady breathing, who is already falling back asleep. Jimin closes his eyes, and focuses on trying to quiet his restless thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is always appreciated!  
> Hope I didn't scare too many of you off! :))
> 
> <3
> 
> More cute Jikook moments to come I promise!


	6. Fake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin’s knuckles turn white as he clutches at the edges of the sink, he leans in closer to the mirror. Did he even know who he really was anymore? If he didn’t know, how could be expect anyone else to _right?_ He was so tired of being… fake. Jimin runs his hands through his silver hair, tugging at the thick locks between his fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me!
> 
> Enjoy! :)

**April 2017**

The next morning Jungkook woke up to a pleasant surprise, he laid there smirking as he took in a snoring Jimin next to him. Jimin was laying sprawled out on his back, pillow covering his face, one of his legs draped across Jungkook’s, he honestly resembled that of a starfish. Jungkook carefully reaches for his phone on the nightstand, making sure not to wake Jimin up. He gently moves the pillow off Jimin’s face and snickers, Jimin’s hair was a complete mess, sticking up in various places.

Jungkook couldn’t stop from smiling, he mumbles “cute” to no one in particular. And then he takes a picture of his sleeping Mochi because bed head was one of his best looks. Jungkook can’t resist posting the picture to Twitter, _Jimin will be so mad_ he chuckles.

Jin was starting to stir on the other side of the room. When he was done rubbing the sleep out of his eyes he glances over at Jungkook. “You’re up early.” He pauses when he sees Jimin sleeping contently in Jungkook’s bed. “When did he get here?”

Jungkook simply shrugs, “Late last night… You sleep like a rock Hyung.”

Now it’s Jin’s turn to shrug as he climbs out of bed. “Yeah, I do… Well I’m going to go shower, let Jimin sleep please.” Jin hated seeing Jimin on this crazy diet, he was practically starving himself by skipping meals and working out like mad. Jin couldn’t help noticing how the younger was pushing himself harder than usual lately, and it bothered him since Jimin was already the hardest worker. Jin was the oldest so he felt the need to take care of all the younger members. So, when one of the them was struggling he couldn’t help worrying.

When Jin disappears into the bathroom Jungkook rolls onto his side and props himself up on his elbow, facing Jimin. He carefully reaches over and takes one finger and runs it down the bridge of Jimin’s nose a couple of times, until the older boy cutely scrunches up his nose. He eventually rolls himself over, right into Jungkook’s chest to try and hide from whatever is tickling his poor nose.

He knows Jin told him to let Jimin sleep, but he couldn’t help that he craved Jimin’s attention. Even if it meant teasing the older boy to the point of adorable frustration. Jungkook knew it was a little immature, but he didn’t care. Jungkook’s pulse quickens when Jimin buries his face in his chest, he observes how perfect the smaller boy fits pressed up against him. Jungkook starts to gently tickle some exposed skin on Jimin’s hip where is shirt had ridden up just a little. He grins when Jimin’s eyes flutter open, and he chuckles a little when Jimin squints up at him with a sleepy and slightly confused expression.

Jimin seems to finally notice how he is pressed up against Jungkook’s body, because he abruptly rolls away from Jungkook groaning out of embarrassment, and covers his eyes by throwing his arm across his face making Jungkook laugh again.

“What’s the matter Hyung?... You were sleeping so cutely, you usually don’t like to cuddle though.” Jungkook teases while a pink tinge spreads across Jimin’s cheeks, even making his ears turn red.

“Shut up Jungkook.” Jimin bites his lip, immediately drawing Jungkook’s attention to his mouth. Jungkook can’t hide his pout when Jimin sits up swinging his legs over the side of the bed getting up quickly.

Jimin doesn’t look at Jungkook as he grabs his pillow and phone which had fallen on the ground, because for some reason he is feeling shy around the younger. “Thanks again… Sorry for bothering you last night.”

“Stop thanking me Hyung… It’s not any different then me asking to lay with you back at home.” Jimin hums in response and smiles shyly at Jungkook, before leaving the room.

He stands awkwardly in front of his and Yoongi’s door, realizing at this very moment he never brought his room key with him the night before. He knocks tentatively, he stands there for a couple minutes with no answer, wondering if Yoongi is in the shower or just ignoring him completely. He knocks louder this time and doesn’t hear any movement from inside the room. Jimin sighs loudly and heads down the hall with his pillow clutched to his chest absentmindedly. He figures he’ll go downstairs and see if he can get himself another room key, realizing he will have to deal with this situation with Yoongi at some point today. Or it was going to be an awkward rest of the tour.

Yoongi avoided Jimin for the rest of the day, Jimin was not surprised by this but he knew they had to talk. Mainly because he didn’t want Yoongi to think that he was mad at him still. So, as he stood in the dressing room after the concert he ignored all the commotion around him finally grabbing Yoongi by the arm and dragging him out into the hall when everyone was occupied and the cameras were off them. 

“What?!” Yoongi hisses as Jimin pulls him away from the doorway out of everyone’s view.

“You know what.” Jimin lets go of Yoongi’s arm, “I wanted to talk to you… About last night, I…”

Yoongi shakes his head, “Huh?... What about last night? I was pretty drunk, don’t even remember getting back to the hotel.”

“You don’t?... Oh…” Jimin’s face feels hot and he rubs his hands together, his eyes flick from Yoongi to his feet.

Yoongi sighs after a minute of watching Jimin squirm. “Alright fine, do you mean the kiss?... I’m over it you know. I mean we’ve all played games where we’ve had to kiss each other on the cheek as a punishment, it’s no big deal.” Yoongi shrugs while he crosses his arms over his chest.

Jimin puts his hands in the pockets of his sweatshirt to keep from fidgeting too much. “Yeah, but last night was different and you know it… I-I just wanted you to know I’m not mad at you… I didn’t want things to be awkward between us… This is going to sound dumb, but that was-…” Jimin stops abruptly when Yoongi puts his hand up to quiet him.

“Can you stop talking for a fucking second, first things first, the only one making this awkward is you.” Jimin stays quiet, surprised by Yoongi’s sudden coldness. He was going to tell Yoongi that had technically been his first kiss, but definitely not now. “And secondly, I know me having too much to drink isn’t an excuse so I am sorry. But come on Jimin, you come across as a flirt, when you’re really just a big tease.” Yoongi puts his hands up defensively. “I mean I saw you with Jungkook at the fan meeting the other day so, get over yourself. I had a few too many beers, thought you looked pretty, and maybe got confused and thought you were easy.” Yoongi simply shrugs. 

Jimin’s eyes widen, and he squeaks out, “You… what!?”

Yoongi instantly regrets what he said when he watches Jimin visibly deflate in front of him. Yoongi had only said all that crap because he was embarrassed as hell because he did something drunk, that he never would have done in a million years if he hadn’t been, mainly because he was a huge wimp when it came to younger boy in front of him. He had gotten a little mad when Jimin wouldn’t just let it go, so he may have taken it too far. Not really knowing how fragile Jimin's mental state already was.

Yoongi reaches out to touch Jimin’s shoulder, his face softening. “Jimin, I’m sorry I-…”

Jimin hits his hand away roughly. “No…” Jimin’s surprised expression disappearing from his face, being replaced by something Yoongi doesn’t recognize. “You know _Hyung?_... I honestly wish you had just kept up with the lie that you didn’t remember last night.” Jimin tries to hide the hurt look on his face but Yoongi catches it as Jimin turns away from him.

Jimin walks into the nearest bathroom, after checking the stalls making sure he is alone he goes over and locks the door. Making his way over to one of the sinks he wipes angrily at the tears that threaten to spill from his eyes. _Why am I getting upset? Yoongi is technically right isn’t he?_ Jimin glares at himself in the mirror. He knew the reason he was upset though, he was starting to question how much the other members really knew him, Yoongi apparently didn’t. If BigHit wanted him to be cute he acted cute, if they needed him to be sexy, he was sexy. They all had their roles to play, didn’t they? But it still didn’t make what Yoongi said hurt any less.

Jimin’s knuckles turn white as he clutches at the edges of the sink, he leans in closer to the mirror. Did he even know who he really was anymore? If he didn’t know, how could be expect anyone else to _right?_ He was so tired of being… fake. Jimin runs his hands through his silver hair, tugging at the thick locks between his fingers. He suddenly finds himself thinking of Jungkook. _What does Jungkook think of me?... The same way Yoongi does?_ He honestly hoped not, Jungkook was important to him whether he wanted to admit it or not. And he cared a lot about what he thought.

A bitter laugh suddenly escapes Jimin’s lips as he stares at his reflection, everything had been going so good, he almost forgot how much he hated himself. For nearly four years now he had been putting up this façade, this wall, trying to hide himself. He didn’t feel like he deserved anyone’s kindness, from the other members or even the fans. The decisions he had made in his life this far, shitty or not, had ultimately brought him here, which was supposed to be a good thing. But it was starting to not feel that way, he was still the same ugly person he had been four years ago, no matter how much of an act he put on. Jimin didn’t want to end up hurting the other members, whether it was emotionally or by fucking up their careers. They were the only thing he had left that resembled a family. 

Jimin had to look away from mirror Jimin because he felt like he was ready to scream. He splashes water onto his face as he starts to feel sick to his stomach. One thing he was sure of as he left the bathroom, was that he was really fucking exhausted from not being himself.

**May 2017, 3 weeks later**

“What the hell?... Where did he go?... Hoseok! Did you seriously let Jimin out of your sight again!?” Namjoon shouts with frustration across the run-down warehouse. It was only 8am and BTS was in the middle of a photoshoot for Puma, something they were cramming in during their tour. If it wasn’t the photoshoots, they had interviews, special appearances, and fan meetings on top of shows nearly every night. It was enough to make Namjoon’s head spin, and as he watched Hoseok look around and then smile sheepishly back at him he realized Park Jimin was also making his head spin.

Namjoon turns apologetically back to the photographer and bows. “I’m sorry, I’ll find him.” The photographer looks at his watch before nodding and walking away. Namjoon sighs as he looks around again, noticing that their manager Sejin is on the phone so he goes to find Jimin by himself. As he walks by one of the windows he notices someone laying outside in the wet morning grass. Though it was foggy, it was easy to spot the mop of orange hair against the green tufts of un-mowed grass.

Namjoon shakes his head and makes his way outside. These past few weeks Jimin has grown increasingly distant. Whenever the cameras weren’t on him he would disappear, he was only talking when he had to, and his lack of eating was starting to worry everyone more and more. As Namjoon got closer to Jimin he noticed how he reminded him of a cat, laying in the sun with his eyes closed and a placid expression on his face. Jimin’s tranquil expression vanishes quickly though, when Namjoon stands over him, blocking the sun.

Namjoon smirks at the messy orange haired boy. About a week ago one of BTS’ stylists had wanted to change a few of their hair styles, Jimin had volunteered. The stylist had shortened the back and sides of Jimin’s hair, trimming the top but keeping it long, and Jimin was back to the same orange he had during the Run music video. The shorter hair made him appear younger, but the orange color made him look downright sinful, it was quite the contradiction. Namjoon only liked the orange because it was cute on Jimin and fans really seemed to love it. He clears his throat when he notices Jimin is scowling up at him from his position on the ground.

“So, I see you ran off again… The photographer is looking for you. You’re the last of the single shots, then we have to do some group shots.” Namjoon crosses his arms over his chest, trying to look like a tough leader.

Jimin just grunts and sits up, brushing some grass out of his hair. Namjoon sighs and plops his ass down next to Jimin, who is now playing with one of his shoe laces. “Yeah, I’ll be right there.” Jimin mumbles without looking at Namjoon, hoping he would leave him alone.

Namjoon does the opposite, he pats Jimin’s thigh. “Is everything ok Jimin?... You’ve been really distant lately.”

Jimin sighs, “Yes Hyung… Maybe I just don’t want to hang out with all of you 24 fucking 7, ever think about that?”

Namjoon gaps at Jimin for a second. “That doesn’t really sound like you… We’re all starting to worry about you, ya know?”

Jimin starts picking clumps of grass out of the ground. “How do you know what sounds like me? We all have people in our faces all the time… Maybe I’m tired of doing what everyone askes of me… What if this is my normal.”

Namjoon stays quiet for a while. “I’m always here for you… I want you to know that I’ll always listen to you if you ever need to vent.” _Okay, Jin is so much better at this kind of stuff._

Jimin shakes his head trying to clear his thoughts, he stands up, wiping his hands on his pants before shoving his hand in Namjoon’s face, offering to help him up. Namjoon looks at Jimin’s outstretched hand before meeting his eyes. Jimin offers a small smile so Namjoon takes his hand and smiles as he stands up next to the smaller boy.

Once back inside the warehouse, Jimin finishes his photoshoot quickly, doing an excellent job as usual. Before they started the group shots they all sat down to eat a quick lunch, one of the staff members had gone out to get them some food from a nearby restaurant.

Jimin is lounging on a couch that had been brought in for the photoshoot, when Jin comes over to him with a small plate of food. Jimin declines the food, but Jin isn’t happy with that answer so he crouches down in front of Jimin, taking the fork, he pokes a piece of beef onto it and holds it up to Jimin’s mouth. Then he whispers, “Please eat Jiminie, at least a little.”

Jimin feels his blood start to boil, to the point he grabs the fork out of Jin’s hand. “I don’t need you to fucking feed me!” Jimin throws the fork half away across the room like a toddler. He sees Jin’s hurt expression and feels bad for being such an ass. Jimin silently takes the plate of food from the Jin before getting up. He ignores everyone staring at him as he grabs another fork. Then he stands by the window eating by himself, until Taehyung gets up and goes over and stands with him.

Jin looks over at Namjoon sadly before glancing over at Sejin who had seen the whole thing. Sejin sighs quietly, knowing he is going to have to have a talk with Jimin because something is seriously off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, I got some inspiration for this fanficition after watching G-Dragon's music video 'Crooked'
> 
> What can I say, I enjoy a misbehaving Jimin.  
> ;)  
> Feedback is always appreciated
> 
> More to come!


	7. Pills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back then the addiction had come fast and beautiful. Jimin didn’t feel that the pills hindered him but instead helped him go through the daily motions. And he honestly missed that feeling as he spun himself around in the office chair in Sejin’s hotel room.

**2009, 14 years old**

_Jimin’s small hands shook as he ran the washcloth under the warm water again. He stood inside the small, pale-yellow bathroom; trying to calm his racing heart. His stomach churned as he looked in the mirror and brought the washcloth to his split lip, wiping the blood away. Tears stung his eyes but he refused to let them fall as he looked at the bruise forming against his jaw line. He hated crying, it was just a physical reminder of how weak he really was, so no matter what his father put him through on a daily basis, or what he had to deal with every Friday night because of Mr. Kim, he held back the tears. Except sometimes when he was alone, in the middle of the night, when he couldn’t sleep because of the nightmares or panic attacks, or when his mind was racing with thoughts of better days, he would let the tears fall._

_Jimin huffed as he wiped blood off his lip again, his chest tight with anger, he knew he was going to get looks from people in school tomorrow. He always did when he had bruises on his face, the teachers never asked anything because they always just assumed it was bruises from fights at school, because well, some of them were. Jimin had started picking fights with some of the other kids when he was young. After his mother passed away he had shut down, he no longer participated in class, he started doing poorly on his homework, and started failing his tests. So, when he started getting picked on he refused to put up with it. Jimin didn’t have many friends, no one wanted to be friends with the moody kid who didn’t talk in class. His only friend was Daehyun, a boy who he had known since 1st grade, their fathers worked at the factory together so their families used to hang out often._

_Daehyun only lived a few miles away and Jimin would often ride his bike there after school. Which is why he had gotten home late today, normally his father didn’t care about where he was, or who he was with, unless he was looking for a punching bag._

_Today had been like any other day at Daehyun’s house, the boy had talked about everything and nothing at the same time while Jimin laid on his bed and flipped through his comic books. Daehyun liked being a trouble maker, it was something he prided himself on, he hung out with the wrong crowd, while Jimin tried avoiding everyone. Daehyun had recently found a way he could make some extra money at school, his elderly grandfather had started living with him about six months ago, the old man was always sick so he had an array of medicine at his disposal. So Daehyun started stealing his grandfather’s pain pills and selling them to the kids at school._

_While Jimin flipped through a comic book Daehyun threw a small plastic bag at him with about 10 Oxycodone in it. Jimin glanced at the bag before looking at his friend warily._

_“Okay?” Jimin mumbles before he hits the bag off the comic book._

_Daehyun sighs dramatically. “They’re for you, dumbass… That’s Oxy right there, helps you relax, and dude you look like you haven’t slept in weeks. Try some.”_

_Jimin shakes his head. “You know I can’t afford all that.”_

_Daehyun jumps onto the bed next to Jimin. “Dude I don’t want your money, you’re my oldest friend, I got you.”_

_“Gee, thanks…I guess.” Jimin notices the time so he gets up, grabs his backpack, and shoves the pills into this pocket._

_“Can you believe we’re going to High School in just a couple months… I can’t fucking wait. And I still can’t believe you go into that school.” Daehyun says as he stretches._

_Jimin had to smile at that, he had indeed been accepted into the Busan Arts High School, and by the skin of his fucking teeth because his grades were shit. But the Director of the dance program had loved his audition so much he decided to look past Jimin’s transcripts and give him a chance, only if his grades improved within the first semester._

_Dance had been his only escape after his mother died years ago, he would have had to stop going to dance class because there was no way his father would pay for them anymore. But his dance instructor, Miss Yuen, had realized things at home weren’t the best so she allowed him to attend class for free. Now that Jimin was older and one of her best students he helped her teach the younger kids on the weekends. And she let him practice by himself a few nights a week if he kept up with the sweeping and emptied the trash at the studio._

_Needless to say, Jimin was excited for a fresh start, a new school, new people. He just wanted to keep his father from finding out, because Mr. Park had no idea Jimin had skipped school one day to audition, let alone the fact that he got in._

_Jimin decided to leave before it got to dark, and before Daehyun could have the chance to talk his ear off anymore. When he got home his father was pissed off, and took it out on his son, but what else was new._

_So now as Jimin stood in the small bathroom, he finally got his lip to stop bleeding. He pulls the pills out of his pocket and contemplates flushing them down the toilet, but he hesitates when he feels the weight of the bag in his small hand. He pauses when there is a loud crash coming from the room directly next to the bathroom, which happens to be his bedroom. Shoving the pills into his pocket he leaves the bathroom quickly and stumbles into his bedroom, stopping dead in his tracks._

_Mr. Park had taken it upon himself to tip over Jimin’s desk, the papers and books that were placed on it scattered all over the floor. Now he was pulling the drawers out of Jimin’s dresser and dumping them onto the floor one at a time in his drunken stupor._

_Jimin puts his hands up in a feeble attempt at trying to stop his father. “What are you doing!?”_

_“Shut up!” Jimin’s father hisses as he marches up to Jimin and gets in his face. “What else are you hiding? Drugs?... Money?”_

_Jimin takes a step back, trying to escape his father’s sour smelling alcohol breath. “W-what? I’m not hiding anything.”_

_Jimin’s father pulls some papers out of his back pocket and shoves them in Jimin’s face. Jimin’s eyes widen when he realizes that his father is holding his acceptance letter and class schedule for the Busan Arts School. He must have stupidly left it on his desk because his father never came into his room._

_Mr. Park smacks Jimin in the side of the head. “What is this shit?... I told you, you’re not fucking going to this school, so don’t even waste your time… What do you think you’re going to go there and make something of yourself?” Mr. Park laughs bitterly in Jimin’s face, and when his son reaches for the papers he pulls them out of reach. Jimin clenches his fists tightly at his side, suddenly Mr. Park rips the papers up right in front of Jimin’s face._

_“No!... What is wrong with you!?” Jimin drops to his hands and knees trying to gather the torn pieces of paper up off the ground, when he suddenly feels his father’s foot make contact with his ribs. The pain is sharp, and instantaneous, sucking the air out of his lungs, Jimin groans as he lays face first on the carpet, trying to get his bearings back. He curls into the fetal position as his father kicks him again, he holds the ripped school schedule to his chest, closing his eyes tightly through his father’s merciless assault._

_Mr. Park seems to grow tired after a while because he just stands over Jimin breathing heavily. Jimin is afraid to move, so he lays still trying to catch his breath through the pain._

_“I want you out of my house…Now!” Mr. Park pulls Jimin up onto his feet by the back of his hoodie. “Just get the fuck out and don’t come back… You’ll never be anything other than a worthless piece of shit.”_

_Jimin stumbles back out of his father’s hold. “F-fuck you.”_

_Mr. Park grabs the front of Jimin’s sweatshirt and shakes him. “What did you just say to me you little shit?”_

_Jimin glares up into his father’s hard face, wondering how much more of this he can handle. “Fuck!...You!” He watches has his father’s eye widen in surprise at his sudden bravery._

_Jimin clenches his fists, not backing down. “What are you going to do?... You going to hit me?... Well go ahead!” Jimin’s father lets go of him as he watches Jimin tug at his own hair in frustration. “I said hit me!” Jimin shouts as he loses it, he starts laughing as angry tears stream down his face._

_“Just get out, and you’re not allowed back here. If only your mother could see how pathetic her son turned out to be.” Mr. Park turns away from his son without a second glance and disappears into his own bedroom._

_Jimin refrains from screaming at the top of his lungs, and instead grabs his backpack and starts shoving whatever clothes he can find into it, next he goes into the closet and grabs the little money he had saved from helping Miss Yuen around the dance the studio. He takes one last look around his room before quickly leaving the house. Jimin grabs his bike and pauses for only a split second because where the hell is he supposed to go?_

_He can’t go to Daehyun’s house because there is no way they would believe Jimin’s father kicked him out. And if he went to the dance studio to find Miss Yuen and explained his home life she would surely call the police, which would only land him in foster care. Then who knows where he would end up._

_Jimin rides his bike down the street to a small beach, it’s dark now so no one else is around. Jimin climbs off his bike and walks to the edge of the water and throws his backpack into the sand next to him, taking a deep breath of the salty air, he listens to the waves, before clutching at his right side as a wave of pain and nausea take over. He sits down pulling his knees into his chest as sobs rack his small frame._

_After several long minutes once the tears finally subside, he hiccups as he tries to catch his breath. Jimin remembers the pain pills in his pocket so he pulls them out, taking two of the pills he holds them in his palm._

_Jimin places the pills on his tongue, trying to ignore the bitter taste as he swallows them dry. He lays flat on his back, cringing slightly in pain, with his arms spread wide, he buries his fingers in the sand as he waits to feel something, or nothing._

_About 15 minutes later Jimin lets out a sigh of relief, Daehyun was right he was definitely relaxed, he actually felt fuzzy. The warmth started in his toes, then crept up his legs, slowly making its way over his pelvis and abdomen. It lingered in his chest before finding his shoulders and spreading down his arms to the tips of his fingers. The last place the warmth reached was his head and it makes him sleepy._

_After the warmth subsided he was left with a comfortable numbness, and it was perfect. Jimin’s eyes feel heavy so he lets them close, not caring that he is laying in the middle of an empty beach, he didn’t care much about anything at this point. As he tries to slip into a mindless sleep one last thought crosses his mind, there was one place he could go, and the thought makes his stomach cramp up in pain, even with the oxycodone running through his body._

 

**May 2017, 21 years old**

Jimin was 14 the first time he got high, back then the addiction had come fast and beautiful. He didn’t feel that the pills hindered him but instead helped him go through the daily motions. And he honestly missed that feeling as he spun himself around in the office chair in Sejin’s hotel room. Jimin stares up at the ceiling feeling exhausted, thinking back to last the time he had a goodnights sleep. Which had been when he had sought out Jungkook in the middle of night after rejecting Yoongi and his sloppy drunken kiss.

“Jimin, did you hear what I said?” Sejin tries to hide the annoyance in his voice, but he is failing and Jimin can tell.

Jimin lets his head fall to the side as he looks over at Sejin and nods emotionlessly.

Sejin who had been talking at Jimin for about 30 minutes paces back and forth in the large hotel room. “After speaking with Bang PD-nim." Who was the CEO of BigHit, of course. "We want you to see a therapist when we get back to Seoul.”

Jimin suddenly sits up straight. “Hold on… A therapist?” The word resonates within Jimin’s mind.

Sejin nods slowly. “Yes, you’ve been lashing out a lot more lately, your concentration is lacking, I’ve noticed at rehearsals and even shows. And I know you’ve been skipping meals, you need your energy to perform and deal with your busy schedule.”

Jimin scowls at his manager. “Well, I’m an adult so you can’t force me to speak with a therapist.”

“Actually, we can, it’s in the contract you signed with BigHit. We’re supposed to be aware of any mental and physical health changes. We can’t force you to take any medications, that is between you and your doctor. But if we want you to see someone you must go… I can get you a copy of your contract if you’d like.” Sejin tries to say this as nice as possible.

Jimin lurches forward in the chair, groaning as he puts his head in his hands, resting his arms on his thighs. “No…I just-…” Jimin trails off.

Sejin’s voice softens. “I know it sucks, just know I’m doing this because I care about your wellbeing.”

Jimin just stares back at Sejin with nothing to say, he glances down at his shoes while Sejin sits at the edge of his bed.

“So, what is going on Jimin? The other members are worried about you.” Sejin tires not to sound too pushy, but he does want answers.

“Who is worried about me? Namjoon and Jin?” Jimin crosses his arms over his chest as he leans back in the chair.

Sejin nods. “Everyone has expressed some concern over your recent change in attitude.”

Jimin can’t help rolling his eyes. “Alright look, I’m not looking forward to going to Busan, my dad and I aren’t close, he’s going to be traveling for work that week. I would really like if we could skip the stuff about me and just go straight to Jungkook’s families home.” So, it wasn’t a total lie, and he hoped it was enough of an answer for Sejin to get off his back a little while.

Sejin nods again. “Okay… I’ll see what I can do, thank you for being honest with me.” 

Jimin is thankful when Sejin’s cell phone starts to ring. Sejin glances at his phone. “Sorry I need to take this, be ready in 5 minutes, I need to get all of you guys to the venue for rehearsal for the show tonight.”

Jimin nods before mumbling. “Can I use your bathroom?... I don’t have my room key on me.”

Sejin nods before leaving the hotel room with his phone to his ear.

Jimin goes into the bathroom and sits down on the closed lid of the toilet, he rubs his eyes with the bottom of his palms. He notices Sejin’s toiletry bag open on the edge of the sink next to him. Jimin stands up glancing in the bag noticing a few prescription bottles, he fingers through them out of curiosity. Some allergy pills, sleep medication, looks like something for anxiety maybe. Jimin pauses when his hand lands on the Oxycodone, it was pretty well known Sejin suffered from back pain from sleeping in all these different hotel beds while BTS was on tour. But Jimin notices the date on the bottle when it was filled was several months ago, less than half the pills were missing, which means this wasn’t something Sejin took often.

Jimin doesn’t think twice before dumping over half the pills into the pocket of his sweatpants. He closes the bottle back up and places it back carefully where he found it, avoiding his own reflection in the mirror as he ducks out of the bathroom.

Apparently, him and Jungkook were the only two ready in the 5 minute deadline to head to rehearsal. Jimin climbed into the van waiting for the rest of the members while Sejin stood nearby and the driver stood outside smoking a quick cigarette. Jimin eyed Jungkook when he slid over next to him, leaving little space between the two of them. Jimin felt a little bad because he had been ignoring the younger lately, ever since he embarrassingly woke up face first in Jungkook’s chest. Even now he could smell the taller boy’s masculine scent and it was distracting. Jimin puts his earbuds in then turns his music up louder.

“What’s taking everyone so long?” Jungkook askes out loud, when Jimin doesn’t answer him he looks over and frowns. Jimin already has his earbuds in and his eyes closed. Jungkook smirks and quickly pulls both earbuds out of Jimin’s ears. He laughs when the older boy’s eyes fly open and he jumps because he was startled. “I feel like you’ve been ignoring me Hyung.” 

In one swift motion Jimin reaches up grabbing onto some of Jungkook’s hair and gives a good tug making the younger gasp, then he growls out. “Don’t do that to your Hyung.”

Jimin notices Jungkook’s wide nervous eyes, and watches as the younger swallows hard, which makes Jimin smirk. Suddenly something else flashes in Jungkook’s eyes, lust. Jungkook looks at Jimin’s perfect lips, and moves slightly closer to the older who still has a hold of his hair, challenging him.

Jimin gives Jungkook’s hair another tug making the other whimper softly. “Do you like this Jungkook?” Jimin’s voice deepening slightly and coming out raspy.

The simple question sends a shiver down Jungkook’s spine. Jimin’s voice creates a familiar heat down below that rolls into his lower stomach in waves. Before Jungkook can formulate a coherent thought, Jimin lets go of his hair and puts one earbud back in and offers the other to Jungkook as Jin and Taehyung climb into the van. Jungkook graciously takes the earbud Jimin offers while he tries not to appear flustered as he gets himself situated next to Jimin once again. 

The whole drive to rehearsal Jungkook mentally kicks himself for not having the words to answer Jimin’s question, because yes, he did like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> May seem like I take a little while to update, I like to edit my work A LOT ;)  
> so my apologies in advance.  
> Hope to have some more of Yoongi in the upcoming chapter.
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated! 
> 
> :)


	8. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin had been making mistakes all morning at rehearsal. He forgot steps during ‘Blood Sweat and Tears’, tripped and nearly knocked over Hoseok during ‘Spring Day’. And now here he was going over a song he had practiced day in a day out for months and he was still messing up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who is enjoying this fic so far!  
> Your comments mean a lot and I always look forward to reading them.  
> So feel free to comment! :)

The bright spot lights pointed at the stage made his head pound. Jimin’s orange hair clung to his sweaty forehead as he tried to ignore everything around him, trying to push out his negative thoughts. His meeting with Sejin earlier this morning still rang through his head, making him dizzy.

His song ‘Lie’ pumped loudly through the speakers, he clenches his jaw tighter as he misses another step throwing off his count.

Jimin had been making mistakes all morning at rehearsal. He forgot steps during ‘Blood Sweat and Tears’, tripped and nearly knocked over Hoseok during ‘Spring Day’. And now here he was going over a song he had practiced day in a day out for months and he was still messing up.

 _Useless, failure, pathetic_ the thoughts swimming around his head were drowning out the music. And of course, everyone was watching him fuck up.

Jin, Hoseok, and Taehyung were sitting in the first few rows in the audience, Tae and Hoseok yelling encouraging things to Jimin on stage, while their choreographer paced on the ground right below the stage watching Jimin. Namjoon and Yoongi were watching from back stage as they talked quietly amongst themselves, while Jungkook watched from the other side of the stage.

Jimin lost his footing on one of the turns and went down hard. He rolled onto his back and stared up at the bright lights on the ceiling. Usually he would get up quickly and keep going but right this second, he wanted the stage to swallow him up whole. He slammed his hand on the stage feeling the sharp pain in his palm radiate up his forearm.

“Come on Jimin, what’s going on in your head today?” Jimin closes his eyes when he hears the choreographers irritated tone. “You’re usually not like this… How do you expect the show to go tonight if you’re having a tough time during rehearsal?... Listen, take 30 minutes I’m going to have Namjoon run through his song, then I want you back out here.”

The choreographer spoke up again when Jimin stood up on shaky legs. “You need to get your head on straight… Just remember the guys need you to focus, it’s not just you up there.”

Jimin knew all that, did they really think he didn’t? Jimin clenches his jaw tightly as he throws up his hands. “Yup you’re right, I must not give a shit.”

The choreographer crosses his arms over his chest while Jimin turns to leave the stage.

“Jimin, wait!” Namjoon calls out to him trying to diffuse the situation.

Jimin ignores Namjoon and keeps walking. He stares down at his feet as he runs his hand through his hair, not paying attention until he walks straight into Jungkook’s chest. The taller boy wraps a pair of strong arms around Jimin’s smaller frame in a tight but gentle hug. Jimin freezes, he just lets his arms hang at his sides not returning the hug. Jungkook doesn’t say anything, he just buries his nose in Jimin’s orange hair enjoying his natural scent. 

The fact that Jungkook isn't saying anything and is just holding him, makes Jimin’s eyes start to water, he chews on the inside of his lip wondering why Jungkook is always so nice to him when he doesn’t deserve his kindness.

When Jungkook starts to rub slow, sensual circles up and down his back is when Jimin pulls away. Keeping his head hanging low so Jungkook can’t see the tears in his eyes, threatening to fall down his cheeks.

“Jimin, it’s okay… We all have bad days. You’re always amazing on stage during our shows.” Jungkook reaches out and gently rubs Jimin’s shoulders before sliding his hands to Jimin’s neck letting his thumbs slowly brush against the smaller boy’s jaw. “Hyung… look at me.” Concern evident in Jungkook’s voice.

Jimin can’t handle this anymore. Jungkook’s touch is too personal, too gentle, no one’s ever touched him that way. People only took what they wanted from Jimin, not caring what they left behind.

Jimin suddenly pushes Jungkook away from him, rougher than he intended causing the younger to fall backwards into the wall behind him. Jimin turns away while Jungkook rubs the back of his head.

“I don’t fucking need you to take care of me.” Jimin walks away without another word.

He goes back to the dressing room and is happy no one else is in there. He digs around in his sweatshirt that he had folded up in the corner of the room and pulls out three of the oxycodone that he had stolen from Sejin earlier this morning. He stares at the three small pills in his hand, biting his lower lip before popping the pills in his mouth and swallowing them.

He sits down on the cold leather couch and lets his head fall back against the back of the couch. He rubs at his eyes before running his hands through his hair, tugging at the orange locks. He groans quietly as guilt starts to settle in the pit of his stomach. 

It had been about four years since he had last used. He could still remember how difficult the withdrawals had been, but he had pushed through it, and here he was today, still a goddamn mess.

The only reason he was even here right now was because of Miss Yuen. She had been the only one he ever invited to come see his performances at his High School. He hadn’t known that she had recorded him a couple times while he was practicing at her studio, and she had also filmed several of his showcases at school. She had sent them out to a few companies, Big Hit being one of them, so when she got a call back from Big Hit after much persuasion she finally got Jimin to go audition in person. Jimin had originally gone to the audition expecting to be a backup dancer, but then Bang PD asked him if he could sing, and well one month later he was moving into BTS’ dorm in Seoul.

Jimin tries to get comfy on the couch, hoping to take a quick nap before having to get back to rehearsal. He knows the oxycodone will make him sleepy, and usually if he could push through the sleepiness he could get a good high. But right now, falling asleep was the perfect way to forget about how much he was letting everyone down.

 

**2009, 14 years old**

_Jimin had been riding his bike for over an hour now, it had started pouring about 20 minutes ago. He knew the address of where he was trying to go he just wasn’t sure the fastest way there. He had the address memorized because his father had left the invitation for the annual company BBQ on the fridge for over a year._

_The sun was starting to rise when he stood on the front porch of the large Tudor style mansion, with its well-manicured lawn and beautiful flower beds, long gated driveway, which Jimin had climbed after he heaved his bike over it. Jimin was shivering as he rang the doorbell, his clothes were soaked, clinging to him uncomfortably._

_After a minute, a heavy set older woman pulls open the large double doors, looking at Jimin with a confused look on her wrinkled face. Jimin assumed she was a house keeper, noticing her uniform and the yellow rubber gloves she was wearing that went all the way up to her elbows. Jimin remembered his mother would wear those while she was doing the dishes. He stands there awkwardly before bowing because he hadn’t prepared anything to say for when he actually arrived. She eventually closes the door slightly and is talking to someone on the other side. Jimin hears a deep male voice tell her to go finish the dishes, then he takes a step back as Mr. Kim steps out onto the porch, shutting the doors behind him._

_Mr. Kim is already dressed for work, wearing a sleek, fitted, black pin stripe suit, his tie hanging loosely around his neck. He stares down at Jimin while he fixes his tie. “If your father finally drank himself to death you came to the wrong place.”_

_Jimin fidgets with the strings on his dripping wet hoodie, as he stands under Mr. Kim’s questioning gaze, hating at this moment that he inherited his mother’s petite frame and height. “H-he kicked me out…”_

_Mr. Kim lets out a snicker. “And who the hell do I look like?... Listen kid, I can’t help you, the only thing I can do is offer my driver to bring you back home.” The older man turns to go back inside._

_“H-he’ll just kick me out again, I don’t have a key to the house… I don’t know any other family, he lost touch with my grandparents after my mother died. If I go to the police I’ll be put in foster care, or sent to live with some distant relative who doesn’t want me either… I-I don’t have anyone else.” Jimin clutches at his chest as he comes to the sad realization of his statement. “I’m just looking to stay in Busan until I graduate High School, then I’m gone… A-and don’t you owe me?” Jimin states all in one breath._

_Mr. Kim quickly turns back around with an amused smirk on his face. “Well someone’s feisty this morning.” He steps closer to Jimin before grabbing onto his hair forcing the younger to look up at him. He eyes the small shivering boy standing on his porch. “I have rules… You keep to yourself, you’re not allowed to invite anyone over. And if I have people over you are to stay upstairs, I don’t need people thinking I have some illegitimate son running around.” He waits for Jimin to nod before continuing. “You can have one of the guest rooms upstairs, but you’re not allowed to lock the door…ever”_

_Jimin swallows hard when Mr. Kim starts to pet his damp hair._

_The older man grabs onto Jimin’s chin to prevent him from breaking eye contact. “If you’re going to stay here you’re going to be a good little dog… And good dogs listen, do you understand?” Jimin eventually nods and follows Mr. Kim inside._

_Maybe moving in with the man who was raping him on a regular basis wasn’t Jimin’s best decision. But he had his pills, that he could get from Daehyun whenever he asked, to keep him company, they helped numb the pain. Especially on the nights Mr. Kim would come into his bedroom, and break Jimin down a little more every time, until he didn’t have it in him to fight anymore._

_As time went on Mr. Kim got used to having Jimin there, he enjoyed having his pet so close. He would buy Jimin expensive things, he bought Jimin the newest iPhone, bought him clothes for school on a regular basis. He even went as far as opening a bank account in Jimin’s name that he would put money into for the younger to use when he was out of town on business. Jimin had learned quickly not to refuse Mr. Kim’s lavish gifts._

_Mr. Kim would often throw large expensive parties on his estate on the weekends, they would be catered, have live music, and everyone would be dressed to the nines. And only the wealthy would attend these impressive parties._

_Mr. Kim had a small circle of friends that shared his similar “interests”. So, every once in a while, he would bring one of them upstairs to Jimin’s room. They were sometimes women, but usually men, and they all wanted the same thing from Jimin, to use him the same way Mr. Kim did, and leave without any guilt. Jimin often wondered if all adults were like this, taking things that didn’t belong to them without any consequences. Mr. Kim would always stay close by to make sure no one was unnecessarily rough with his precious pet._

_One-night Jimin had tried to refuse, when one particular “friend” of Mr. Kim’s was a little too old and skeevy for him. Mr. Kim had gotten angry at Jimin’s disobedience so he proceeded to whip the younger boy into submission right in front of the stranger, Jimin had welts on his body for weeks._

 

**May 2017, 21 years old**

Jimin woke up with a start, he was still on the couch in the empty dressing room. Not sure how much time had gone by, not that he cared.

He gets up and goes into the bathroom and splashes some cold water on his face, then places his cold wet hands on the back of his neck because he suddenly felt too warm. He glances at his reflection in the mirror before turning to leave, noticing his pupils are small and constricted. He knows it’s from the pills, he hopes no one else will notice. Jimin probably shouldn’t have taken three, since it’s been a while, but he’s feeling good so who cares. Jimin cracks his neck trying to relieve some tension before he opens the bathroom door and bumps into Yoongi.

Jimin bounces off the elder’s chest and just stares blankly at him. “You could have knocked.”

He goes to walk around the older boy but Yoongi grabs onto his wrist. “They asked me to come get you, but I wanted to talk to you first… We haven’t been alone since…” Yoongi trails off awkwardly while Jimin stares at him. “I just wanted to apologize for saying those things to you a few weeks ago… You haven’t really been the same since, I never meant to hurt your feelings Jimin… I was just really embarrassed and felt a little rejected.”

“Don’t apologize Yoongi, you were right… All those things you said about me were true, I was trying to be someone I’m not.” Jimin tries to move away from the older but Yoongi tightens his grip on Jimin’s small wrist.

Yoongi shakes his head. “No, you’re kind, and gentle… You’re perfect, soft, and innocent.”

Jimin chuckles coldly getting Yoongi’s attention. Jimin wondered how much longer everyone would believe these lies about him. Until they saw him for what he really was, someone who used to get smacked around by his own father because of how pathetic he was, because he was ultimately the reason why his mother was killed. And someone who used to let people fuck him and toss him aside like trash, because he didn’t think he deserved any better. 

Jimin goes to object when Yoongi’s eyes suddenly darken, and his grip tightens to the point where it is painful on Jimin’s wrist. “Jimin, I saw you with Jungkook back stage a little while ago… Do you have feelings for him? just tell me… I need to know because seeing you with him makes me mad, jealous- I don’t even know… When I look at you I just want to-…” Yoongi trials off once again because he knows how crazy he must sound.

Jimin glances around. “I don’t even know what I’m doing in my own life, I’m not trying to drag anyone else into it right now. And look, I’m sorry, but I can’t be the one to help you figure out these feelings your having… If you’re just realizing you’re into guys, that’s great… I’m just not the guy you should be falling for… There is only so many nice ways I can say that I don’t feel the same way.”

Yoongi suddenly puts his other hand on the side of Jimin’s neck catching the younger by surprise. “If you’ll just let me show you…”

The possessiveness in Yoongi’s dark eyes makes Jimin uncomfortable, he can’t help feeling vulnerable and he needed to get the upper hand on this situation. He wondered if he was always bound to end up like this, feeling weak, and scared, like he didn’t have control over his own body and what he wanted.

Jimin smirks wickedly. “Do you know what it feels like to not be in control Hyung?”

Yoongi shakes his head, slightly confused by Jimin’s question.

Jimin starts backing Yoongi up until his back is pressed against the nearest wall. “Let me show you.” Jimin whispers.

Yoongi finally let’s go of Jimin’s wrist when the slightly shorter boy leans in. Jimin places both hands on either side of Yoongi’s head then leans in slightly closer and gently blows on his neck, sending a shiver through Yoongi’s whole body. Jimin starts to roll his hips slowly against Yoongi’s growing arousal, one of his muscular thighs slipping between Yoongi’s legs as he continues to grind against the older.

Yoongi finally bites his lip trying to hold back a moan, before grabbing onto Jimin’s slim waist trying to stop him. “…Jimin… Wait.”

Jimin suddenly stops, pulling away leaving a shocked, panting Yoongi pressed against the wall. “What’s the matter Hyung?... Not as innocent as you thought?... You don’t want me this way?” Jimin rubs at his wrist, red marks already forming where Yoongi held him. “Well I think we’re even now… Just remember, I’m not some _thing_ you can just have… I’m going back to rehearsal, seems you have your own problem to deal with.” Jimin walks away leaving an uncomfortable Yoongi behind.

Once back on stage Jimin goes and stands over by Taehyung, not surprised that Jungkook is avoiding his gaze. Taehyung ruffles Jimin’s hair and presses their foreheads together playfully. “You okay now Jiminie?”

“I’ll be fine Tae.” Taehyung smiles before putting his arm around Jimin’s shoulders. That’s when Jimin notices Jungkook now looking over at him and Taehyung, rolling his tongue against the inside of his cheek. Yoongi had also made it back onto the stage and was glaring over at Jungkook, shooting daggers, without the Maknae noticing of course.

Jimin lets out an aggravated sigh, here he was destroying his relationships, one BTS member at a time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh i'm sorry please don't hate me!!  
> I keep having bad things happen to Jiminie I know :(  
> Jimin is loved he just doesn't know it yet!
> 
> Feed back always appreciated.  
> <3<3


	9. Kiss

**June 2017, 21 years old**

 

Jimin found himself staring down at his sneakers in the wet grass. His brain was comfortably fuzzy from the oxycodone he had taken about an hour ago. He was tired and didn’t want to be here, he wanted to be home in Seoul, in his own room, with his own bed, where he was comfortable. The insomnia kept him awake at night while the depression made him sleepy and lethargic during the day.

Most nights Jimin would pretend to be asleep until he was sure whoever he was rooming with was sleeping soundly. Then he would sometimes stay up and read, play on his phone, use the hotel’s gym if it was 24hrs. On the nights, he was feeling particularly awake and adventurous he would quietly sneak out of his room and leave the hotel to walk around the city until he got lost. He knew it wasn’t the smartest decision since they were usually in different countries, different cities, where he didn’t know the language. But the fresh air had always helped clear his head when his thoughts got too loud for him to handle. When he was younger he would sneak out at night and go sit on the beach near his house in Busan, and since he couldn’t do that, well this was the next best thing.

It had been about a month since him and Yoongi had their last awkward encounter. Yoongi’s advances seemed to have stopped, which Jimin was grateful for. Right now, they were focusing on getting their friendship back to where it had been before Yoongi had admitted his feelings for Jimin. Jimin still felt bad he couldn’t return Yoongi’s feelings, not when his mind was usually consumed by another individual. But no matter how cute the Maknae was he was not someone Jimin should get involved with.

Jimin is dragged out of his lazy thoughts about wet grass by Sejin who had nudged his shoulder. “Jimin, are you listening?” His manager whisper shouts in his direction. 

Jimin brings his head up sharply to look at Sejin. “Huh?... Yeah, the gun goes pow, pow… Paint goes splat, thats paint ball… I think I got it.” The other members snicker and giggle at Jimin’s curt reply.

“Jimin.” Sejin scolds, which causes Jimin to bring his attention back to the man who was going over the rules with all of them. Bowing slightly, he mumbles an apology.

They were going to be having a paintball match, and no Jimin was not happy about it. Bang PD had been afraid the camera crew wasn’t getting enough footage for the DVD of them all having fun together during their busy tour schedule. So, on one of their days off while they could be having some down time they were outside in the woods, learning how to shoot at one another. To make the game even more entertaining they were going to be playing capture the flag as well. They were splitting up into two teams, with Sejin playing so the teams would be even. The first team was made up of Sejin, Taehyung, Namjoon, and Yoongi. So that left Jimin, Jin, Hoseok, and Jungkook for the other team.

Once the whistle was blown signaling the start of the match they all decided splitting up would be the best strategy. It was only about 30 minutes into the game and needless to say Jimin was done. He had already been shot twice by Tae right in the center of his chest, bright blue paint splattered across the front of his black hoodie.

As Jimin trudged along he wasn’t really paying attention, he was supposed to be looking out for the other team’s flag but he honestly couldn’t remember what color it was supposed to be. If it had been five months earlier he would have thought this was fun. He always enjoyed participating in activities with the rest of the members, whether it was in front of the camera or not. But with his unavoidable trip back to Busan creeping up on him, there wasn’t much that he found exciting these days. 

Jimin was relieved when he found a place he could hide out for a while. It was a small platform built about ten feet up, around a thick tree trunk. He climbed the ladder quickly, looking around to make sure no one else could see him. Jimin sits down, leaning his back against the tree. After placing his paintball gun down next to him he closes his eyes.

Jimin is finally dozing off when he hears someone climbing up the ladder. He slowly opens his eyes and is face to face with an out of breath Maknae.

Jungkook looks around. “Nice vantage point Hyung.” He turns back to Jimin who just hums in response. Jungkook smirks and starts chuckling when he notices the paint on Jimin’s sweatshirt.

“Taehyung.” Jimin deadpans which makes Jungkook laugh louder. A small smile tugs at the corner of Jimin’s lips.

Jungkook had been staring at Jimin all day, he couldn’t help himself. Jimin was wearing a black beanie pushed back slightly so his orange bangs could still be seen peeking out. And the older boy had been too tired this morning to put his contacts in so he was wearing his black rimmed glasses, the pair Jungkook absolutely loved. Jimin was stunning, and the younger sometimes found he couldn’t breathe around him.

Jungkook notices some of the paint had hit the side of Jimin’s neck. The blue paint standing out against Jimin’s pale smooth skin. Without thinking twice about it Jungkook kneels in front of Jimin, who had pulled his legs up against his chest to allow room for younger on the small platform. Jungkook reaches out, placing his hand on the older boy’s neck, rubbing his thumb gently against the now dry paint. He grins at Jimin before mumbling. “I think you just came up here to hide and take a nap.”

Jimin can’t help but smirk at the Maknae and his adorable bunny smile. Then Jimin slowly shakes his head, still allowing Jungkook to rub his neck because he hated to admit it was soothing.

Jungkook nervously licks his lips before blurting out. “You’re so beautiful.”

Jimin suddenly bursts into laughter because he thinks Jungkook is joking. He covers his mouth with the back of his hand and tilts his head back against the tree as he laughs, his eyes turning into crescents.

Jungkook inches closer to Jimin and carefully pulls his hand away from his mouth so he can’t hide his grin. “Don’t hide it… It’s been so long since I’ve seen you laugh like this.”

Jimin seems to regain his composure at the seriousness of Jungkook’s words. He is suddenly acutely aware of how much closer the younger is, Jungkook’s chest now pressed up against his legs. Jimin knows he should move Jungkook away from him but he’s afraid to touch the brown-haired boy.

Jimin notices Jungkook’s chest rising and falling quickly as he tries to ignore the hammering in his own chest because why was he suddenly feeling nervous around the other boy?

Jungkook’s hand finds its way to the back of Jimin’s neck and his fingers brush against the orange strands as he studies Jimin’s handsome, slightly confused face. “Jimin.” Jungkook starts slowly. “Will you let me kiss you?”

Jimin’s breath hitches at the abruptness of Jungkook’s question. The tenderness in his voice surprises Jimin because no one’s ever asked him something like that, no one’s ever cared what he wanted.

Jimin searches Jungkook’s eyes, looking for some ulterior motive. The younger only seems sincere, with dark, wide eyes staring back at him.

Jimin should say no, should put an end to this before he ends up hurting Jungkook because he knows he will. But he breathes out an “Okay.” And Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to close the distance between them.

Jimin is not surprised that Jungkook’s lips feel soft yet confident against his own, this is not Jungkook’s first kiss, and Jimin can tell. He lets Jungkook take charge for now, letting Jungkook tilt his head to the side a little to deepen the kiss.

Jungkook was only a little surprised at the hesitation of Jimin at first, the older didn’t seem to respond to the kiss until Jungkook tilted their heads to deepen it. Then he smiles ever so slightly against the older boy’s lips when he feels Jimin’s lips starting to move against his own. The orange haired boy’s lips were so soft and unsure, and Jungkook loved it. Jimin keeps Jungkook at a distance though, keeping his legs between them and he places his hands on the either side of Jungkook’s arms, hands tightening around the younger’s muscular biceps because he’s nervous. Jungkook respects Jimin’s space and doesn’t push too much, even though he wants to be oh so much closer. He wants to see his beautiful Hyung completely wrecked underneath him, moaning the youngers name while Jungkook makes him feel good and wanted because that’s what Jimin deserves.

Jimin can feel his body starting to get hot, and maybe out of nervousness or a new-found confidence he suddenly bites Jungkook’s bottom lip, earning a satisfied gasp from the younger who pulls away to look at him. Jimin flushes and adverts his eyes when he sees the way Jungkook is looking at him, eyes dark with lust, and bottom lip red from the bite Jimin had given him, Jungkook had never looked more attractive than he did in this moment.

Jungkook runs his hands through Jimin’s hair, knocking the beanie off, and causing the older boys eyes to flutter closed at the sensation of the youngers fingers against his scalp, Jungkook takes the opportunity to press his lips against Jimin’s again and when Jimin opens his mouth slightly Jungkook slips his tongue in, which causes Jimin to moan quietly at the feel of the youngers tongue pressing against his own. Jimin is surprised when Jungkook pulls away for the second time, his eyes flying open wondering if he did something wrong.

Jungkook notices the concern on Jimin’s face before smirking at him and moving to the side of Jimin’s neck without paint on it and places a kiss on his jaw. Jimin starts to tremble as Jungkook trails soft, wet kisses down his neck. Jungkook knows he shouldn’t leave any marks on Jimin, but he can’t help wanting to, he wants to mark the older boy so everyone knows Jimin is his. 

Jimin whimpers and gasps when Jungkook bites his neck a little, before gently pushing against Jungkook’s arms and moving the brown-haired boy away from him so he can catch his breath. “Slow down.” Jimin whispers gently when he sees Jungkook’s flushed face.

Jungkook groans as he takes in Jimin’s appearance, the orange haired boy looks ethereal. Plump, wet lips slightly parted while Jimin pants softly, his pupils blown wide from arousal. Jungkook’s already tightening pants getting more uncomfortable, because the sight of Jimin alone is enough to drive him crazy, he squirms a little wishing for some friction.

But he knows they should stop, Jungkook hadn’t meant for it to go this far anyways, but the taste of Jimin had been better than he anticipated. Jungkook presses their foreheads together while he catches his breath, a small smile playing at Jimin’s lips makes him grin like an idiot.

Jungkook can sense Jimin is nervous because the older boy is still trembling slightly, so Jungkook leans back a little and rubs Jimin’s arms to try to sooth him while Jimin bites his lower lip, before peeking up at Jungkook.

Jimin goes to wrap his arms around his legs but Jungkook gently grabs his hands before he can. The younger squeezes his hands gently while studying Jimin’s face. Jimin eventually has to look away because he can’t stand the intensity of Jungkook’s stare.

Jungkook starts to rub his thumbs across Jimin’s knuckles while he looks for the right words to say. “Jimin… You’re so important to me-…” Jungkook starts quietly but Jimin cuts him off suddenly.

The older boy pulls his hands out of Jungkook’s hold and stands up quickly. “Jungkook stop.” Jimin’s voice comes out harsh, causing Jungkook to carefully look up at him from his position on his knees. Jimin’s voice softens when he looks down at Jungkook. “I’m sorry, just don’t do that okay?”

Jungkook stands up now, facing Jimin. “But why?”

Jimin shakes his head, while he runs his hand through his hair before fitting the beanie back on his head. “I’ll just end up disappointing you.” 

Jungkook studies the orange haired boy because he wants to ask him why he would say something like that. He wants to know why Jimin doesn’t seem to see himself the way Jungkook does. Before he can speak Jimin is already grabbing his paintball gun and making his way down the ladder. “H-hey wait.” Jungkook stammers out.

Jimin pauses on his climb down and looks back up at Jungkook. “We still have to find the other teams flag. You realize we left Jin and Hoseok out there alone.”

Jungkook just stands there gawking at Jimin, who lets a slow sexy grin spread across his lips as he climbs down the rest of the ladder and jogs off, leaving Jungkook to stand there dumbstruck.

Jungkook sighs while he grabs his own paintball gun before climbing down from the platform. He stops, bringing his fingers to his lips and smiles to himself because he can still feel Jimin’s lips against his own. He was determined now more than ever to get closer to the older boy, and to figure out why over these past few months Jimin seemed to be pushing Jungkook and everyone else around him away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short boring chapter!  
> More exciting things will be happening in the next couple chapters I promise
> 
> Feedback in always appreciated :)


	10. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been about two weeks since their kiss, and it was all Jungkook could think about. He found himself trying to catch Jimin’s eye whenever he could. He didn’t care if they were on stage performing, or at a fan signing. Every time Jimin would glance at him he would grin like an idiot until the older boy would smirk at him or teasingly roll his eyes.

**June 2017**

 

It had been about two weeks since their kiss, and it was all Jungkook could think about. He found himself trying to catch Jimin’s eye whenever he could. He didn’t care if they were on stage performing, or at a fan signing. Every time Jimin would glance at him he would grin like an idiot until the older boy would smirk at him or teasingly roll his eyes.

Getting any alone time with the orange haired boy was painfully difficult. Especially with the on running joke the other members have about not letting Jungkook room with him while they were on tour.

They had a busy day tomorrow with an interview in the morning and a concert at night. Namjoon had wanted to go to bed early so Jungkook was trying to be nice so he had shut his light off and was laying quietly in his bed. But nearly two hours had gone by and while Namjoon was snoring, Jungkook tossed and turned. It was nearly 1am when his phone buzzed next to his head, the blue light creating a soft glow in the hotel room.

He was surprised to see the text message was from Jimin.

 **Jimin: Are you awake?**

**Jungkook: Yeah**

**Jimin: Come outside… I’m by the pool**

Jungkook couldn’t climb out of bed fast enough, he searched for his shoes in the dark, trying not to wake up Namjoon.

Jungkook quietly made his way outside to the pool. The pale white lights at the bottom of the pool cast a calm glow on Jimin, who as sitting at the edge. Wearing a plain white t-shirt and basketball shorts. He was bare foot and had his feet in the water, gently swinging his legs causing the water to ripple making the light bounce around.

Jungkook carefully sits down next to Jimin, not wanting to spook the older boy. He sits down cross-legged and peers at the water.

Jimin doesn’t look at Jungkook. “You should be sleeping.” He mumbles with a teasing tone.

Jungkook snorts and looks over at him. “I could say the same about you.” He watches as Jimin smirks, his messy orange hair falling across his forehead makes Jungkook want to run his fingers through the soft strands.

Jungkook couldn’t help noticing how tired Jimin has been looking these past few weeks. He has been so disassociated and emotionally disconnected lately that Jungkook was surprised Jimin had texted him. He could practically see the older boys mind working, Jimin’s mouth was drawn in a hard line, his brows slightly furrowed as he concentrated on the pool water. 

Jimin is quiet for several minutes before he finally glances at the brown-haired boy next to him. “Tell me something you miss about home.”

“Busan?” Jungkook questions while Jimin nods quietly. Jimin never wanted to talk about home, so the question had caught him off guard.

Jungkook smiles after a minute and turns to face Jimin. “I miss my Mom’s cooking… And when my brother and I were younger, no matter how tired my Dad was after work we’d always play catch.”

Jimin smiles softly as he listens to Jungkook. The younger notices the faraway look in Jimin’s eyes, so he reaches out and touches his arm, bringing Jimin out of his thoughts.

“I miss the beach.” Jimin replies softly.

Jungkook nods quickly, a smile growing on his face. “Then let’s all go to the beach when we get to Busan.”

Jimin finally looks at Jungkook, and the pained expression on his face worries the other boy. Jungkook wants to comfort Jimin but he’s afraid the older boy will push him away again.

After a minute of silence Jimin finally speaks. “I haven’t visited my Mother’s grave in about four years…” Jimin trails off not sure if he wants to continue.

“Well, you should go… I can go with you if you don’t want to go alone.” Jungkook finally reaches over and runs his hand up and down Jimin’s back, taking the time to memorize the taut muscles.

“I haven’t been home in four years.” Jimin mumbles mostly to himself.

Jungkook shakes his head fondly. “But we get two weeks off around the holidays. We all go home.” 

Jimin just shakes his head, not sure why he feels the need to tell Jungkook all of this. “My Dad and I… We don’t speak… I don’t go home.”

The taller boy studies Jimin’s face. “Then what do you do when we all leave? Is that why you don’t ever take the same the train as me?”

Jimin nods carefully. “Once I know everyone is gone I walk to the hotel a few blocks away, no one knows, not even Sejin. That’s why I don’t go back to the dorm… Ever since I moved to Seoul I haven’t been back to Busan… I’m not a good person Jungkook.”

Jungkook can see the tears in Jimin’s eyes and he knows there is more Jimin isn’t telling him. But how can he push for more when this is the most Jimin’s ever opened up to him about his personal life. Thinking about Jimin all alone for those two weeks while everyone else is having a good time at home with their families saddens him. Jungkook was still rubbing Jimin’s back so he slides his hand up to the nape of the older boy’s neck, and pulls him in close so he can wrap his arms around the orange haired boy, and hold him against his chest.

Jungkook rests his cheek on the top of Jimin’s head, and gently rocks them back and forth, surprised that Jimin is allowing this sort of intimacy. “I’m sorry Jimin… I don’t care what you say, next time you’re coming home with me… And I know you Jimin, you are a good person.”

“There is so much you don’t know about me.” Jimin murmurs against Jungkook’s neck. His hot breath causing goosebumps to spread over the youngers skin.

Jungkook pulls away, but only to look down at the older. “Then tell me.” He whispers.

“I-I don’t think I can…” Jimin whimpers, his voice sounding small.

“You don’t trust me Hyung?” Jungkook askes as he places both his hands on either side of Jimin’s cheeks, not wanting to break their eye contact.

Jimin licks his lips nervously. “I trust you… I just don’t think I can handle the way you’ll look at me after.” He bites his bottom lip.

Watching the orange haired boy bite his lip makes Jungkook want to kiss him again. He lets his eyes roam over Jimin’s face before stopping at his sad eyes. “I can’t imagine looking at you any other way… God Jimin, I really want to kiss you again.”

Jimin’s eyes linger on the taller boy’s lips before he whispers. “I know… But it’s late we need to get some sleep.”

Jimin pulls himself out of Jungkook’s hold and stands up. He grabs the towel he brought with him and quickly dries off his legs before heading to the door. He waits for Jungkook who grumbles the whole way inside. And after saying their goodnight’s they disappear into their separate rooms.

Jungkook lays in bed wide awake. He had spent an hour outside with Jimin and he couldn’t get the conversation they had out of his head. He knew there were things Jimin wasn’t telling him about his past. And he found himself worrying about the older boy now more than ever.

Nearly twenty minutes goes by before Jungkook grabs his phone and sends Jimin a text to see if he is still awake. After ten minutes of no answer he assumes Jimin must have fallen asleep until there is a soft knock at the door. Namjoon stirs in his bed across the room causing the younger to freeze as he starts to get up.

After he is positive Namjoon is still sound asleep Jungkook quickly makes his way to the door opening it quietly. He is met with Jimin, whose hair is still damp from his shower. He smirks when he sees Jungkook, his eyes have a mischievous glint in them, his demeanor completely different from when they were outside. 

The taller boy reaches out, grabbing a hold of the front of Jimin’s shirt and slowly pulls him inside the room. After shutting the door without making a sound he turns to Jimin making sure to keep his voice low. “I can’t sleep.”

“And why’s that?” Jimin questions, speaking just a softly as Jungkook, while Namjoon snores in the background.

 _Because I’m worried about you, and I can’t get you out of my head._ Is what Jungkook wants to say, but instead he opts for. “The bed sucks.”

Jimin hums before replying. “When’s the last time you got laid Kookie?... Ever think that’s why you can’t sleep?”

Jungkook’s mouth falls open at Jimin’s sudden questions. “What?” His voice cracks. “It’s been a-awhile, but that’s not it.”

Jimin waves his hand dismissively. “I get it, you’re 19… Sometimes jacking off doesn’t cut it.” There is enough light filtering through the thin curtains for Jungkook to see the amusement on the shorter boy’s face.

Jimin is teasing him, Jungkook wasn’t dumb, he also didn’t hate it. Jungkook swallows hard when Jimin moves closer to him, leaning up so he can whisper in his ear. “Don’t worry Jungkookie… I didn’t come here to fuck you… You wouldn’t be able to handle that, so don’t act so nervous.”

Jimin goes to step out of Jungkook’s personal space but before he can, Jungkook grabs onto his hips and pulls the smaller boy back against him.

Jungkook buries his face in the side of Jimin’s neck. “I could handle it.” He grumbles while he pouts. “Wait… Are you implying that I’d be the bottom?”

Jimin chuckles and moves away from the younger. “You’re cute, and I was just being nice… You definitely wouldn’t be able to handle fucking me.”

Jungkook’s mouth goes dry as he watches Jimin walk over to his bed, imagining the smaller underneath him has Jungkook feeling warm. Jimin seemed so unfazed, the sexual confidence rolling off him was a complete turnaround from the Jimin who didn’t seem to like the intimacy of kisses and gentle touches.

“You know…” Jimin smirks with a teasing tone. “This isn’t like at home where you can just crawl into my bed when you feel lonely and can’t sleep… Lay down.”

Jungkook complies easily, climbing onto the bed. Once he his laying on his back Jimin crawls onto the bed, sitting on Jungkook’s lap, straddling him. Jungkook instinctively places his hands on Jimin’s strong thighs, enjoying the weight of Jimin on top of him. He rubs his hands up and down the olders thighs, pushing Jimin’s shorts higher up his legs.

A smile tugs at the corner of Jimin’s lips when he can feel through the thin material of Jungkook’s PJ bottoms that he is already half hard. Jimin leans down as Jungkook’s hands slide up to his waist. “Thinking about fucking me has you all excited already?”

“Y-yes…” Jungkook stammers out, he didn’t see a point in lying to Jimin when he was already in this position.

Jimin looks pleased with himself as he sits back up on Jungkook’s lap, he removes the youngers hands from his hips. “I have one rule… No touching, got it?”

Once Jungkook nods hesitantly, Jimin starts to rock back and forth on top of him, he grinds down against Jungkook which causes the taller of the two to bite back a moan and push his hips up against Jimin.

Jimin grabs onto Jungkook’s hips holding him still while he continues to move against him. Jimin sets an agonizing pace, with the right amount of friction that makes Jungkook a panting mess within minutes. When Jungkook lets out a moan Jimin shushes him softly.

Jimin looks beautiful on top of Jungkook, he whimpers as he watches Jimin continue to roll his hips, Jimin clearly knows how to use his body, and he does it well.

Jungkook wonders what Jimin’s abs look like as he moves against him, he can’t help himself and he reaches up, easily sliding his hands up Jimin’s loose shirt and letting his fingers dance across Jimin’s firm stomach.

Jimin smacks Jungkook’s hands away. “What did I say?” He growls quietly.

Jungkook lets out a whine at the lack of touch. Jimin seems to sense this because after a minute he pulls his shirt off over his head and tosses it to the side. Jungkook has to clutch the sheets between his fists to refrain from touching Jimin. Seeing the older shirtless is always a sight, Jimin may be on the slimmer side but he didn’t lack any definition to his muscles. Jungkook’s eyes graze over Jimin’s strong chest, his abdomen, and linger on his slim hips.

Jungkook is close, Jimin seems to know this because he slows his pace down, causing Jungkook to whimper at the lack of pressure on his groin.

Jimin notices Jungkook shuts his eyes tightly as his panting increases. He reaches down grabbing a hold of the back of Jungkook’s neck, he pulls the younger up into a sitting position. Jimin slowly grinds against him, his own breathing becoming faster as he feels his arousal push against Jungkook’s stomach.

Jungkook moves against Jimin, no longer able to sit still, the older doesn’t protest. Jimin leans close to Jungkook’s ear. “You’re close, I can tell.” Jimin takes Jungkook’s ear lobe between his teeth biting down gently. 

Jungkook groans softly as he bucks underneath the smaller boy. Jimin leans back a little, picking up his pace again, he cards his fingers through Jungkook’s hair giving a slight tug. “Look at me Jungkook… I want to see your face when I make you come.”

Those words are Jungkook’s undoing, all he can do is groan Jimin’s name repeatedly as he comes hard. Jimin can’t pretend that he’s not affected by the sight of Jungkook finding his release. Jimin watches as the younger bites his bottom lip, chest heaving, trying to keep from moaning too loudly. Hearing his own name fall from Jungkook’s lips like it’s the only word he knows anymore makes Jimin want to groan. 

Jungkook buries his face in Jimin’s neck while he comes down from his orgasm. It only takes him a minute to realize Jimin’s arousal is still pressed between them untouched. He slides his hands down Jimin’s torso, but before he can reach the waist band of Jimin’s shorts the older grabs onto his hands stopping him. “But Jimin, you’re still-.”

Jimin shakes his head cutting Jungkook off by placing a chaste kiss on his lips. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me… I did this for you.”

Jimin slides off Jungkook’s lap assuming the younger would want to clean himself up, but is surprised when Jungkook lays down pulling Jimin with him. “Don’t run away.”

Jimin lies still as the younger tangles their legs together, his head resting on Jimin’s chest. “Jimin I-.” Jungkook starts sleepily.

“Shhh… Go to sleep.” Jimin starts to run his fingers through Jungkook’s brown hair. It doesn’t take long for the younger to fall asleep. Jimin stares up at the ceiling. _What the fuck am I doing?_ Jimin scolds himself in his head before closing his eyes chasing after his own sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> I love reading everyone's comments, it makes me want to keep writing and feedback is always appreciated!
> 
> :)


	11. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin had to admit he hadn’t been feeling good the past couple of days. He had just chalked it up to all the traveling, it was common for them to catch a cold occasionally. Jin was expressing his concern by checking up on his food consumption, which was enough to make Jimin want to scream.

**June 2017**

 

Jungkook was not surprised when he woke up alone the next morning. What he didn’t expect was to be hit in the face by a pillow. He sits up ripping the pillow away from his face and looks around for its owner.

He spots Namjoon standing in the doorway of the bathroom brushing his teeth. “What the hell Hyung!” Jungkook throws the pillow back at Namjoon, who merely points at Jungkook before disappearing back into the bathroom to rinse.

Namjoon starts going through his suitcase looking for a shirt to change into. “Don’t ‘Hyung’ me!” He shoots back at the younger. He eventually gives up on looking for a shirt and sits down on his bed, while Jungkook stares blankly at him.

Namjoon takes a deep breath. “Kook, you know I’m an open-minded person. I don’t care who you’re with, you should be with whoever makes you happy.”

“Wait, hold on a second…” Jungkook tries to interrupt but Namjoon keeps talking.

“So, if you and Jimin want to, you know… It’s cool.” Namjoon continues.

“Oh my God!” Jungkook whines trying to get Namjoon to stop talking, while he starts to feel his face burn.

“Just, don’t do any weird stuff with me around, you two are like my little brothers.” Namjoon rushes through his last sentence.

While a mortified Jungkook hides his face in one of his pillows. “Hyung I thought you were asleep!”

“Well I was!… You were loud as hell.” Namjoon gets up and pulls the pillow off Jungkook’s face. “If you and Jimin are together I’m happy for you… I definitely think you should tell the rest of the guys though.” 

Jungkook sits up shaking his head. “That’s the thing, we’re not together, I don’t know what we are… Every time I try to talk to him about it he changes the subject, pushes me away or tries to run away… I’m really worried about him Hyung.”

Namjoon nods carefully. “I know… I am too. I think everyone is in their own way.”

Jungkook sighs. “Taehyung told me he heard you and Jin-Hyung talking to Sejin about Jimin seeing a therapist when the tour is over?”

Namjoon runs his hands through his messy hair. “Yeah, well Jin and I were just expressing some concerns, but Sejin and Bang PD think it’s a good idea… I’m starting to agree with them.”

“Going back to Busan has his head all messed up… His relationship with his father is worse than we thought.” When Namjoon doesn’t say anything and just looks at him confused Jungkook continues. “Jimin and his father don’t speak anymore.” Jungkook doesn’t tell Namjoon about the fact that Jimin hasn’t been home since he moved to Seoul. He figures Jimin had told him in confidence and wanted to keep it that way.

Namjoon sighs loudly. “Well shit… I didn’t know that.” He reaches over and squeezes Jungkook’s shoulder. “Hey, he’s going to be okay, he’s got all of us.”

Jungkook smiles a little while he nods. But he can’t ignore the doubt that’s eating at him.

 

Jimin skillfully avoided Jungkook for the rest of the day. He knew the younger was going to want to talk to him about what happened between them the night before. But Jimin didn’t have much to say on the matter. He wasn’t sure if Jungkook regretted what they did, and part of him was afraid to find out, so avoidance was his best bet.

So, as they were finishing getting ready in the large dressing room of the venue, Jimin sat on one of the couches with Tae, who was laying down with his head on Jimin’s thigh while he played on his phone.

Jimin closes his eyes hoping for a quick nap before they go on stage. He had gone to the bathroom a little while ago to take a few of the Oxycodone, his head was humming with drowsiness. What had started out as something he only took once or twice a day had quickly escalated into him using every two or three hours. He had to steal the rest of Sejin’s prescription, and he didn’t have much left.

As Jimin wondered what he would do when he ran out of the pills he feels someone repeatedly poking his cheek. When he finally pries his heavy eyelids open he has a grinning Hoseok standing over him. Hoseok is also holding a hand-held camcorder that is about two inches from Jimin’s face.

Jimin tries his best not to sigh as Hoseok starts to pinch his cheek.

“Aww look at Jiminie he’s always so cute!” Hoseok cheerfully states in front of the camera, before frowning. “Are you feeling okay Jimin? You’re pretty warm.” Hoseok places his palm on Jimin’s forehead before the younger smacks his hand away and moves the camera away from his face.

“I’m fine Hyung… Go film Yoongi-Hyung, yeah?” Hoseok seems to take the hint and leaves Jimin alone.

“You have been looking a little pale.” Tae claims from his position on Jimin’s lap.

Jimin glances down before flicking Taehyung in the forehead. “Must be getting a cold, now shush.” He mumbles before closing his eyes again.

Jimin had to admit he hadn’t been feeling good the past couple of days. He had just chalked it up to all the traveling, it was common for them to catch a cold occasionally. Jin was expressing his concern by checking up on his food consumption, which was enough to make Jimin want to scream.

 

Jimin stood on stage as they said their final goodbyes to the fans who cheered loudly. The lights on the stage felt too hot against his skin, he felt sweatier than usual, so he brings a shaky hand up to wipe his forehead. His head was starting to spin, maybe he just needed some water. Jimin was usually the last one off the stage at the end of a show, but not tonight, he gives one last final wave before he turns to head back stage. He felt like he was going to be sick, his stomach churned as a wave of nausea made him groan quietly. His vision blurs as he stumbles slightly, before losing his balance completely and collapsing, he is too weak to catch himself, so his head hits the stage hard.

Jungkook hears a collective gasp from the hushed crowd, he turns and sees Jimin lying motionless on the stage. He rushes over and kneels next to the older, Jimin is looking at him with unfocused, hazy eyes.

Jimin sees Jungkook’s handsome face hovering above his. The brown-haired boy’s lips are moving, and his eyes flash with worry but Jimin can’t hear him. He feels like he his underwater, he wants to take a deep breath, but his lungs feel constricted, and everything seems to be moving in slow motion.

Jimin suddenly feels like he is floating as he is being lifted off the stage floor. _When did Jungkookie get so strong?_ Jimin wonders when he realizes he is in Jungkook’s arms.

Jungkook cradles the smaller boy against his chest. He had picked Jimin up bridal style because the only thing he cared about was getting Jimin off the stage, away the prying eyes of the fans and their iPhones.

Jungkook starts to head back stage, aware that the other members are close behind him trying not to make a scene. But Jungkook could careless, his only concern is the small Mochi in his arms

Jungkook brings his head closer to Jimin when he sees his lips moving. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry.” Jimin keeps repeating himself as his eyelids get to too heavy to keep open any longer.

“Shh it’s okay, why are you sorry?... I’ve got you Jimin it’s going to be okay.” Jungkook watches as Jimin’s eyes flutter closed and panic sets in. He finally makes it backstage and is met with Sejin, who has his phone out, ready to call an ambulance.

“What the hell happened!?” Sejin can’t help but shout as his looks over Jimin in Jungkook’s arms.

“H-help him, He’s burning up S-Sejin.” Jungkook stammers out around the lump in his own throat. Sejin nods and starts dialing on his phone right away.

The rest of the members crowd around Jungkook and Jimin. Taehyung reaches over brushing Jimin’s sweaty hair off his forehead. Jungkook wants to tell Tae not to touch him but he bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself.

“Hey Kook why don’t you lay him down, we can put my jacket under his head.” Yoongi says, trying to be helpful as he peers at Jimin nervously.

“No!” Jungkook shouts a little firmer than he intended. “Everyone back up, and stop touching him, I’m not putting him down until the paramedics get here.” He rambles on as he holds Jimin tighter against his chest, while the other members glance nervously at each other hoping the paramedics arrive soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Sorry this chapter was a little short.  
> I enjoy reading your comments, and feedback is always appreciated.  
> :)
> 
> hope of update soon!


	12. Withdrawal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The smell of the antiseptics stung his nose, he doesn’t have to open his eyes to know where he is. The fucking hospital, oh how Jimin hated hospitals, hated them almost as much as he missed his mother.

The rest of the night was a blur. Jungkook could remember when the paramedics arrived backstage. He could remember not wanting to let go of Jimin, especially when the paramedics started taking his vitals, and checking to see how responsive he was. They had Jimin laid out on the stretcher, his head turned awkwardly to one side, his neck hyperextended. Sejin stood close by, answering any medical questions about Jimin the best he could.

Jungkook could remember as fast as the paramedics had arrived they were leaving, taking Jimin with them. Sejin had to go to the hospital with Jimin, someone had to. Jungkook could barely remember Sejin quickly speaking to them, telling them all to wait here, someone from their staff was going to be driving them back to the hotel soon.

Jungkook refused to just sit around while they waited to be driven back to the hotel. Jungkook quickly follows Sejin and the paramedics outside, followed closely by Taehyung, Jin, and Namjoon. Hoseok and Yoongi quietly stayed behind, dealing with the shock of the situation by themselves.

The ambulance is parked at one of the back entrances, to avoid the crowd as much as possible. The four of them stand close together while Jimin is situated in the ambulance and Sejin yells at them to get back inside. Jungkook ignores him, never taking his eyes off Jimin.

He hates how small Jimin looks, the bright; harsh lights of the interior of the ambulance making him appear pale. One of the paramedics was checking Jimin’s blood pressure for the second time, while the other was fitting an oxygen mask to his face. Jungkook was suddenly approaching the ambulance, he just wanted Jimin to be okay, all the he wanted was for Jimin to open his eyes.

“Is he going to be okay?” Jungkook askes quietly the first time. “Is he going to be okay!?”

The two paramedics ignore him, only sparing Sejin a glance, who is trying to forcefully move Jungkook away from the back of the ambulance. Of course, the paramedics were ignoring him, Jungkook almost forgot they were in Japan, the paramedics are Japanese, they had no idea what Jungkook is saying, thankfully Sejin on the other hand knows Japanese well.

Suddenly there are a pair of firm arms wrapped around Jungkook’s chest, holding him back while Sejin climbs into the ambulance, Jungkook isn’t sure if they belong to Jin or Namjoon, but he doesn’t care. 

“Namjoon! I’ll be in touch, and make sure everyone stays off social media for the rest of the night.” Namjoon only nods silently at Sejin’s request.

With that the ambulance doors are shutting in Jungkook’s face, and soon after that the ambulance is pulling away quickly. Taehyung is suddenly standing in front of Jungkook, blocking his view of the disappearing tail lights. Tae reaches up wiping Jungkook’s wet cheeks ignoring his own, Jungkook can’t remember when he had started crying.

“Jiminie’s going to be okay.” Taehyung tries to add softly, hoping he believes it himself. 

 

The next morning everyone was up early, mainly from the lack of sleep, but they also had a flight that was leaving in two hours, with six more shows left in Japan their schedule was tight. All the members were crowded in Namjoon and Jungkook’s shared hotel room while Namjoon spoke with Sejin over the phone.

After hanging up with their manager Namjoon smiles reassuringly. “The doctors are positive that Jimin will be okay.” Everyone lets out a collective breath they all seemed to be holding. Namjoon’s smile falters as he continues though. “He’s not awake yet, Sejin says its fatigue and a concussion from when he fainted and hit his head… So, he’s going to be there for a least a few days. So, when Jimin’s awake and feeling better, and is cleared to fly, Sejin says he is hoping to meet us in Saitama.”

Jungkook glares. “We’re not cancelling any of the shows?” He couldn’t imagine going any where without Jimin. If he could have his way he would be at the hospital waiting for Jimin to wake up.

Namjoon glances around the room carefully before speaking. “No… I guess Sejin spoke to Bang PD late last night to let him know what was going on, and Bang PD wants us to stay on schedule and continue with the concerts… I mean they’re already sold out.”

“Who cares if they’re all sold out!” Jungkook cuts him off angrily.

Taehyung also chimes in. “I mean sure, we’ve done a few small performances without all seven of us, but a whole concert?”

“Yeah, and how many shows is Jimin going to miss?” Hoseok questions from his spot near the window.

“And we have a fan signing in two days, that is not going to go over well if he’s not there.” Yoongi adds quietly.

Namjoon seems to look at Jin for help but he only stands quietly by the door. “Everyone slow down!... I’m just as upset as the rest of you okay? I’m only the messenger. I get it, we’re all worried, and yes fans are going to have questions. We should all just stay off social media for a little while.”

Before anyone could say anything else, there is a knock at the door and Sejin’s assistant pokes her head in the room. Ignoring the tension, she reminds all of them they have to leave for the airport shortly and to make sure they are all packed.

 

The smell of the antiseptics stung his nose, he doesn’t have to open his eyes to know where he is. The fucking hospital, oh how Jimin hated hospitals, hated them almost as much as he missed his mother. Wondered how different things would have been if they had never gotten into that car accident, if his father still loved him, and if Mr. Kim hadn’t stolen his innocence at the age of ten. He probably wouldn’t have become an idol, he would be in college, studying dance most likely. 

Every joint in his body ached, the dull pain in his head throbbed in time to the beep of his heart rate monitor. The room is spinning and he hadn’t even opened his eyes yet. He recognized the symptoms, he had dealt with all of this once before, withdrawal. Jimin wondered how long it had been since he had his last Oxy, hoping he must have gotten through the worse of the withdrawal symptoms while he was unconscious, but he was doubting it.

Finally deciding to open his eyes, he looks around the room without moving his head too much. Jimin notices Sejin sleeping in an arm chair in the corner of the room. As Jimin weakly pulls the oxygen mask off his face, and tries to sit up, the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor becomes louder due to his sudden movements, causing Sejin to wake up suddenly, lurching forward in his chair almost falling over.

In a few minutes a nurse and doctor both make their way in the room and begin checking on Jimin. Sejin diligently translates the questions the doctor is asking. Once Jimin is done speaking with the doctor, and his annoyingly thorough examination is over, he is left alone with Sejin, who pulls the chair he was sleeping on closer to Jimin’s bed.

“You were unconscious for over 24 hours.” Sejin states absent mindedly when the silence between them stretches for too long, Jimin glances over at him only looking slightly surprised, before he nods and goes back to fidgeting with the thin sheet that had pooled around his waist. He was sitting up comfortably in the bed for now, propped up with pillows, the hospital gown he is wearing too big for him, nearly hanging off one of his shoulders. 

“Are you really feeling okay?” Sejin askes after another minute goes by. Jimin only nods and glances out the window. “The guys will be happy to know you’re awake… Everyone is really worried about you.” Jimin glances over at Sejin again, not really wanting to be reminded of how much he fucked up.

“I passed out on stage in front of thousands of fans, I made an ass out of myself and the rest of BTS, no one should be worried about me.” Jimin replies bitterly, Sejin sighs and shakes his head a little.

Sejin’s tone turns serious as he looks over Jimin’s small frame. “Exhaustion, malnutrition…” He names some of the symptoms the doctor had discussed with them. “Jimin, why didn’t you tell me you weren’t feeling good?... That you were having some trouble?” 

Jimin’s head hangs low, glancing down at where the IV sits in his arm pumping his body with fluids. “How long do I have to stay here?” Is the only thing he can bring himself to ask.

Sejin pauses. “Two more days at least.”

Jimin closes his eyes tightly, panic rising in his chest at the thought of having to stay in the hospital any longer. When he opens his eyes Sejin looks concerned. “Jimin there’s something else… But I think you already know… The doctor told me they found large traces of Oxycodone in your system after looking through your bloodwork. Amounts that wouldn’t be found in someone who was taking the medication responsibly. And last time I checked you haven’t been prescribed any pain killers recently.” Sejin continues when Jimin refuses to say anything. “Where did you get the pills?”

Jimin can’t bring himself to look at Sejin. “You know where.” He mumbles quietly after a moment.

Sejin can’t hide the irritation in his voice. “I need you to say it Jimin… Where did you get the pills?”

Jimin finally brings his head up and meets Sejin’s eyes. “You… I took the pills from you.”

Sejin inhales sharply, and releases the breath slowly. “How long?”

“A couple months…” Jimin answers slowly. The two of them sit in silence for several long minutes. “…So now what?... I get sent back to Seoul? I get kicked out of BTS?... Tell me.”

“You’re not getting kicked out.” Sejin replies calmly. “But against my better judgement Bang PD wants you to stay on the tour, he thinks it will be too much bad publicity to suddenly send you back to Seoul… But I think the only way to help you is to get you back to Seoul, so you can start seeing a therapist, you’ve been spiraling ever since the start of this tour. It’s obviously not good for you but you won’t tell me why.”

Jimin can’t help that he is starting to become agitated, not sure if it because he hasn’t had any pills in way too fucking long for his liking, or the fact Sejin is starting to pry. “Look, I slipped up, it won’t happen again.”

Sejin looks confused. “You slipped up?... Have you had an issue with drugs in the past?”

Jimin rubs his face roughly, getting angry at himself for not being more careful with his words. “I was younger okay? But I quit…on my own… I wasn’t in some fucking hospital.”

“ _Jesus_ Jimin.” Sejin hisses. The older man stands up and starts to pace back and forth. Jimin can’t help being a little jealous that Sejin gets to move around freely, while he is stuck lying in bed. “I don’t even know what to say to you right now…” Sejin stops pacing to stare over at Jimin. “I have to admit I’m angry and disappointed with you… I’m angry because you stole my medication, I’m angry you put yourself and your health at risk… I’m angry you have a past issue of drug abuse apparently!” Sejin stops himself before he goes too far, he knows yelling at Jimin probably isn’t the best approach right now when Jimin already looks so fragile and small like he might break at any second.

Sejin sits back down in the chair near Jimin’s bed and he watches Jimin stare down at his own hands. “Listen Jimin, I’m not going to single you out in front of the other guys… But you understand I’m going to have to start checking yours and everyone’s bags on a regular basis.”

Jimin can’t help rolling his eyes at the statement. “Trust me the rest of the guys have nothing to do with this… none of them know what I was doing.”

“Trust you?... I thought I could trust you Jimin, that’s why we are in this situation now isn’t it?… I need to get myself some coffee and you need rest. I’ll be back later to check on you.” Sejin leaves quickly without another word, leaving Jimin to sulk alone in his hospital room. 

 

Jimin stood awkwardly in his hotel room with Sejin, the two had barely spoken since he had first woken up in the hospital and that been three days ago. They had finally arrived at the hotel the rest of members and staff were staying at. It had been the longest three days of Jimin’s life, he had gone through most of his withdrawal at the hospital under the supervision of the doctors. The muscle aches, fever, and vomiting were behind him, while the anxiety and the insomnia were all too real. He had called Namjoon at some point when he was feeling better to let everyone know how he was doing. The phone call had consisted of Jimin trying to tell them all that he was okay, while Taehyung and Hoseok screamed in the background about how much they missed him, Namjoon and Jin trying to ask him actual medical questions to see if he was doing better. And Jungkook and Yoongi yelling at Tae and Hobie because they couldn’t hear Jimin, he didn’t realize how much he missed the six of them until he had to hang up the phone because a doctor had come into his room.

So as he fiddled with his suitcase he couldn’t help being a little nervous, Sejin had figured it would be best if Jimin had his own hotel room for a little while so he could still get some rest. Because even though he had been discharged from the hospital in good standing and was okay to fly, the doctor and Bang PD agreed to have Jimin sit out the next two shows, which was driving Jimin nuts because he was already feeling useless. 

Jimin runs his hands through his hair nervously, smoothing his hands over his t-shirt while he waits for Sejin, who had gone to get the rest of the members because they were supposed to be having a meeting. Jimin was startled out of his thoughts when an excited Taehyung burst through the hotel room door practically knocking Jimin over with his hug. Through the excitement and the chatter Jimin locks eyes with Jungkook, the younger offers a small smile while he makes his way over to stand next to Jimin. Jungkook really wanted to pull Jimin close and tell the older how much he had been worried about him, but he refrained because of how serious Jimin and Sejin looked.

“Alright, everyone settle down.” Sejin speaks loudly and waits until the excitement quiets down before speaking again. “As you can see Jimin will be staying in his own room for now, just so he can quietly get some rest. Under the doctor’s recommendation Jimin won’t be performing at the next two shows.” 

Jungkook reaches over gently touching Jimin’s arm when he sees the older visibly cringe when everyone groans at Sejin’s news. Hoping to silently tell Jimin not to worry, and that everything was going to be okay.

“Also, a new rule is going to be implicated… Myself and my assistant will be checking your suitcases and any of your carry-on’s randomly” Sejin breaks the next set of big news bluntly, as if he had been practicing what he was going to say.

The confusion and silence only lasts a split second before everyone starts arguing amongst themselves. “What the hell? Why?” Taehyung askes Sejin.

“We hardly have any privacy as it is, this is bullshit… What is Bang PD’s problem?” Yoongi questions angrily.

Sejin seems to stumble with his well-rehearsed plan, not knowing what to say next, he doesn’t want to expose Jimin, but he also doesn’t know what to say to help the rest of the members understand.

“I-It’s because of me...It’s my fault.” Jimin surprises everyone when he speaks up, practically hiding behind Jungkook’s broad shoulders. Jimin feels his face burn as he tries to swallow the lump forming in his throat, while the room becomes quiet, clearly everyone waiting for him to explain himself.

“I stole Sejin’s pain pills… And I took them all... And I would do it again if I could.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being so patient with my updates sorry they're not quicker!  
> Feedback is always appreciated.
> 
> I hope everyone is enjoying this far!
> 
> <3 <3 <3


	13. Truth I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin bites his bottom lip hard to hold back a sob threatening to escape his throat as he watches Jungkook leave and the door finally shuts.

“I stole Sejin’s pain pills… And I took them all... And I would do it again if I could.” The confession hangs in the air. Jimin shifts from one foot to the next, nervousness rolling off him in waves. Jungkook takes a step away from Jimin only to turn so he can look at him better. Jimin scratches at his forearm idly, with the absence of Jungkook standing so close he feels exposed. 

“Jimin-…” Sejin warns quietly but Jimin shakes his head.

“No, they should know...I’ve been lying a lot.” Jimin looks away from Sejin to face the rest of the members while he nervously tugs at the hem of his t-shirt around his neck because he suddenly finds it difficult to breathe. “I was 14 when I tried drugs for the first time. Thought it was no big deal because they were only pills… But I quickly realized how great I felt after I took a couple, I felt relaxed, like I could get through anything. They helped me cope with my relationship with my father, my lack of friends in school. I started to chase the high, taking the pills more often, until it became an addiction I suppose. I’ve never said any of this out loud and I feel so pathetic. Once I got the final call from Big Hit, that they wanted me to move to Seoul I stopped completely. That’s why I was sick when I first moved into the dorm, I lied and said I was just homesick as an excuse to close myself up in my room…”

Jimin takes a deep breath and forces himself to make eye contact with all the members. Jin and Hoseok look back at Jimin with sad, sympathetic eyes. The disappointment in Namjoon’s eyes is hard to stomach, along with Yoongi who looks not only disappointed but angry. Taehyung has a mix of shock and confusion across his features, almost as if he doesn’t believe what Jimin is saying. He can’t bring himself to look at Jungkook, realizing suddenly that he cares too much about what the younger thinks of him. He doesn’t think he can handle seeing disappointment in Jungkook’s eyes, not directed at him.

Jimin continues carefully. “I shouldn’t have taken the pills from Sejin, I’m sorry.”

“But why did you do it Jimin?... Why now?” Namjoon questions.

“I-I don’t know…They were just there, and it seemed easy.” Jimin fidgets uncomfortably.

Yoongi scoffs from the other side of the room, bringing Jimin’s attention to the older. “That’s a bullshit answer…And you’re not the only one whose had it tough.” 

Jimin seems to shrink under Yoongi’s coldness. “I know it’s not an excuse.” He replies quietly. “I know what it could mean for the group if it got out about the drugs-.”

Yoongi cuts Jimin off. “It doesn’t seem like you give a crap, it’s honestly the most selfish thing you’ve ever done.”

“Yoongi.” Jin scolds softly.

“No Hyung.” Yoongi dismisses Jin quickly, then looks around the room at everyone else who doesn’t seem to know what to say. “Now we have to tip-toe around Jimin for I don’t know fear he might relapse _again_? He’s the one that messed up, now we all have suffer because of it…We all worked hard to get here, I’m not willing to risk that, and if this gets out to the public we’re fucked!”

“Hey!... Yoongi enough, we’re not holding this meeting, so you can yell at Jimin. Jimin decided to confide in all of you, please be adults about it.” Sejin replies sternly to Yoongi who crosses his arms over his chest and grumbles to himself.

Jimin stares down at the ground, holding back tears because he is already embarrassed enough. “I’m sorry.” He mumbles to all of them.

Sejin sighs, trying to regain control of the situation. “Alright everyone needs to clear their heads, its getting late. Let’s let Jimin get some rest, everyone out… This has all been a lot to process for everyone, so if any of you need to talk about anything you can speak with me, got it?” 

Sejin goes and stands by the door, holding the door open so they can file out. Yoongi leaves quickly, followed by Namjoon, who shoots a sympathetic glance towards Jimin but offers nothing else. Jin walks up to Jimin who still has his head low, adverting his eyes, he reaches out and gives Jimin’s shoulders a good reassuring squeeze. “Don’t let him get to you, thank you for telling us Jimin.”

Jimin doesn’t look up as Jin leaves, Hoseok approaches him next, patting his head affectionately. “We still love you Jiminie.” Taehyung sits down on Jimin’s bed as Hoseok leaves, not making a move to leave.

Jimin finally looks up at Jungkook, who has his back to him, facing the door. “…Jungkook?” Jimin’s trembling voice breaks Jungkook out of his thoughts, he turns to face the smaller. His fists clench at his sides when he sees Jimin’s wide, teary eyes, anger at Yoongi keeps Jungkook quiet though.

“Say s-something…” Jimin’s voice is barely above a whisper now, sounding like he might cry any second.

Jungkook glances towards the door again and then looks back at Jimin. “There’s something I need to do.” Jungkook leaves without another word.

Jimin bites his bottom lip hard to hold back a sob threatening to escape his throat as he watches Jungkook leave and the door finally shuts. Jimin collects himself for a couple minutes before turning his head in Tae’s direction. “You don’t have to stay.”

“I want to” Tae replies as he simply shrugs, getting comfy on Jimin’s bed.

Jimin’s shoulders slump as he finally turns to face Taehyung. “They hate me… Yoongi and Namjoon, did you see their faces? They were so angry and _disappointed_... And Jungkook, do you think he hates me Tae, he didn’t say anything.”

“No, Jungkook doesn’t hate you… No one hates you Jimin. I think everyone is just a little surprised.” Taehyung replies as he pats the spot next to him on the bed, hoping Jimin will sit down.

Jimin eyes the spot warily before sitting down. “I’m so sorry Tae.” Jimin puts his head in his hands, leaning forward so his elbows rest on his thighs. “I can only imagine what you think of me now.”

“Well… I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little hurt, I tell you everything, ya know. You’re my best friend Jimin...I just wish you were comfortable enough to tell me everything, especially if you needed help.” Taehyung pauses for a moment getting lost in his own thoughts, Jimin remains completely still next to him. “You mentioned your relationship with your Dad.”

Jimin tries to brush off the topic, he stands up and goes over to his suitcase to dig out his phone charger because Sejin had just given him his phone back earlier today. He notices Taehyung just watching him carefully. “We don’t really talk that much.” Jimin merely shrugs, hoping Tae will drop the subject.

“Jimin, I may act like a goofball most of the time but I’m not naïve… You started taking drugs at 14 years old, sounds like something a little more serious than just not really talking to your Dad.” Taehyung gauges Jimin’s reaction, but Jimin remains unaffected, still looking for his phone charger, so Taehyung continues. “I had a friend in High School, his step-dad was a real dick, liked to beat him up no reason... No one ever knew how hard he had it, until he tried to take his own life one day.”

This seems to strike a nerve with Jimin, he pauses while looking in his suit case. He turns to face Taehyung, opening and closing his mouth, for a minute not able to find the words. “I’m not sure what you’re looking for me to say Taehyung.”

Tae smiles patiently while patting the spot next to him on the bed. “You don’t have to say anything right now Jiminie, I just want you to know that it’s okay… You can talk to me whenever you are ready, or not… It’s okay.”

Jimin seems to visibly relax when Taehyung doesn’t push the subject any further. He gives up on looking for his phone charger and climbs onto the bed next to the taller. Tae turns the TV on and starts flipping through the channels, stopping at what looks like some sappy romantic drama, he lies down getting comfortable before pulling Jimin down next to him. Jimin doesn’t protest as he lays down next to Taehyung, allowing himself to enjoy his friends quiet company.

 

Jungkook was happy he was rooming with Yoongi, it made it much easier to get the older alone after he stormed off after their discussion with Jimin and Sejin. Jungkook makes his way into his room after speaking with Jin outside in the hall briefly. Jungkook nearly slams the door behind him but Yoongi doesn’t seem fazed.

“You’re a real asshole sometimes you know that?” Jungkook growls.

Yoongi rolls his eyes before turning to Jungkook. “Me?... No Jungkook, he’s the asshole.” Jungkook glares, realizing he is talking about Jimin.

“Well don’t forget it’s Jimin for god’s sake, our friend, he’s not out there trying to fuck up your career or anyone else’s.” Jungkook clenches his fists at his sides.

“Maybe not.” Yoongi replies. “But it’s about trust… Don’t you remember when this all started for us? We sat down, and all agreed that we were going be honest with each other… That if we had anything that could blow up in our faces later, we would be honest about it… And don’t act like this doesn’t affect all of us Jungkook, Jimin’s been pushing us all away for a while now. He’s been letting himself wither away, pushing himself too hard, not sleeping enough, he hardly eats, apparently taking drugs, and we’re all just supposed to act like that’s okay. Him fainting at that show was just the breaking point.”

Jungkook’s expression softens a little after realizing that Yoongi’s anger towards Jimin is mainly because he is worried about him. “Well you didn’t have to speak to him like that, I get you’re worried… There’s things you don’t know about Jimin, why he’s the way he is, there’s more to him. He’s not just pushing people away for no reason.”

“Just be careful Jungkook… Don’t let yourself get hurt. I get it ya know, Jimin has something about him that pulls people in. But exactly what you said, he is pushing people away for a reason.” Yoongi sits down on his bed.

Jungkook glares again. “I’m not going to give up on him just because it seems easier… And you don’t need to keep treating him like shit over something he was brave enough to tell us. We don’t need that shit right now, especially Jimin. We want him to get better don’t we.” Yoongi just watches Jungkook closely as he turns to leave.

“So, I assume you won’t be sleeping in here tonight?... I’d like to know in case I want to sleep naked.” Yoongi chuckles as Jungkook casually flips him off before letting the door shut behind him. 

 

Jungkook goes back to Jimin’s room, pausing in front of the door, taking a deep breath before he knocks because he doesn’t want to go in there all pissed off from his talk with Yoongi. 

Jungkook isn’t surprised when Taehyung is the one that answers the door, Jungkook peeks around him as the older steps outside the room noticing Jimin is laying on his bed facing away from the door. He wonders if maybe Jimin had fallen asleep while Tae lets the door shut softly.

“I was wondering when you’d be back.” Taehyung crosses his arms over his chest. “He’s awake still, I don’t think he’ll be getting much sleep tonight.”

“I wasn’t going to let Yoongi talk to Jimin like that and not do anything about it.” Jungkook watches as Tae leans against the door jamb protectively blocking Jungkook from getting into the room.

“Yeah, well you didn’t see his face when you just left earlier, without saying a word, you barely looked at him… Did you ever think he doesn’t need you to protect him but to just be there with him?” Jungkook knows Taehyung is right, even though he doesn’t want to admit it.

Jungkook rubs the back of his neck. “Well can I have your room key then? I don’t really want to go back to mine, I kind of bit Yoongi’s head off and he said he might sleep naked… Someone should stay with Jimin.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes before pushing a room key card against Jungkook’s chest. “Just be there for him… And maybe see if he will eat some breakfast tomorrow morning, order something from room service, he likes pancakes.”

Jungkook watches as Tae disappears into the room across the hall before making his way into Jimin’s room. The only light is coming from the TV which looks like a bad movie is playing, Jimin is laying on his side not even watching the TV.

 

Jimin had refused to get up when he heard the knock on the door, thankful that Tae had gotten up to answer it. He assumes it is just Taehyung coming back into the room when he hears the door shut softly, and feels the bed dip. He realizes quickly that it is not Taehyung when he feels arms slip around his waist and a firm chest press against his back. Jungkook notices Jimin is on his phone on Twitter, looking at a video a fan had posted of him fainting at the concert.

“You came back.” Jimin states softly without turning around to face Jungkook. Jungkook reaches over and gently takes the phone out of Jimin’s hand when he starts watching the video again.

Jungkook hums burying his nose in Jimin’s hair, enjoying the faint smell of the shampoo he used this morning and his natural scent. “I’m sorry I left… Why did you let Yoongi speak to you like that?”

Jimin shrugs against Jungkook’s chest. “He had the right to say what he was feeling, he’s right isn’t he?... I’m selfish, and pathetic.”

Jungkook pulls Jimin closer against him. “No Jimin, you’re not, don’t say that.”

“Everyone must be so mad at me, I broke their trust, and lied to Sejin.” Jungkook moves away from Jimin so he can roll the smaller over, so he is facing him, then he moves closer to Jimin once again.”

“Everyone’s just worried about you…” Jungkook pauses when Jimin looks up at him, his eyes red, tears threatening to fall but he holds everything in. “I won’t ever give up on you… You’ll always have me.” Jungkook’s face flushes because of the way Jimin is staring at him, hoping Jimin will at least acknowledge what he said, he starts to mumble when he nerves get the best of him. “Are you hungry?”

“No” Jimin replies softly.

“Well you should eat something, tomorrow morning we can order a bunch of stuff for breakfast-..” Jungkook rambles on.

“… Kiss me.” The demand is quiet, more of a plea than anything else, causing Jungkook to pause. He looks down at the older, Jimin looks like he may break any second, he looks so fragile it makes Jungkook’s chest constrict. Jungkook has never been able to deny Jimin.

The kiss is gentle, their lips moving together lazily, Jungkook licks his way into Jimin’s mouth, loving the way Jimin’s tongue moves against his own not too aggressively. Jungkook slips his hands up the back of Jimin’s shirt, Jimin tenses at first but relaxes when Jungkook starts running his fingers playfully up and down his bare skin. Jimin’s fists clench tighter at the front of Jungkook’s shirt, and he whimpers into the youngers mouth, which sends shivers down Jungkook’s spine.

Jungkook knows he will have to stop soon, Jimin is too vulnerable right now, going too far wouldn’t be right. Jungkook’s mind wanders to the other night when Jimin had come to his hotel room just after their talk by the pool, where Jimin had opened up to him about not having gone home in years. He had been vulnerable and insecure, looking to Jungkook for comfort that the younger had been more than willing to give. And as much as Jungkook wanted to give all of himself to Jimin he needed Jimin to be sure of their relationship, Jungkook, and most importantly himself. And right now, Jimin wasn’t sure of anything, he was lost.

Jungkook gently pulls away, which causes the smaller to whine cutely but he doesn’t object otherwise. Jungkook kisses Jimin’s forehead, then the tip of his nose. “You should really be resting, you know that right?”

Jimin buries his face in Jungkook’s chest, mumbling something incoherently about not wanting to kiss Jungkook right now either. Jungkook smiles fondly and keeps running his fingers against Jimin’s back. He yawns burying his face in Jimin’s unkept hair, knowing the older won’t get much sleep tonight if any, but he hopes he will at least let Jungkook hold him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter seemed a little uneventful guys. There were some conversations that I felt needed to happen! :)  
> I appreciate everyone who is reading this fic all the kudos and comments have been amazing. <3
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated   
> Hope to update soon <3 <3


	14. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next three days passed at an agonizingly slow pace. Even though he hadn’t been allowed to perform the last two shows, Jimin still had to go every where with the rest of the members.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Hides behind laptop screen*  
> Sorry for such the long wait! please don't hate me haha  
> Will not bore you with everything, just going to say that life sometimes has a way of getting in the way.  
> Hope you all enjoy! I'm a little nervous about this chapter lol.

The next three days passed at an agonizingly slow pace.  Even though he hadn’t been allowed to perform the last two shows, Jimin still had to go every where with the rest of the members.  He even got to sulk backstage at the concerts, in his over sized hoodie, faded rip jeans and black baseball cap pulled over his messy hair.  All he could do was watch as the rest of the group ran around between songs, changing outfits, throwing back water, while he got to hang out with his new personal baby sitter.  Sejin assigning one of their body guards to keep an eye on Jimin personally, was him pretty much saying loud and clear he didn’t trust him.  So, after three days of sleepless nights, mumbled affirmations, fake smiles, and a bottle of pink hair dye, Jimin was a whole new person.  At least that’s what he tried telling himself every morning, because someone with hair the color of bubble gum couldn’t be a drug addict right? 

 

That had been Bang PD’s brilliant idea when he called throwing a fit, demanding Jimin does something to soften his image, because BTS was all over the news back home, Jimin specifically.  They had been careful at the hospital, Sejin had made sure of it, Jimin hadn’t been allowed to leave his room unless he needed testing that couldn’t be done in the privacy of his hospital room.  Only a few nurses and specific doctors had been over seeing Jimin’s care.  And when he was discharged from the hospital, Sejin made sure to leave late at night.  But one of the hospitals staff had gotten some pictures of Jimin while he was being discharged, so they contacted a popular magazine in Seoul and sold the pictures, along with a statement claiming that Jimin had been at the hospital due to drug abuse.  Fans took to Twitter and other social media’s almost instantly, some didn’t believe the story, while others were angry.  

 

 

It was the morning of their final concert in Japan, they had a radio interview before the show, then they were going to be headed to Busan early the next morning to finish up the final leg of the Wings tour in Korea.  Though Jimin hadn’t been performing in recent shows he still needed to attend interviews with the rest of the group to not arise suspicion, especially with the recent allegations against him regarding the drugs.  Unfortunately, the radio interview had gone south rather quickly, with the radio host bringing up the story involving the drug abuse and the nature of Jimin’s weight loss for this comeback, claiming the fans wanted to know the truth.

 

Jimin kept his composure though, putting on a sweet smile, stating he was only at the hospital because of the concussion he suffered from tripping at the show.  Even though every muscle in his body was screaming at him to get the hell out of the room, he tried to play it off like it was nothing and that he was unbothered.  But then he broke out into a cold sweat, and he started to feel like he was going to be sick, he was pretty sure the room was starting to spin.  The radio host wasn’t impressed, and he kept fishing for more answers, wondering if they were all starting to crack under the pressure of their fame and the world tour.  With Namjoon trying to change the topic to something a little lighter, Jimin excused himself to the bathroom.  While Sejin who was listening in the whole time headed into the interview to shut it done because he wasn’t going to have his boys inappropriately questioned during a live interview.

 

Jimin on the other hand never made it to the bathroom, he was suddenly being guided outside by a pair of hands on his shoulders.  Good thing to, because the second he was brought around to the side of their van, hidden away from the eyes of the radio studio he lost his breakfast on the shoes of the body guard assigned to watch him.  While Jimin continued dry heaving, he mumbled half-hearted apologies to the older man standing above him patting his back through the ordeal.

 

Since the interview ended earlier than expected they headed back to the hotel to get some rest before the show.  While most of the members headed back up to their rooms, Jimin headed down to the gym.  Happy the gym is empty he pulls up some music on his phone and starts to stretch.  With the show less than six hours away Jimin’s nerves are starting to get the best of him.  He wished he had more of a private place to practice, but the empty gym and the two small mirrors in front of him would have to do.  As Jimin starts to run through some choreography he forces himself to focus around the noise in his head.  Enjoying the push and pull of the muscles he hasn’t been using recently.  Jimin finds himself distracted and stumbling over the steps when someone else enters the gym.

 

Namjoon smirks sheepishly at Jimin when he realizes he broke the youngers concentration.  Jimin pauses the music playing on his phone and sits down on the ground and starts stretching again when he assumes Namjoon isn’t going to be leaving.  “You know, you should be resting.”  Namjoon mumbles as he lets his fingers run over a set of dumb bells nestled near the mirrors.

 

Jimin eyes the older through the mirror before shrugging slightly.  “I’ve been doing nothing but resting, haven’t I?”

 

Namjoon merely hums before pausing awkwardly.  “So, I’m sorry things have been weird.”  Jimin rolls his eyes while Namjoon continues.  “You’re doing a great job though… Don’t let what happened today at the interview get you down.”

 

Jimin stares back blankly at the older.  “Okay, who sent you in here? It was Sejin am I right?”

 

“No, no one sent me in here.”  Namjoon grumbles, shifting from one foot to the other.  “We were just worried about you… You were really quiet on the car ride back from the interview, so I just wanted to come in and check on you.”

 

Namjoon crouches down in front of Jimin, trying to hold the youngers attention while he seems more preoccupied with his stretch.  As Jimin leans forward, his chest nearly touching the ground in front of him, his legs spread wide on either side of him in a painful looking split.

 

Namjoon continues after a moment.  “Hey, Jimin?... Sorry if I’ve seemed a little distant, or like I haven’t cared, because I really do… I was just surprised, and I felt like I couldn’t help.  I really have no experience with any of this stuff, so I figured if I said anything it was just going to sound really stupid… Ya know, kind of like I do right now… I’m sorry I wasn’t a better friend”

 

Jimin sits up right, pulling his knees up to his chest.  His guard is up, it had been since getting out of the hospital.  But Jimin can’t help but giggle at Namjoon’s wide eyes staring back him.  “Hyung, you are a good friend, you always have been.”  Namjoon grins and laughs out of relief.

 

Jimin’s past few days had been filled with both Taehyung, and Hoseok trying to keep him busy and laughing, and making sure he wasn’t alone for more than five minutes at a time.  Jin was also checking up on him frequently, and every time he did he brought some food over with him.  Jimin appeased the older, and made sure to eat a little each time, wondering exactly how much weight Jin expected him to gain in three days.  Night time was the hardest for Jimin, it’s when the cravings would kick in and the mood swings and the insomnia would keep him up all night.  Jungkook would sneak into Jimin’s room when everyone disappeared into their rooms for the night, and Jimin’s body guard would finally leave his post outside of Jimin’s room.  The younger would keep Jimin company when he couldn’t sleep, even when Jimin thought he wanted to be alone, and he would push Jungkook away, and act like he didn’t need anyone.

 

This particular night seemed to be one of the hardest though.  The concert had gone extremely well, Jimin, along with everyone else’s performance had been excellent, fans were excited to see Jimin performing again.  And everyone seemed to be in good spirits when they got back to the hotel, so they headed to their rooms to pack for their early flight tomorrow morning to Busan and get a good night’s rest.  Jimin, who is still rooming by himself, per Sejin’s request was shoving things haphazardly into his suitcase when there was a knock on his door.  He curses under his breath while he digs for a shirt to throw on because he only put sweatpants on after his shower, Jimin isn’t surprised when he opens his door and sees Jungkook standing there.

 

Jungkook can tell the older is stressed when he practically flings the door open and walks away while Jungkook lets himself in.  Jungkook smiles fondly as he reaches out running his fingers through Jimin’s messy pink hair, trying to smooth it out because it was standing up all over the place as if Jimin had been trying to pull it out.  Jungkook doesn’t take it to heart when Jimin swats his hand away before throwing the younger a glare over his shoulder.

 

Jungkook flings himself onto Jimin’s bed, and he can’t help but watch the older as he moves around the hotel room.  He couldn’t get over how sexy the pink hair is, watching Jimin perform his song [‘Lie’](http://jeonsshi.tumblr.com/post/157405446096/dailykookmin-the-luminary-do-not-edit) while blindfolded had brought up some dark desires for him. 

 

Jungkook is pulled out of his thoughts when he realizes Jimin is speaking to him, he blinks when he notices Jimin staring at him from across the room.  “Shouldn’t you be packing?”  Jimin repeats again slowly, with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

 

Jungkook smirks while he tucks his arms behind his head.  “I’m already packed… What are you doing exactly?”

 

“Packing” Jimin mumbles as he goes back to shoving things into his suitcase.

 

“Jimin… Come here.”  Jungkook speaks gently as he gets up and stands behind Jimin.

 

“No.”  Jimin mumbles as he ignores the younger and works on trying to zip up his suitcase.

 

Jungkook pulls Jimin away from his bag and turns him around so they are facing each other.  He smiles as the shorter man’s pout.  “You’re not packing, you’re literally just shoving everything into your suitcase you probably won’t be able to close it.”

 

Jimin shrugs exasperatedly, knocking Jungkook’s hands off his shoulders in the process.  “Jungkook… I need to be alone tonight, I appreciate these last few days… I just can’t tonight.”

 

“I know you’re nervous about going back to Busan, that’s why I figured you shouldn’t be alone.”  The younger searches Jimin’s face, finally asking the question that has been on his mind these past few nights he spent with the older.  “Do you think your Dad will be at the show?”

 

Jimin laughs bitterly as he steps away from Jungkook, putting some much-needed distance between them.  “No… He won’t, trust me, that man wants nothing to do with me.”

 

Jungkook sighs sadly as Jimin steps farther away from him and goes back to attempting to close his suitcase.  “I really think you should sleep in your own bed tonight.”  Jimin mumbles.

 

Jungkook scratches the back of his neck, not wanting to fight with the pink-haired man in front of him.  “Okay… If you need anything though you can text me… Night Jimin.”

 

Jimin just hums as Jungkook leaves his room.  After fighting with his suitcase for another five minutes he does manage to zip it shut.  He takes a hot shower hoping it will make him sleepy. He lets the hot water run down his body until his skin is red and he feels numb under the hot spray, and steam fills the bathroom.  But the shower doesn’t do anything to help with his insomnia, he lays in bed staring at the ceiling, the curtains are open just a crack letting a sliver of light filter through that runs across the span of the room, cutting it in half. 

 

Jungkook hadn’t been completely wrong, Jimin is nervous about going back to Busan.  But not because of his father, he knows the old man won’t give a shit that he is home.  Plus, he doesn’t plan on seeing his father, since he already spoke to Sejin regarding the matter.  The only person he is worried about seeing is Kim Jihoon, someone he had been avoiding the past four years.  Deep down Jimin knows if Mr. Kim really wanted to find him he could, this is all just a game to the older man.  All Jimin did was change his number, and move to Seoul, where Mr. Kim frequents on many occasions due to business.  Jimin wonders if he will see the older man in Busan, if he will attend the concert, make a scene in front everyone, he ultimately could if he really wanted to.

 

Jimin drags his hand down his face as he sighs in frustration, anxiety bubbling up inside him as he lays in bed in the quiet hotel room.  Jimin absent mindedly reaches next to him, placing his hand on the cold sheets where Jungkook has been sleeping the past few nights.  His fingers twist in the sheets as he contemplates texting the younger, he eventually settles on going to get Jungkook himself when he realizes the youngers company is better than lying in bed wide awake, alone to dwell on his own thoughts.

 

Jimin opens the door to his hotel room and curses under his breath when he nearly trips over someone sleeping on the floor in front of his room, not just someone, Jungkook of course.  Jimin nudges the younger awake with his foot, Jungkook stirs and eventually looks up at the older while rubbing his eyes, he hums while giving Jimin a sleepy smile.

 

Jimin glances down the other end of the hall making sure no one else is in the hallway.  “Uh, what the hell are you doing?”

 

Jungkook shrugs while he stands up, stretching a little.  “I know you really don’t want to be alone… Was just waiting for you to figure that out.”

 

Jimin rolls his eyes before he grabs a hold of the front of Jungkook’s shirt.  “You really want to help?”  Once Jungkook nods Jimin pulls him back into his room, he closes the door and paces back and forth.

 

Before Jungkook can ask what’s wrong Jimin is moving towards him again, this time pushing him against the wall as the older crashes forward and soft lips find his.  Jungkook gasps as Jimin’s tongue licks into his mouth.

 

It doesn’t take Jungkook long to react though, his hands reaching out and grabbing onto Jimin’s hips as Jimin’s hands slip under his shirt, finger tips running along bare skin.  Jungkook pulls the older flush against him as their lips meet again in needy open-mouth kisses.  But all too soon Jimin is pulling away slightly making Jungkook whine.  “The bed…”  Jimin pants out as he starts backing up towards his bed, pulling the younger with him.  Jungkook doesn’t let him get too far before he surges forward and crashes their lips together again.

 

Once they reach the bed Jimin pushes Jungkook onto his back, before climbing onto his lap, straddling him.  Jungkook places his hands on Jimin’s thighs, grinding up against him, groaning as their clothed cocks rub against each other.  Jimin’s breath hitches in his throat and he smirks when he realizes it didn’t take very long for Jungkook to get hard for him.  He slides down Jungkook’s body, settling between his legs, causing the younger to prop himself up on his elbows to watch Jimin, his curiosity peaked.

 

Jimin gives Jungkook’s shorts a quick tug, bringing them about half way down his thighs.  Jungkook finds it hard to breathe as he watches Jimin, who peers back up at him, breath ghosting over his exposed cock as Jimin’s tongue darts out of mouth wetting his plump lips.  It’s enough to make Jungkook want to come right then and there.

 

Jimin doesn’t say anything more as his lips are circling the head of Jungkook’s cock, his tongue pressing into the slit.  Jungkook lets his upper body fall back against the bed as he moans, his fingers weaving through Jimin’s pink hair.  Jimin gives Jungkook’s cock a hard suck, teasing it before pulling off and making Jungkook whine. He licks a strip along the shaft, then takes it into his mouth again, and Jungkook has to refrain from thrusting up into Jimin’s mouth.

 

Jimin’s mouth is hot, and wet, and the way he hums around Jungkook’s cock when the younger rubs his scalp sends shivers up Jungkook’s spine.  His hands shake with need as they tighten in the pink hair ever so slightly.  Jimin suddenly pulls off without warning, smirking up at Jungkook with lust filled eyes, the younger nearly chokes on his own spit when Jimin groans out.  “You’re holding back… I want you to use me Jungkook.”

 

Jungkook doesn’t have to be told twice, though he doesn’t want to hurt Jimin he slides his cock past the older mans lips.  And Jimin takes all of him like a pro, he moans shamelessly as he watches his cock disappear behind those pink lips, over, and over again.  Jimin hollows out his cheeks as Jungkook fucks into his mouth, not surprised the younger is still being gentle with him. 

 

Jungkook feels heat coiling in his lower stomach, when he tries to warn Jimin to stop the older just pushes back.  Taking Jungkook further down his tight throat, wishing Jungkook would just fuck his throat raw.  With three more jerks of his hips Jungkook is coming down Jimin’s throat, who milks him dry, while his breathy moans fill the room.

 

Once Jimin pulls back, Jungkook tries to hide the post-orgasm trembling in his thighs as Jimin looks up at him with hooded eyes, that sinful tongue darting out of his mouth once again to lick his lips.

 

Jimin goes to stand up but Jungkook growls and grabs onto his waist, pulling him back against him.  His lips find Jimin’s again in a heated kiss, tasting himself on Jimin’s tongue making him dizzy.

 

He is only brought back when he feels Jimin wiggle against him, trying to get free.  “J-Jungkook… wait.”  Jungkook lets Jimin stand up while he watches the older man.

 

“Jimin I want to make you feel good.  Come here.”  Jungkook reaches for Jimin again.  Jimin shakes his head a little looking confused.  “Every time I get close you push me away… Who-… Who hurt you?”

 

Jimin’s eyes darken at Jungkook’s sudden question, he looks almost feral as he stands over the younger, but he doesn’t reply. 

 

So Jungkook continues.  “Do you trust me?”  He whispers.  When Jimin nods slowly Jungkook pulls him back onto the bed.  “Then let me take care of you.”

 

Jungkook slides his hand down into Jimin’s sweats, making the exciting discovery that he isn’t wearing any underwear.  He jerks him off as their lips crash together again, and he drinks in the heavy pants and sharp moans that escape Jimin as he bucks into Jungkook’s hand.

 

Jungkook kisses deeper, tongue exploring Jimin’s mouth before he moves on to his neck, sucking gently at the skin to not leave any bruises as his hand pumps Jimin faster. And faster. And faster until his voice, hoarse and raw from Jungkook’s cock, breaks on a high moan.

 

When Jimin comes he is clutching the front of Jungkook’s shirt, panting, eyes shut tightly as he buries his face in the youngers neck.  Whole body trembling as Jungkook keeps up a steady pace making sure Jimin is completely done and spent before he stops.

 

Jungkook continues to hold Jimin close, letting the older take as much time as he needs.  He runs his fingers through Jimin’s pink hair while they both come down from their highs.  After several quite minutes Jimin’s breathing has evened out and Jungkook realizes he’s asleep.  The younger smiles fondly to himself and he finally lets himself drift off to sleep as well. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGH I hope it wasn't terrible!  
> comments are always appreciated, I always read them and try to respond to most if not all.  
> Thank you again for your patience those who have stuck around.
> 
> <3<3


	15. Busan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The concert the following evening is a blur for Jimin. He performs robotically, going through the motions and tries to distance himself from everyone, while at the same time trying to act like nothing is wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient with me! Sorry this chapter is a bit short.
> 
> Feel free to reach out to me on Tumblr with any questions!   
> Or just to chat ;)
> 
> Tumblr : CLburr03

Gimhae International Airport in Busan was overly crowded. Fans lined the airport as Jimin and the rest of the members made their way through the long corridors to reach the cars waiting for them outside. 

Airport security was helping to make a path for the boys to cut through the large crowd, but Jimin’s anxiety had only heightened when they landed. And now as they were making their way through the throng of people he found himself suffocating as they were ushered past the screaming, excited fans. 

Jimin’s large sunglasses helped hide his nervousness as he scanned the crowd, looking for any familiar faces. He was acutely aware of everyone around him, Tae, Hoseok, and Jin were up front, while Namjoon and Jungkook were on either side of him. Sejin and Yoongi were bringing up the rear. 

Yoongi adjusted his face mask while he tried not to roll his eyes, as he watched Jungkook place his hand on Jimin’s lower back as they kept walking. He hated to admit that he was a still dealing with some residual jealousy. At first, he had wondered what Jimin saw in the maknae. Now after everything that had happened Yoongi wondered if Jungkook knew what he was getting himself into. Seeing as Jimin apparently had more baggage then all their suit cases combined, he had a feeling Jungkook was only going to end up hurt in the end. 

Yoongi’s career came first, it always had, he promised he would help take care of his family back home as much as he could. But he couldn’t help but feel bad for how he had treated Jimin the other day when the younger had been honest with all of them about his past drug abuse, he understood why Jimin hadn’t told them. But Yoongi knew there was more too it, there were things Jimin still wasn’t telling them.

It had become painfully obvious that Jimin was becoming increasingly more distressed once they reached the airport. Yoongi watched as Namjoon left Jimin’s side to speak with Jin, it was at that time the path through the crowd became narrower as they were nearing the exit. Jimin was looking around as if someone was going to jump out at him, which surprised Yoongi because the younger usually kept his cool around fans and large crowds. There was a slight shift in the crowd, people in the back pushing towards the front most likely, and a fan reached out, grabbing ahold of Jimin’s arm before security could stop her. 

Jimin stumbled, pulling his arm out of the fans grasp so fast his sunglasses fell off his face, clattering to the floor at his feet. He turns around quickly and collides with a surprised Yoongi. Yoongi grabs a hold of the youngers shoulders when he sees the wild, startled look in Jimin’s eyes. 

“I-I can’t do this.” Jimin mumbles quickly, looking feral as he tries to struggle out of Yoongi’s hold.

“You’re going the wrong way.” Yoongi emphasizes this by turning Jimin back around. Jimin’s legs remain frozen as he mumbles incoherently about wanting to get back on the plane, while Jungkook is trying to reach for Jimin, and Sejin urges them all forward to get them to the cars as fast as possible. The ride to the hotel is quiet, everyone trying to process what exactly happened back at the airport. Once they all reach the hotel and are checked in, Jimin disappears into his room for the remainder of the night.

 

The concert the following evening is a blur for Jimin. He performs robotically, going through the motions and tries to distance himself from everyone, while at the same time trying to act like nothing is wrong. Bang PD calls Sejin during the show, leaving a voice mail regarding the next days events. Sejin frowns as he listens to the voice mail back stage. _”What is this I hear about not going to Jimin’s families home tomorrow… We can’t have the group going to Jungkook’s home and not Jimin’s, fans know they are both from Busan, do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? Listen Sejin I really don’t care what the reason is, or how it gets done, but Jimin is professional especially in front of the camera. So if I find out you didn’t get some filming done at both houses for this DVD we will have plenty to talk about when you get back to Seoul.”_ Sejin stares down at his phone before deleting the voice mail, he remembers the reason Jimin said he didn’t want to go home was because his father was going to be traveling for work. Sejin figures it couldn’t hurt to make a quick stop, harmless really, and maybe not telling Jimin until tomorrow is a good idea as well.

With the concert finished and everyone ready to head back to the hotel for some much-earned rest, Jimin realizes he forgot his phone in the green room when they are all heading to the cars. Jimin quickly turns back to grab his phone before Sejin can send someone with him. He can’t seem to find his phone anywhere, Jimin is elbow deep in a couch cushion when the door behind him opens and shuts rather quickly. He assumes it is one of the staff members or Sejin himself but when it remains eerily quiet Jimin turns around to see who walked in on him. 

Jimin stops dead in his tracks, he feels the air leave his lungs when he finds himself face to face with Kim Jihoon. Mr. Kim, now 48 years old looks like he’s hardly aged, full head of hair, only a few grays visible. Towering over Jimin at 6 feet 6 inches, and still looking aristocratically handsome in his fitted suit, the older man merely smirks. “Looking for this… Jimin?”

Jimin closes his eyes after hearing Mr. Kim say his name, it makes his skin crawl. And he can’t help but hope that this is all just a dream, that when he opens his eyes he’ll be standing alone in the green room. Jimin opens his eyes when he hears a low chuckle, of course Kim Jihoon would be laughing at him. Mr. Kim never travels alone, his personal driver and goon, Vlad, a thick Russian man who has been living in Seoul for over 15 years yet refuses to learn any Korean, circles around and stands behind Jimin nonchalantly. 

“You shouldn’t leave your things lying around… But since I found it, I took the liberty of getting your new number… Seeing as you changed it.” Mr. Kim slowly walks up to Jimin, stopping maybe a foot away, placing his phone down on the table next to them.

Jimin wants to move, he wills his legs to work but they refuse, he stands frozen in front of the older man, arms hanging limp at his sides. Mr. Kim takes his time as he hungerly looks Jimin up and down, he smiles slowly while his eyes linger on Jimin’s hair. “Pink suits you.” Mr. Kim reaches out and runs his hand briefly through Jimin’s hair before grabbing a hold of the hair on the back of his head yanking sharply, craning Jimin’s neck back painfully until he lets out a whimper. “You _stupid_ boy.” Mr. Kim hisses as Jimin flinches. “Did you really think you could run from me and I would just leave you be?... I let you play your little game, and I admit you were pretty smart putting yourself in the public eye knowing the risk I may face going after you… But you’re mine.” The older man practically growls.

Jimin’s heart pounds loudly in his chest. He wants to scream, tell this man in front of him not to touch him. That he’s not some child he can take advantage of anymore. But he can’t open his mouth, it’s too dry, he can’t form any words.

Mr. Kim lets go of Jimin’s hair only to grab his chin and jaw roughly forcing the younger to look at him before speaking again. “Have you let anyone else touch you?”

Confusion clouds Jimin’s eyes before he finally finds his voice. “W-What?” He immediately thinks of Jungkook.

Kim Jihoon sneers. “Has anyone else _fucked_ you?”

Jimin feels his face heat up from the embarrassingly personal question, anger seeping through, giving him courage. “No.” He spits out, roughly turning his head to the left, breaking out of Mr. Kim’s hold.

The older man’s eyes narrow before he straightens out his tie while replying, “Good.”

Jimin’s hands clench at his sides. “I’m done… I’m not a child anymore, you can’t c-control me, I don’t owe you anything.” Jimin internally kicks himself for stuttering and sounding just as weak as he feels.

Mr. Kim stares at him carefully, before chuckling. “Don’t forget who you belong to Jimin… When I’m in Seoul on business and I call you, I expect you to figure out a way to come see me… If not well-… Jeon Jungkook, he has such promise, one phone call and I’ll have him in a wheel chair, he’ll never perform again.” Mr. Kim smirks when he realizes he struck a nerve with Jimin, so he continues. “You know, Jung Hoseok, he’s very close to his sweet sister… Would be a shame for something to happen to her. And I’m sure you know Min Yoongi’s family’s small restaurant is the only thing they have, they have a hard-enough time paying the bills… What if there was a fire?... Don’t forget who I am Jimin, my family is in politics, and we own factories that employ thousands of people across South Korea. So, it would be your word against mine, and you’re right when you say you’re not a child anymore… You’re nothing more than a stray dog I took in. And a _whore_.”

Jimin shakes with anger, he wants to wrap his small hands around Kim Jihoon’s neck and squeeze until he can’t any longer. He knows the older man is not bluffing, he would hurt all of them given the chance, he’s seen it with his own eyes while he was living with him. What other choice does he have?

“Jiminie!... it’s been ten minutes what the hell did you do with your phone?” Taehyung and Jungkook walk into the green room, halting in their tracks when all three men look over at them.

Mr. Kim recovers quickly though. “Well hello! Sorry to hold you all up I’m sure you need to leave. I’m Kim Jihoon, Jimin’s uncle, I just wanted to steal a quick chat with him, he doesn’t come around very often you know.” The older man pats Jimin’s shoulder affectionately while Jimin just stares at him.

Taehyung grins. “Oh hi! Nice to meet you”

Jungkook looks from Kim Jihoon to Jimin who looks visibly uncomfortable, Jungkook can sense the tension and watches as Jimin steps away from the older man. Jungkook glares at Mr. Kim. “Funny… Jimin’s never mentioned you.”

Mr. Kim smiles at Jungkook, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Ah well he’s told me all about the six of you.”

Jungkook looks back at Jimin. “Come on Hyung, we have to go, Sejin will get mad.” 

Jimin heads over to Jungkook and Tae after grabbing his phone off the table, while Mr. Kim gives a wave. “I’ll be in touch Jimin, don’t be a stranger.

Jimin leaves quickly with Jungkook and Taehyung, remaining quiet as they head out to the cars waiting for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed back is always appreciated thank you for reading. Your comments always mean a lot to me.
> 
>  
> 
> <3 <3 <3


	16. Truth II

Jimin stands under the hot spray of the shower, letting the water sting his reddening skin. The reality of tonight’s encounter with Kim Jihoon suddenly hitting him in the form of a panic attack. His heart is beating so fast he can hear the blood rushing in his ears, the trembling in his legs worsens, so he crouches down and tucks his head between his knees, covering his head with his arms while he takes deep breaths to calm his nerves. Mr. Kim’s words still haunt him as he tries to regain his composure, “ _has anyone else fucked you?”_ Jimin growls, tugging at his pink locks. “ _Whore_ ” Jimin shakes his head, “I’m not… I’m not” he whines softly.

When Jimin manages to finish his shower, he hopes Jungkook is asleep. No one had put up much of a fight when Jungkook had asked to room with him at the hotel, Namjoon seemed to give them an odd but knowing look, and Taehyung had asked Jimin if he cared, which the pink haired man honestly did not. Jimin exits the bathroom, and quietly heads to his bed, he notices Jungkook lying awake on his phone but doesn’t say anything as he climbs into his own bed. 

Jimin lays on his side facing away from the younger, he shuts his eyes tightly when he hears Jungkook’s bed creak as he rolls over facing Jimin’s bed. “Who was that guy from earlier?”

Jimin releases a small sigh. “My uncle… Didn’t you hear him?” Jimin tries to keep his voice steady.

Jungkook sits up, and fidgets with his phone for a moment. “Are you okay Jimin?... You seemed upset when you were talking to him.”

“Yeah…perfectly fine.” The older mumbles, his tone unknowingly giving him away.

Jungkook smirks. “You’re lying…what’s going on?”

Jimin sits up, finally facing Jungkook. “I really don’t want to talk... Go to sleep.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Yeah?... Well maybe I don’t want to go to sleep.”

Jungkook watches as Jimin raises an eyebrow at him. The younger feels a blush creep up the back of his neck as he shakes his head. “That’s… That’s not what I meant.”

“What did you mean then?” Jimin smirks, he leans back, resting his weight on his arms to keep himself propped up.

Jungkook watches as the older man tilts his head to side, Jimin’s throat exposed to him, tempting him, inviting him in. “I mean we should talk… And you shouldn’t change the subject, like you always do.”

Jimin pouts, “But I don’t want to talk.” Jungkook tries to divert his eyes as Jimin leaves his legs shamelessly spread, his shorts tightening around his muscular thighs as he shifts slightly on the bed. The v-neck t-shirt he decided to wear dipping low, Jungkook can’t help finding it distracting.

Jungkook sighs, _goddammit_ , Jimin had always been this way he supposes. The older always changed the subject or diverted attention elsewhere when personal questions were asked or anything about family was brought up. And right now, it was working, all Jungkook wanted to do was charge at Jimin, pin him down on the bed and make him scream his name so everyone could hear.

Jungkook snaps when Jimin’s tongue darts out to run over his lips, and then he grins, a devilish twinkle in his eyes. Jimin breathes in deep, then sighs, “We don’t have to talk Jungkook.” Jimin always had this effect on him, he drove him insane.

Jungkook pushes off his bed, launching himself at Jimin. They crash together, lips meeting in bruising kisses, too fast to be graceful. Jungkook fits himself between Jimin’s legs, open wide for him as Jimin wraps his legs around Jungkook’s waist. Tipping his head back and letting Jungkook kiss down his throat, teeth scraping over his skin.

Jungkook grabs at the front of Jimin’s shirt, hands flattening across his chest and pushing him back, laying him out across the bed. Jungkook pauses, taking a moment to appreciate the way Jimin’s shirt rides up to reveal an expanse of muscular, tanned abs, the way his pink hair splays out around him.

Jimin’s fingers find Jungkook’s belt as the younger crawls over him, one hand in Jimin’s hair to tug his head back, lips on his throat again as Jimin gasps. His fingers fumble around until he manages to undo Jungkook’s pants, tugging them down until one hand curls around the outline of his cock through his underwear. Jungkook bites his tongue to suppress a moan, eyes fluttering shut and head snapping back as Jimin begins to stroke him, hand slipping past that last barrier of clothing, wrapping around his bare cock, dripping with precome.

His hand leaves Jimin’s hair, planting it on the bed instead as his other hand impatiently pushes Jimin’s basketball shorts down. Their eyes lock as he tugs Jimin’s boxer briefs down next. Jimin’s face is flushed red with need, eyes cloudy with lust and desire.

The little moan that escapes Jimin’s lips when Jungkook finally touches him makes Jungkook’s head spin. He’s intoxicating, seeping into every bone in Jungkook’s body. It’s like Jungkook has no idea who he even is anymore when Jimin looks him in the eyes. Jimin’s free hand slids through the youngers hair, all the way around to the nape of his neck and down his back. Jungkook crashes down against Jimin’s lips again, their bodies melding together as he pushes Jimin’s hand away from his cock, taking both in his own hand and jerking them off in time with each other.

His tongue pushes past Jimin’s lips, swiping over his teeth, along the roof of his mouth, Jimin letting out a breathy moan as he bucks into Jungkook’s hand. He takes hold of the side of Jungkook’s shirt, then slides his hand along his ribs, over his lower back, urging him to buck into his own hand, sliding his cock against Jimin’s, dragging a moan out of Jungkook’s throat.

A moan breaks past the barrier of Jimin’s lips, shameful and loud, panting into Jungkook’s mouth, hot breath mingling together. He can feel Jungkook smiling against his own lips before Jimin buries his face in the crook of Jungkook’s neck as they both thrust into his hand, chasing their climax. His lips travel along Jungkook’s jaw, arm wrapped around his shoulders, lips stop at Jungkook’s ear, breath tickling his skin. “I-I want to come…P-please,” Jimin gasps, his voice shaking and weak as Jungkook strokes their cocks again, heat coiling in his stomach.

Jungkook groans, head snapping back, hips bucking down to grind against Jimin. And then he’s coming over his hand, across their chests, pathetic whimpers and cries escaping him as his hips jerk down against the pink-haired man. He keeps stroking them together until Jimin’s voice hitches on a broken moan, back arching up, hands gripping Jungkook like his life depends on it, nails pressing crescents into him, and he comes hard across the both of them.

They’re both left a panting mess, chests heaving against each other, Jungkook trying and failing not to rest too much bodyweight on Jimin. He’s too weak to hold himself up any longer, his arms shaking. 

Jimin squeezes his eyes shut as Kim Jihoon invades his thoughts once again, “ _Who else has touched you?... Whore_.” Jimin starts to tremble, suddenly feeling dirty, _I’m dirty, disgusting, and used… I’ll only make Jungkook dirty, if only he knew how many people have-_ Jimin can’t continue his thoughts as a wrecked sob pushes past his lips grabbing the youngers attention.

Jungkook pulls back to look at Jimin, thinking he hurt him somehow. Jimin refuses to look him in the eyes as he pushes against the youngers chest weakly.

“Get off me.” Jimin begs quietly, as he pushes against Jungkook’s chest again. The younger man gets up with a confused look on his face.

“Jimin-…” He reaches for the older man who cringes and pulls away from his touch.

“Don’t touch me!” Jimin cries out as he whimpers, pulling away from Jungkook entirely.

Jungkook shakes his head, not sure where it suddenly went wrong. “I’m sorry, Jimin please.” Jungkook reaches for Jimin again, wanting to comfort him.

“I’m disgusting… D-don’t touch me.” Jimin sobs, pulling up his underwear along with his shorts.

“No, you’re not-…” Jungkook trails off as he watches Jimin curl into himself and turn away from him. Jungkook can’t hide the hurt look on his face as he pulls his own pants up and grabs some fresh clothes before disappearing into the bathroom to shower. _What the fuck just happened?_

 

Jimin rests his forehead against the cold window of the van, turning the music up louder that pours from his earbuds, trying to drown out the conversations happening around him. He had barely gotten any sleep the previous night. It had been only more awkward this morning, when him and Jungkook tried their best to avoid each other as they got ready. Jimin could tell he had hurt the younger, it was obvious in the way Jungkook barely graced him with a glance and went out of his way to make sure he wasn’t in the same car with Jimin. 

Jimin closes his eyes as the vans get off the highway and start turning down side streets. Jimin tires to rest knowing they will be arriving at Jungkook’s home soon, and he will have to be polite and friendly since cameras will be on them. Jimin can’t help noticing how twitchy Sejin seems to be this morning, he sits in the seat in front of Jimin, and glances back at him a few times as if he wants to say something but never does. Jimin shrugs off the weirdness of their manager, more preoccupied with how he should fix things with Jungkook. Jimin was realizing more each day how much he really did care for the boy. Jungkook was special to him whether he wanted to believe it or not, he’s the first person Jimin has ever been with willingly. But he wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to open up to the younger. Jimin wondered if he’d always be stuck in his own head, having to put this mask on every day, pretend he was someone who could function as a normal adult. He’d never have a meaningful relationship, but what was the point when there was Kim Jihoon breathing down his neck.

Nearly an hour later the van lurches to a stop, Jimin cracks open an eye lid when the doors to van slide open and everyone starts piling out. He over hears Jin’s conversation with Namjoon, “Is this Jungkook’s house?... I thought he said he didn’t live this close to the beach.”

Jimin’s eyes fly open, and he cranes his neck to look out the van window as dread pulses through his nervous system. _His fucking house_ , they were parked outside of his house, and his fathers shitty Kia was parked in the driveway. _Sejin_ , Jimin quickly searches for the older man as he shoves through Namjoon and Jin to climb out of the van. Namjoon seems to realize what’s happening, remembering his conversation with Jungkook regarding Jimin’s lack of enthusiasm to come back to Busan, and visit home.

“Hey Jimin! Hold on, wait a second… We’ll figure this out.” Namjoon goes to grab a hold of Jimin’s wrist but the younger wrenches it out of his grasp.

Jimin spots Sejin talking to the cameramen by the other van, Jimin wishes everyone would just get back in the vans but the other members have all gotten out and are standing around, stretching their limbs from the long drive.

Jungkook climbs out of the van parked ahead of Jimin’s and runs his fingers through his hair while he tries to figure out why they stopped here instead of heading straight for his house. That is until he hears Jimin shout for their manager, and he sees how enraged the pink-haired man appears to be. Then the younger puts two and two together and realizes this must be Jimin’s childhood home.

“Sejin!” Jimin shouts as he makes a bee-line for the older man, who turns and puts his hands up defensively as Jimin approaches.

Sejin at least looks apologetic when Jimin reaches him. “I told you I didn’t want to come here… We have to leave now.”

“I’m sorry Jimin, I don’t want you to feel as if you can’t trust me. But Bang PD will have my ass if I don’t do my job, which I can’t afford to lose ya know.” Jimin just shakes his head at Sejin’s response, by now the rest of the members have made their way over to see what is going on.

Jimin clenches his fists tightly. “Look, I didn’t want to come here because my father is a fucking asshole… And there are some things I didn’t need everyone knowing.” As if on cue the front door to the house is flung open and Mr. Park steps out onto his porch, and he’s pissed.

“What the fuck is this?... Get the fuck off my property before I call the cops!” Mr. Park marches down his steps, or more like stumbles, and starts heading towards the group. But Jimin meets him half way, trying to prevent an even bigger scene from occurring since some neighbors have taken notice and are outside watching them.

“Get back in the house.” Jimin replies calmly, while holding his hands up stopping his father in his tracks. Jimin feels sick to his stomach as he watches his old man warily. Mr. Park looks disheveled as always, hair unkept, he needs a shave and his old jeans and white t-shirt are covered in stains.

Mr. Park doesn’t recognize his son right away. “ _Excuse_ me?”

“We’re all leaving, so get back in the house… You’re fucking drunk right now we both know it, so don’t make this a bigger deal than it needs to be.” Jimin keeps his voice level as he stares at the man in front of him. The man who was supposed to take care of him but gave up on him when he was only 8 years old, now all Jimin fells is disdain. 

Jimin’s father squints at him, recognition sparks in his eyes before it turns into rage. “ _You…_ ” The older man reaches out grabbing a hold of the front of Jimin’s sweatshirt bringing him a few inches away from his face. “I thought I told you never to come back here”

“Trust me, it wasn’t my choice.” Jimin glares at his father, grabbing onto his wrists while Mr. Park gives Jimin a hard shake by the front of his sweat shirt.

Once Mr. Park lets go of Jimin he takes a swing at him, back handing the right side of his jaw, Jimin grunts and stumbles. But Jimin isn’t the 14-year-old boy he was the last time he saw his father face to face. Jimin retaliates, landing his own punch right in the middle of his father’s face, breaking his nose.

What happens next is chaos. Jungkook rushes forward after seeing Jimin get hit, putting himself between Jimin and his father he shoves Mr. Park in the chest. “What the fuck is wrong with you!? He’s your son!” 

Taehyung also tries to get to Jimin and Jungkook but Jin and Hoseok grab onto him before he can. “Let me go!... Fucking asshole!” Taehyung struggles against his two friends while yelling at Jimin’s father. One body guard starts trying to get Namjoon and Yoongi back to the van while they fight to see what’s happening. The body guard has a hold on the back of Namjoon’s shirt as he drags him back to the van while carrying Yoongi around the waist like a football while the smaller kicks.

Mr. Park holds his nose as blood pours out of it. “Who the fuck are you?...what is this!?” He glares at Jungkook as the second body guard starts pushing Mr. Park back towards his house.

An elderly neighbor who was outside watching all of this unfold starts yelling that she is going to call the cops. So Sejin rushes over to let her know all of this was just a misunderstanding, they definitely don’t need the authorities getting involved.

Jimin starts tugging Jungkook with him as he backs up. “He’s not fucking worth it Jungkook, come on.” Jungkook turns and instinctually reaches for Jimin’s face seeing the bruise already starting to form along his jaw line. Jimin is caught by surprise at how angry Jungkook looks, he lets the younger pull him into a tight embrace.

When they turn to walk away Mr. Park yells from the front porch just like coward he is. “You fucking _faggott_ … You don’t think I know what you are, I know all about him!”

Jimin ducks his head down in embarrassment his father’s words sting as him and Jungkook are ushered back to the vans by one of the body guards. Jimin wonders who his father is talking about, _does he know about Kim Jihoon?...How would he?_.

Later that night Jimin stands in front of the bathroom mirror. The purple and red bruise on his jaw line looks angry against his skin. After the excitement at his father’s house earlier in the day he had gotten to go back to the hotel while the rest of the members had to go Jungkook’s home for filming. Jimin can barely look himself in the eye through the mirror so he diverts his gaze downwards, and for the first-time notices some light bruising on his knuckles from punching his father in the face. Jimin smirks because it felt good to hit him, he hadn’t gotten into a fight since he was younger when he used fight in school.

Suddenly there’s furious knocking on his hotel room door. Jimin sighs and debates ignoring whoever it is but the knocking just becomes more erratic. He eventually makes his way over to the door after giving himself another once over in the mirror. Opening the door slowly Jimin is surprised to see all his friends standing there. He is greeted with Tae’s boxy grin as he holds up bottles of Soju, Jin and Namjoon carrying backs of take-out and other junk food. Jungkook and Hoseok follow in after them, the younger’s gaze softening when he looks at Jimin. Jungkook tenderly touches Jimin’s cheek while Jimin mouths “ _I’m sorry_ ” which makes the younger grin. Lastly Yoongi walks in and after Jimin shuts the door he turns to face the older who uncharacteristically pulls him in for a tight hug.

“I’m sorry… For everything.” Yoongi says softly as he lets go of Jimin.

Jimin smiles, “I’m sorry too Hyung.” Yoongi smiles back at Jimin, but he can’t hide the sadness behind his smile. “Just don’t feel sorry for me okay?” Jimin asks him with sincerity. Yoongi gives Jimin’s shoulder a squeeze as Hoseok jumps up off the couch.

“Jiminie! Come eat.” Hoseok pulls Jimin onto the couch next to him and ruffles up his pink hair while he grins. Taehyung shoves a drink in his hand while the others start opening the containers of food chatting excitedly. 

Jimin takes a minute to glance around at everyone before he rubs the back of his neck and smiles shyly to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed back always appreciated!  
> Thank you for reading.
> 
>  
> 
> Tumblr -- CLburr03


	17. Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr -- CLBurr03
> 
> Only one more chapter left!  
> Thanks to everyone who has been reading I appreciate all the comments  
> I really do enjoy reading them even if I don't get the chance to answer them all.
> 
> <3<3

Jimin finally places the single white rose on top of the headstone.  He had been standing in the same spot for nearly twenty minutes.  He crouches down before reaching out slowly and brushing some dirt off the headstone, his fingers lingering over his Mother’s name.  He lets out a sniffle before retracting his hand quickly to wipe away a stray tear sliding down his cheek.  Jimin folds his arms on his knees and rests his forehead against them as more tears cloud his vision.  He decides to let them fall this time.

 

He doesn’t move right away when he hears a soft honk of a car horn.  One of the staff members had driven him to the cemetery, but they had a flight to catch to Daegu in less than two hours.  Jungkook and Taehyung had wanted to come here with him, but this was something Jimin wanted to do alone.  He finally drags himself up, sparing one last glance at the white rose, his Mother’s favorite flower, before turning around and not looking back.

 

 

**November 2017 ( 5 months later)**

 

 _Gawdy_ … That was the only word that came to Jimin’s mind as he stared blankly at the wallpaper across from him.  It was a deep red with gold leaves randomly spread a crossed it, he hated the walls, he hated this room, hated this penthouse.  Jimin can’t help the grunt that escapes as the person above him shifts, the hand on the back of his neck pushing the side his face further into the mattress.  Kim Jihoon always liked it rough, he loved to see Jimin try to hide his limp as he left his penthouse apartment every week.

 

He could feel the leather straps that bound his wrists tight behind his back digging into his skin painfully.  Jimin wondered if they were going to leave marks this time.  He drooled helplessly around the leather ball gag that was fitted snuggly in his mouth as he tried to shut off his brain as Mr. Kim thrusted into him harder.  Jimin chooses to focus on one of the gold leaves because the older man was taking longer than usual, Jimin wished he would just hurry up and get off, literally and figuratively, so he could leave. 

 

Jimin couldn’t help wondering what sex with Jungkook would be like, seeing as he was the only one that was able to get Jimin’s dick hard.  He imagined Jungkook would be gentle, and kind, he would want Jimin to feel good too.  Because that’s what normal relationships were like right?  Jimin pushes the younger out of his mind, he doesn’t want to give Mr. Kim the satisfaction of thinking Jimin was aroused by this, because he fucking isn’t.

 

 _I hate you…I hate you…I hate you_.  Jimin repeats the mantra over and over again trying to retreat to the farthest corner of his mind as Mr. Kim pushes deeper into him, finally finding his release.  The older man runs one hand down the length of Jimin’s spine, stopping at his hip, “Beautiful.”  Mr. Kim hums to himself as he unties Jimin’s wrists.  A sickening shiver runs down Jimin’s spine at the unexpected compliment.  Once Jimin’s hands are free Jihoon pushes him onto his side as the older man stands up and starts getting dressed.  Jimin curls into himself as he waits to be left alone, as Mr. Kim heads to the door he pauses briefly turning his head to the side.  “Get dressed, I’ll be in the kitchen.” 

 

Jimin frowns from his position on the bed, he doesn’t move until the door is shut and he’s left alone.  He rolls onto his stomach and buries his face into one of the pillows and screams.

 

Jimin takes his time getting dressed and takes an even longer time walking to the kitchen.  Mr. Kim’s request didn’t sit right with him.  Jimin never stayed, he was never expected to, once Mr. Kim was finished with him he would disappear into his study while Jimin got dressed and left.

 

Jimin stands in the doorway of the large galley kitchen, watching as the older man leans against the island and swirls his glass of scotch around idly.  He glances up when he notices Jimin’s presence and smirks, he motions to a second glass sitting on the counter next to him.  “Would you like a drink?”

 

Jimin swallows around the lump forming in his throat, “No.”  He whispers.

 

Jihoon shrugs one shoulder slightly, “Suit yourself.  I thought you would appreciate a drink.”

 

Jimin’s eyes betray him as he glances towards the set of large kitchen knives.  Mr. Kim follows his gaze and chuckles low in his chest.  “Go ahead.”

 

Jimin doesn’t move, he stares at the older man, “What do you want?” He finally grits out.

 

Mr. Kim places his glass down after taking a sip, “Well… My intention was to have a drink with you.  But I’ll just cut to the chase.  When are you going to be done with this little game of yours?”

 

“What?” Jimin asks after a moment of confusion.

 

“Whenever you’re done playing _popstar_ let me know… I have more than enough money to support your lifestyle.”

 

Jimin glares, “You want me to live here… With _you_?”

 

Jihoon nods nonchalantly, “Well, yes… And in my house in Busan, and when I travel for business you will attend… You’re mine Jimin, and I would appreciate having what is mine around.”

 

Jimin refuses to say anything because the matter is fucking ridiculous.  Mr. Kim slowly makes his way over to him stopping in front of Jimin.  He takes a hold of the younger’s jaw and places a rough kiss against Jimin’s lips.

 

Jimin pulls back almost immediately and brings his hand up to his lips.  They don’t kiss, they fuck, well actually Jimin gets fucked and then he leaves.  There was nothing intimate about their exchange, so where this was coming from Jimin had no idea.

 

Mr. Kim watches Jimin’s reaction with amusement, before turning and heading down the hall to his study.  “See yourself out Jimin… Goodnight, I look forward to seeing you next week.”

 

Jimin roughly rubs his lips with the back of his hand as he practically runs out of the penthouse.  He calls for a taxi once he’s outside, he told everyone that he was staying late at the practice room again.  That was always his excuse, he knew it wasn’t a very solid lie but what else could he tell them.

 

 

The next morning Jimin sits in the waiting room of the therapist’s office, it was his fourth session with her, once a week, that was his new routine.  Sejin unfortunately had not been lying when he said Bang PD had wanted Jimin to see a therapist when they arrived back home.    

 

Jimin pulls his black baseball cap down lower trying to cover his pink hair as much as possible, and slouches farther into his seat, he makes sure his facemask is on properly before stealing another quick glance at the young girl seated across from him.  She keeps staring, and Jimin wonders if she recognizes him.  He squirms again and nearly sighs with relief when the Therapist opens her door and motions for Jimin to come in.

 

He greets her politely and sits down on the couch, while she settles in her chair across from him, adjusting her notepad and clicking her pen a few times before she smiles at Jimin patiently.

 

Jimin stares down at his hands, as he crumples his facemask again and again.  His forth session and he has barely said two words to the lady sitting in front of him.

 

She clears her throat, “So Jimin… This is my fourth time meeting with you and I feel like I barely know you… Do you know why you are here?”

 

Jimin rolls his eyes and begins picking at a stray thread on the arm of the couch, “Because I have to be.”

 

She nods slightly, “I know it seems that way, but therapy can be very helpful and rewarding… I’m not here to pass judgement.”

 

Jimin can’t hide the snort he lets out as he finally looks up at her, “You know why I’m here… I know they told you.  I’m sure you had to sign some contract with BigHit so you wouldn’t blab about me.”

 

The therapist smiles sincerely as he writes something down on her notepad before looking at Jimin again.  “Yes, you’re correct… Do you think the company made the right decision by having you come see me?”

 

Jimin shrugs, “Sure.” _Lie number one._

 

“Have you had any desire to take prescription opioids since your stay at the hospital?”  She watches Jimin patiently, looking for some type of reaction.

 

Jimin crosses his legs calmly, “No.”  _Lie number two_.

 

**One month ago**

 

_Jimin thumbed through his contacts on his phone as he sat on the floor in the practice room, he was the last one there for the night and it was getting late.  He knows he should just go home and go to sleep, but his thumb lingers over one name in his phone.  He hadn’t spoke to Daehyun in about a year.  They hadn’t seen each other in years but they would keep in touch through quick phone calls and sporadic texts.  It was nice, Jimin found it comforting he still kept in touch with his old friend._

_Jimin hits the call button and brings the phone up to his ear as it starts to ring.  After five rings he hears, “Park Jimin!!”_

_Jimin smiles at hearing the familiar voice, “Daehyun, hey.”_

_“To what do I owe this pleasure?”  Jimin notices it’s loud where ever Daehyun is and he hears him mumbling something to someone and after a moment its quiet._

_Jimin rubs the back of his neck, “Hey sorry if I’m bothering you… I was just-.” Jimin trails off_

_“Oh shut up dude, you’re not.  So what’s up?”  Daehyun askes._

_Jimin stands up and paces around the practice room, stopping once to glance at himself in the mirror.  His pink hair damp from sweat, his t-shirt hanging loosely on his shoulders, when was the last time he ate? He isn’t sure.  “Are you still going to school in Seoul?”_

_Daehyun laughs lightly as he takes a long inhale, Jimin assumes he’ smoking a cigarette, but knowing him it’s probably a joint.  “Yeah, if that’s what you want to call it… University sucks man, you were smart…”  Daehyun pauses for a few seconds while he lets out an exhale and Jimin hums on the other end of the line.  “I got my own place though.”_

_Jimin wipes some sweat off his neck, “No shit, how did you manage that?”_

_“The folks, I told them dorm life was hindering my studying and voila brand new studio apartment… You’ll have to come check it out.”_

_Jimin finds himself nodding even though he knows Daehyun can’t see him, “Yeah, how about tomorrow?”_

_Daehyun laughs again, “You really want to?... Can you find time in that busy schedule of yours?” His tone slightly sarcastic as Jimin rolls his eyes._

_“For you, sure.”_

_Daehyun lets out a snort this time, “Cool, I’ll text you my address… I’m having a party tomorrow so if you come late enough I’m sure everyone will be too stoned or drunk to recognize you… Uh maybe wear a hat though, cover up that pink hair of yours.”_

_It’s Jimin’s turn to laugh this time.  “Aww, you mean you noticed… Thought you said you didn’t like this kind of music.”_

_“I don’t… Just trying to stay up on current events is all”._

_Jimin starts collecting his things so he can head back to the dorm.  “Hey whatever you say, if you’re a fan just say it… Who’s your favorite? Is it V?... No don’t tell me, Jin?... No, you seem like a J-Hope kind of guy.”_

_Jimin just laughs when Daehyun responds, “See you tomorrow dick.”  Daehyun hangs up, no malice in his voice at all._

 

 

Jimin watches as the therapist scribbles something down in her notepad, she probably knows that he is completely full of shit, because ever since that night he has been taking pain pills again, courtesy of Daehyun.  Jimin’s eyes narrow as he focuses on the piece of thread, picking at it absent mindedly because he does feel guilty for using again.  It’s just everyone has been driving him insane, the rest of the guys are constantly walking on egg shells around him, afraid to say the wrong thing or make the wrong move.  Jimin just wants everything to go back to normal, back to the way things were before this damn tour.  Jungkook on the other hand has been patient, trying not to over step the boundaries Jimin finds himself creating.  Sometimes he finds himself climbing into Jungkook’s bed at night to help work out some of the days frustrations.  Drowning himself in Jungkook’s kisses and gentle touches.  But most of the time he is so disgusted with himself, he hides away in the practice room until the late hours of the night.  But all the while never allowing himself to get too intimate with Jungkook, because if he lets things go too far the younger will eventually find out that he’s broken.    

 

“It seems our time is up for today Jimin… There’s really nothing you would like to talk about?”  She closes her notepad slowly and drums her fingers on the cover.  Jimin stares down at his fingers while he shakes his head no.  She hums a little before asking, “Have you been eating well?”

 

Jimin’s eyes narrow as he looks back at her, _this question again_?  The therapist always asked him the same question at the end of every session.  It was an innocent enough question, mainly to try to get a rise out of Jimin, to get him talking.

 

“Yes.” Jimin replies softly.  _Lie number three._

 

**2 Weeks later**

 

Jimin watches himself in the mirror as he moves with the music, the song that is playing through the speakers is soft but powerful.  He spins elegantly, allowing himself to move freely, it had been so long since he just enjoyed dancing, so long since there was no choreography he was trying to drill into his brain.  It wouldn’t last too long though, soon enough they would be working on their next comeback and getting ready for another tour.  Jimin hears his phone go off, he doesn’t stop, knowing it was probably just Daehyun because Jimin is supposed to be stopping by shortly.

 

Jungkook packs up some of the food Jin had made for dinner, he noticed it was getting late and when he texted Jimin and the older didn’t answer, Jungkook figures he would head over to the practice room to try and get him to eat.  Jungkook smiles a little as he watches Jin and Namjoon talking quietly amongst themselves as they clean up the kitchen together.  Taehyung and Hoseok were lounging in the living room together arguing about what movie to watch.  He checks his phone seeing a text from Yoongi who is working in his studio and says he hasn’t seen Jimin leave yet.

 

As Jungkook heads to the practice room he takes a deep breath enjoying the brisk November air.  He makes sure his hood is secure on his head even though the streets are quiet he doubts he will run into anyone.  He lets his mind wander as he walks, checking his phone occasionally, he really wishes Jimin would just answer his texts.  The older was spiraling again, everyone was starting to take notice, Jimin was hardly sleeping, there were several times Jungkook had to wake him up from nightmares, and he was back to skipping meals on a regular basis.    As he nears BigHits studio he notices Jimin just now leaving, Jungkook goes to call out to him but holds back when he sees Jimin head in the opposite direction of home, he has his baseball cap pulled down low and puts his facemask on.  Jungkook knows he shouldn’t, but he follows Jimin anyways.

 

After following the older for several minutes, he notices Jimin pull his phone out of his pocket and begin scrolling through texts.  After a moment Jungkook’s own phone goes off, he quickly silences it, hoping Jimin didn’t hear his ringtone go off.  Jungkook glances down and sees the text is from Jimin.

 

**Still at the studio. Be home a little later.**

 

 Jungkook frowns when he reads the text, why was Jimin lying to him?  Ten minutes later Jimin stops at an apartment building, he makes a quick phone call then heads inside.

 

 

As Jimin waits for Daehyun to answer his door his phone rings, he glances down and sees Jungkook’s name flash across his screen, Jimin lets the call go into voicemail.  And lets out a sigh as Daehyun finally opens his door.  “Hey.”

 

“I can’t stay long.”  Jimin replies as he slips inside his friend’s apartment.  He follows Daehyun into the kitchen after giving a quick nod to his roommate. 

 

Daehyun gives Jimin the small bag of pills while Jimin shoves money into his hand.  Daehyun rolls his eyes, “You don’t need to pay me-..”

 

“Shut up, and take it… I’m not that poor kid anymore.”  Jimin slips the bag into his sweatshirt pocket.  Jimin shoots Daehyun a confused glance, “Why is there so much?”

 

Daehyun claps his hands together once in excitement while he grins, “I’ll be in Europe for a month… Paid in full by the folks, leaving Saturday morning.”

 

Jimin raises an eyebrow, “Don’t you have, I don’t know, classes?”

 

Daehyun shrugs lazily, “Yeah… They’re worried about me dropping out, they’re just hoping I graduate this year.  They think this trip will be all historical and shit and will get the “educational juices” flowing.”  Both him and Jimin laugh after realizing how dumb that sounds.  He motions to Jimin’s pocket after a moment, “So go easy with all that, I gave you more than enough.”

 

Jimin just nods before saying a quick goodbye, hoping Daehyun enjoys his trip as his phone starts ringing again.  He finally answers it when he is in the stairwell.  “Hey Kook.”

 

_“When are you coming home?”_

 

Jimin heads down the four flights of stairs taking two steps at a time, “I’ll be leaving the studio in a few minutes.”

 

_“You sure?”_

 

Jimin makes it down to the first floor quickly, pushing his way through the exit door at a jog.  He still holds the phone to his ear when he runs right into Jungkook.  Startled, Jimin drops his phone onto the pavement, “J-Jungkook?.”

 

Jungkook calmly bends down and grabs Jimin’s phone for him, “I didn’t know we got a new studio.”

 

“I was visiting a friend.”  Jimin replies softly.

 

Jungkook shakes his head a little before asking, “Then why did you lie when I texted you earlier and then just when I called you?”

 

“Why are you following me?”  Jimin questions as his eyes narrow.

 

Jungkook can sense the older getting defensive and he’s surprised at his own anger that surges through him.  “Ever think that maybe I was worried about you? ...That I was just trying to surprise you with dinner?… What’s going on Jimin?  You’ve been acting weird lately.”

 

Jimin shakes his head and chews on his bottom lip, “Nothing is going on-..”

 

“Then why are you here?!”  When Jimin just shakes his head again Jungkook’s anger escalates.  He’s not stupid, he’s had a feeling Jimin has been abusing pills again and he just wants the older to admit it, but he knows deep down he won’t.  Jungkook had taken the time to do his own research about the signs of relapse when he noticed Jimin acting different.

 

Jungkook steps closer to Jimin and starts grabbing at the pockets of his sweatshirt, Jimin stands still, and doesn’t put up much of fight while the younger find the pills.  Jungkook clutches the bag of pills in his fist, “I _fucking_ knew it.”  Jungkook turns on his heel without saying another word and starts heading down the street because he just wants to get home, he can’t do this right now, he’s afraid he will end up saying something he regrets. 

 

Jimin doesn’t know what to do at first because Jungkook’s anger has never been directed at him before, not like this. 

 

“Jungkook, wait!” Jimin chases after the younger, grabbing at his arm and spinning Jungkook back around to face him.  “J-Just let me explain.”

 

Jungkook lets Jimin turn him around before yanking his arm out of his grasp and pushing against his chest causing Jimin to stumble back.  “No!... I can’t do this anymore.”

 

Jimin can’t control the surprised squeak that he lets out once Jungkook pushes him.  Jimin glares at the younger, and the frustration he feels for himself and the situation they’re in comes out when he stupidly askes.  “This?... You can’t do this Jungkook?”  Jimin motions between the two of them with his hands before continuing.  “What the fuck are we even doing?”

 

That seems to infuriate the younger because Jungkook’s words come out in a rush.  “You push me away just to pull me back in… There are days you won’t even let me touch you.  And other days I wonder if you’re just using me to hook up with.”

 

Jimin shakes his head because it’s not true, he’s never thought so little of Jungkook, but Jungkook just pushes forward with his words.  He invades Jimin’s personal space as he unloads all his pent-up frustration.  “You won’t talk to me Jimin.  I want to know what’s going on in your head, I really do.”  Jimin stands still like a child being scolded, he eyes casted downward until Jungkook speaks again.

 

“You have no fucking idea, do you?... You have no idea that I’ve loved you since I was 15 years old…”  Jimin’s gaze snaps up, his eyes finding Jungkook’s who’s are filled with mixed emotion, his anger slowly ebbing away.  Jungkook brings his hand up to Jimin’s face, brushing his fingers down his cheek before he whispers, “You drive me crazy, you know that?….At times I feel like I know you so well.  I know what makes you laugh, I know you beat yourself up too much, you’re too critical of yourself when you’re already perfect… I know dance will always be your first love… But there is still so many times where you surprise me.”

 

Jungkook lets his hand fall from Jimin’s cheek and hang limply at his side.  Jimin’s heart hurts at the defeated look in his eyes.  “You always have this wall up.  And I just feel like you’re never going to let me in… I love you Jimin… But I need know if you have any feelings for me?... If there’s a hint of anything I swear I’ll keep trying.”

 

Jimin blanches, and licks his lips nervously as Jungkook stares back at him with hopeful eyes.  Does he love Jungkook? _yes_ , the realization hits Jimin hard, his eyes well up with tears but he can’t say the words.  He doesn’t deserve Jungkook, he never did.  The younger deserves someone who will take care of him just like he’s taken care of Jimin.

 

As the silence stretches out longer between the two of them Jungkook’s eyes widen slightly in disbelief because Jimin isn’t saying a goddamn thing.  Jimin watches as the hope Jungkook had in his eyes disappears into embarrassment and then they darken as he narrows his eyes at the smaller man. 

 

“I’m done.”  Jungkook’s voice cracks, he throws the pills back at Jimin, they bounce off his chest and fall the ground as he turns and walks away.  Jimin doesn’t make a move to pick up the pills.

 

Jimin stands there completely silent as he watches Jungkook slip through his fingers.  He covers his mouth too prevent himself from calling out to the younger as he watches him walk away.  This is the way it has to be, Jungkook will be able to move on better if he’s angry at him, instead of Jimin breaking his heart because that’s what would eventually happen.  Jimin would never be able to give Jungkook the kind of relationship he wants.  Eventually Jungkook would want to know more about his childhood, would ask him more questions about his family, because that’s what happened in normal relationships _right?_.  Jimin would eventually have to talk to Jungkook about his fucked-up arrangement with Kim Jihoon, especially if they were going to have any kind of normal sexual relationship.  He would have to talk to the younger about the inevitable fact that he was raped. 

 

 _Rape_.  The word bounces around Jimin’s mind.  He’s never actually said it out loud and has yet to admit it to himself let alone talk to Jungkook or anyone else about it.  He keeps the word buried deep within his psyche.

 

Jimin watches as Jungkook turns the corner, he clutches onto the front of his sweatshirt until his knuckles turn white and finally starts sobbing. The food Jungkook brought him lying forgotten on the ground.   


	18. Save Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I lied! ;)  
> I couldn't finish this fic in just one more chapter. I was afraid it was going to be too rushed.  
> So bare with me a little longer! ;P
> 
> Trigger warning for this chapter.
> 
> Tumblr -- CLburr03

Jimin’s out of the breath as he pushes his way into his friend’s apartment, duffle bag slung over one shoulder.  “Sorry I’m late.”  He breathes out.

 

“Shit, you run here?”  Daehyun asks as he grabs his own suitcase.  Jimin just nods as he catches his breath.  Daehyun motions to his hair, “You ditched the pink?”

 

Jimin brings his hand up to his damp black hair as if he had forgotten, before softly replying.  “Yeah… Figured I would draw too much attention.”

 

Daehyun gives Jimin an easy-going shrug, “You ready to go then?”

 

Jimin pauses for a moment, “… Yeah…”

 

**3 Days Earlier**

Jimin stares down at his phone, reading the text from Kim Jihoon, _why the fuck does he want to see me tonight?_   The group had just finished up a meeting with Bang PD, Sejin, and other members of the production team, and Jimin is exhausted.  After his falling out with Jungkook the night before he had barely slept.  And by the time he had gotten home the younger was not in their room, Jimin wasn’t sure where Jungkook had slept.

 

“Trouble in paradise?”  Jimin’s head snaps up, meeting Taehyungs playful eyes as he wiggles his eye brows at him.  Jimin just stares at him, “I heard Jungkookie asking Sejin about getting his own room?  Something about wanting more room for studio equipment.”

 

Jimin merely scoffs before brushing past Taehyung, ignoring the taller as he calls out to him.  “Jimin!... It was a joke.”

 

Jimin fidgets with the pills in the pocket of his jeans while he takes the long elevator ride up to Jihoon’s penthouse.  His bottom lip caught between his teeth as he rubs at his eyes, thoughts of Jungkook at every turn.  _I’m such as asshole._

Jimin finds the older man in his study arguing with someone over the phone.  The sleeves of his button-down shirt rolled up to his elbows, and his tie hanging loose around his neck, maybe in another life Jimin would have found him attractive.  _Fuck that!_  Jimin thinks to himself, before busying himself by looking at the books that line the dark wooden shelves.

 

“I told you not to bother me in here while I’m on the phone.”  Jihoon snaps as he hangs up the phone.

 

Jimin glares over at him before barking back, “You’re the one who needed me here on such short notice.  So fucking deal with it.”

 

A small smirk tugs at the corners of Mr. Kim’s lips.  “So defiant lately… Not sure if that attitude makes me want to fuck you or beat the shit out of you.”

 

“Are those my only options?”  The younger deadpans.

 

Jihoon just shakes his head slightly at Jimin before sighing, “You’re high right now, aren’t you?  I thought you would have quit that shit by now.”

 

 _Fuck you,_ is what Jimin really wants to say but instead.  “Why am I here Jihoon.”  Jimin tries to pretend he doesn’t see the spark of fondness in Mr. Kim’s eyes when Jimin actually says his first name.  He hates the way the older man has been looking at him lately.

 

Mr. Kim reaches into one the drawers in his desk and pulls out a plain folder.  He tosses it onto the edge of his desk towards Jimin’s direction.  Jimin doesn’t move until Mr. Kim nods at it.  The younger flips the folder open staring at the contents.  _Pictures_ … Pictures of Jungkook from the night before when he was walking to the studio to surprise Jimin with some dinner.  Pictures of him and Jungkook arguing, Jimin stops at a picture where Jungkook is standing close to him, the youngers hand on his cheek.  _“I love you Jimin”_ Jungkook’s words echo in Jimin’s mind as he clutches the picture.

 

“What the fuck is this?”  Jimin looks back up at Mr. Kim, frantically searching the other man’s eyes.

 

Jihoon calmly leans back in his chair.  “I wanted to make it clear to you where I stand on my threat.” 

 

“You had him _followed_!?”  Jimin yells, slamming the pictures down on the desk.  And with one sweep of his arms he sends the pictures along with a few personal desk items crashing to the floor.

 

Mr. Kim doesn’t even blink at Jimin’s outburst, he watches the younger’s reaction carefully before slowly standing up.  “You care about him… The young one there.”  He points to the picture of Jungkook with his hand on Jimin’s cheek.  “Do you have feelings for him?”

 

Jimin’s chest rises and falls quickly, his heart rate increasing as he watches Mr. Kim scoop up the picture to get a better look at it, but Jimin remains silent.

 

The older man circles around the desk, stopping in front of Jimin.  “Do you have feelings for him!?!” He shouts in Jimin’s face, crumpling up the picture in his hand.

 

Now it’s Jimin’s turn not to flinch, maybe it’s the courage from the high but right before his slow ass brain can tell his mouth to _shut the fuck up,_ he spits out.  “I _hate_ you.  You sick _fuck_.”

 

Jihoon growls as he grabs onto Jimin’s hair and gives a hard tug.  “Oh, you want to play that game?”  He spins Jimin around and bends him over the desk, making sure to roughly hit Jimin’s head against the desk as he pins him down, pressing his face into the oak.  Mr. Kim presses his body up against Jimin’s in a show of dominance as he bends down to whisper in his ear.  “You hate me, huh?”  When Jimin says nothing Mr. Kim chuckles.  “I’ll make you hate me.”

 

The older man stands up straight pulling Jimin with him by his hair.  Jimin fights him the whole way as Mr. Kim drags him into his bedroom, belittling Jimin the whole time.  “I like to think I’ve been pretty lenient with you.  But when dogs misbehave they need to be punished.”  He forces Jimin onto his knees after slamming the bedroom door.  “You know you’re _always_ going to be _weak_.”  The older man disappears into this closet for a second while Jimin rubs the back of head warily.  Once Jihoon is standing in front of Jimin again he pulls the youngers shirt up over his head and tosses it across the room.  He grabs Jimin’s chin and forces him to look up at him.  “Hands _behind_ your _back_.”  Jimin stubbornly ignores him, turning his head away from Mr. Kim’s grasp and hanging his head low.

 

“Such a bad dog.”  Jihoon mumbles mostly to himself.  He makes his way around Jimin and with the rope he had grabbed he roughly ties Jimin’s hands behind his back.  Jimin lets out a shaky breath when Jihoon slips a blindfold over his eyes and secures it behind his head.  Mr. Kim walks around Jimin in a slow circle, Jimin stays still, forcing his breathing to stay calm until he hears the sound of the older man’s belt being undone. He hears the slide of the leather against Jihoon’s expensive suit pants.

 

Jimin starts to worry when the older man is quiet for too long, he knows Mr. Kim is just trying to make him nervous because it’s working surprisingly well.  Suddenly the loud crack followed by the searing pain on his back startles him, Jimin gasps, leaning forward trying to move away from the source of the pain.

 

“Oh no you don’t.”  Jihoon grabs a hold of Jimin’s hair pulling him back so his back is straight.  He brings the belt down swiftly across Jimin’s back once again.  Jimin cries out as the belt makes contact with his skin over and over and over again.

 

When Mr. Kim is satisfied with his work Jimin is lying flat on his stomach, whole body trembling from pain.  Forehead pressed into the carpet, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth to bite back sobs.  His back feels like it’s on fire, angry, red welts paint his skin, across the entire span of his back and spilling over onto his triceps. 

 

Mr. Kim reaches down untying the blindfold that is damp from Jimin’s tears.  The older man pulls Jimin back up into his knees.  A groan bubbles up from Jimin’s throat as his body protests the new position.  He slumps forward a little, trying to ease the burning sting in his back, flinching as the wounds stretch and shift.  Jimin grinds his teeth together after a whimper slips past his lips.

 

His head hangs low, chin resting against his chest while Mr. Kim stands in front of him.  The older man nudges Jimin’s thigh with his shoe, “Look at me,” he states coldly.  Jimin lifts his head and meets Jihoon’s gaze, his eyes flicking back and forth between Jihoon’s eyes, his own gaze unsteady.

 

“You know I don’t like punishing you… But you need to learn.”  The older man reaches down, cupping Jimin’s chin with his hand and runs his thumb across the youngers bottom lip.  Jimin breaks eye contact, glancing past Jihoon.  The older clicks his tongue, letting go of Jimin’s chin, he reaches down picking up the blindfold he had discarded on the floor.

 

Jimin’s eyes flash as he watches Mr. Kim, he looks panicked as the older man approaches him again.  Jimin shakes his head as he frantically tugs at the restraints around his wrists, but they don’t budge.

 

Jimin opens his mouth to speak, but all that comes out at first is a clipped groan.  “No, no, no.  Stop… _Please_.”  The angry voice in his head tells him he’s pathetic for begging.

 

A sob racks his small frame as Mr. Kim slips the blindfold over his eyes securing it behind his head again.  Jimin doesn’t think he can take anymore from that belt.  He needs to be able to practice and move around like nothing is wrong.

 

But no other sounds come from Jimin once he hears the older man unzip his pants.  Jimin lets his body go into autopilot, quieting any frantic emotions from bubbling up to the surface.  He tries to dissociate from the current events as he feels Jihoon grab ahold of his hair, tilting his head back at an awkwardly painful angle.

 

Jihoon growls out, “You fucking try anything, I’ll hurt him.”  _Him?_  Jimin wonders if he means Jungkook.  Jimin’s mind wanders back to the pictures and he starts to get angry before Jihoon forces his dick down Jimin’s throat making the younger gag.  New tears stain the blindfold as the older starts fucking his throat raw without easing up once.

 

When Mr. Kim comes Jimin is caught off guard when they older man finishes across his face.  Jimin sputters and tries to turn his head but he is held in place.  Less than a minute later he is being lifted up painfully, Jihoon grabs a hold of his arms right underneath his armpit and drags him to the door.  He flings the bedroom door open and shoves Jimin into the hallway before slamming the door shut without another word.

 

Jimin lands gracelessly on the floor, he rolls onto his side still blindfolded and bound.  Panic claws at his chest and he feels nauseated and demoralized in his current position.  He lies there for nearly five minutes before he hears a pair of heavy boots headed towards him.  Jimin curls into himself, trying to appear smaller even though he knows who it is.  There are only two other people in the penthouse besides himself.  _Vlad._

 

He notices the foot steps falter as they get closer, and he hears the Russian man mumble ‘Shit’ in English.  Jimin lets out a shaky sigh of relief when the foot steps retreat, he wonders how long Jihoon is going to leave him tied up in this pathetic state.  He lies there stubbornly refusing to call out for the older man.

 

Jimin is startled when the heavy foot steps return, he jerks back when he suddenly feels a warm, wet washcloth wiping at his face, cleaning up the degrading mess Mr. Kim left behind.  A hand lands on his shoulder firmly to stop his squirming.

 

Jimin tenses when he is rolled onto his stomach.  Suddenly acutely aware that he is shirtless still, he hears curse words being mumbled above him as the other man attempts to free Jimin’s hands.

 

The younger only begins to struggle when his hands are finally freed, he reaches up to his face and yanks the blindfold up and over his head.  He stands up quickly, ignoring the twinges of pain from his back.

 

Jimin refuses to look at Vlad, even when he silently hands Jimin his shirt back to him.  The younger hisses as his shirt glides down his back, over the welts.  Jimin’s cheeks turn red at the show of weakness in front of the other man who has never paid any attention to him.  _I must have looked like a total mess for him to want to help._

 

The younger shakes his head slightly, letting his pink bangs fall into his eyes as he keeps his head down while he turns away to head for the door.  He can’t even bring himself to utter a ‘Thank you’, he just needs to get away from this place before he mentally breaks down.

 

“I can drive you back.”  Jimin stops so fast he almost trips, he turns and stares at the Russian man.  Never has he ever heard Vlad attempt to speak Korean, nor has the other man acted like he understood it.  Every time Jihoon spoke to him it was in English.  Jimin takes a moment to just look at him, his natural blonde hair buzzed short to his skull, his piercing blue eyes held no disdain in them for once.

 

“No,” Jimin replies sternly, turning back around and grabbing his jacket on the way out.

 

Vlad follows him to the elevator anyways.  “Let me drive you to the studio at least.”  He says it with such conviction that Jimin doesn’t have it in him to argue, after tonight there isn’t much left emotionally anyways.  His shoulders slump as he follows Vlad to the underground parking garage, he remains silent as he climbs into the back of the heavily tinted black Audi.

 

Jimin wants to ask Vlad why he helped him, why now? But he doesn’t.  He does ask the question that he’s pretty sure he already knows the answer to.  “Were you the one that took those pictures of Jungkook?”

 

The other man doesn’t say anything for a while, so Jimin takes his silence as a confirmation.  But then his eyes flick to Jimin’s in the rearview mirror.  “I wasn’t going to hurt him… I won’t”

 

Several minutes pass before Vlad speaks up again.  “Kim Jihoon is brash and arrogant, but he’s not ignorant.  If anything starts happening to your friends or their families an investigation will be started… He only wants you.”  Jimin stares out his side window as Vlad continues.  “If you’re not here, he’ll have no control.”  That brings Jimin’s attention back, he sees Vlad give him a quick glance again through the mirror.  “His previous secretary is trying to press charges, but no one will touch her case because of who he is, no one believes her… But you, people may believe you.”

 

 _Of course, there are others_ Jimin sneers, he’s not sure what he is supposed to do with this vague information Vlad has given him but he begins thinking it over in his head.

 

Vlad drops him off at the studio just like he said he would, and Jimin makes his way back to the dorm.  It’s late and most of the members are in their rooms for the night.  Jungkook, Yoongi and Namjoon are in the living talking about studio equipment, at least that’s all Jimin can pick up on as he makes his way to his room.  He pauses on his way to the bathroom, glancing at Jungkook’s bed, all the pillows are missing, the comforter is gone now, only the fitted sheet remains on the mattress.  Jimin just sighs and locks himself in the bathroom.  He wants to shower, even contemplates how much his back would really hurt if he did, but decides the welts are too raw right now and it would be best to wait until morning.  So instead he gags on his tooth brush for nearly ten minutes, and gargles about half the bottle of mouth wash.

 

All Jimin wants to do is curl up and sleep but he finds it hard to ignore his growling stomach at this moment.  He doesn’t even remember what he ate earlier today.  Avoiding the living room, he makes his way into the kitchen where he starts poking around inside the fridge.  Someone walks into the kitchen while Jimin still has his head in the fridge, so he turns around catching Jungkook just before he leaves. 

 

“Kook?”  Jimin feels a pang of guilt as he watches the youngers shoulder tense up when Jimin calls out to him.  Clearly Jungkook had been trying to sneak out of the kitchen without being noticed.

 

“What?”  Jungkook turns around slowly.

 

“Umm” Jimin fidgets with the container of rice in his hands, glancing around, trying to look at anything other than Jungkook.  The confidence he had been feeling ten seconds ago no longer exists.  “Do you think?... Umm.”

 

Jimin falters again and Jungkook looks almost annoyed.  “I’m busy… So?”

 

Jimin nods, “Yeah, sorry… Do you think we could talk later?... Alone?”  Jimin spares a quick glance into the living room to see if Namjoon or Yoongi are paying attention.  They don’t seem to be but Jimin keeps his voice low anyways.

 

Unlike Jimin though, Jungkook doesn’t seem to care who hears.  “No… Like I said I’m busy.   And I really just need some space.”

 

 _Space…_ Jimin tries not to look surprised that Jungkook won’t even talk to him.  “oh- uh… Yeah, I know… I just thought that’s what you wanted- to talk?”

 

The younger shakes his head, “All I want right now is space.”  He sighs when Jimin just stares at him.  “Listen Jimin, I need to take a step back… I need to learn how to just be your friend again, it’s going to take some time.”

 

Without even thinking Jimin steps towards Jungkook, reaching out to him, he’s not even sure what he’s doing, looking for comfort?  He just wants to fucking talk.

 

Jungkook has to look away, he can’t look into Jimin’s sad eyes and not give in.  His words come out harsher than he intended, “Just leave me _alone_.”

 

His words have the desired effect though, Jimin’s hand drops to his side and he looks away from the younger before whispering “Oh- okay”.  Without another word Jungkook leaves the kitchen.

 

 

Jimin stares after the younger appalled, _friends? This is all my fault, he’s just trying to protect himself_ , he practically throws the container of rice back into the fridge before he stomps back to his room and slams the door.

 

Yoongi just stares at the TV pretending he didn’t hear anything that was going on in the kitchen when Jungkook comes back and drops onto the couch next to Namjoon.

 

Namjoon watches Jimin disappear back in his room and once the door slams he looks over at Jungkook.  “Kook, you should go talk to him.”  Jungkook just shakes his head pretending to be preoccupied with whatever is on TV.

 

Jimin sits on the edge of his bed, bending over putting his head between his knees replaying what Vlad was telling him on the drive home.  He can’t go to the police, they wouldn’t be able to do anything without evidence.  And Mr. Kim would just pay his way out of bail, buy the best lawyers, the trial would be a joke because Jimin knows for a fact he wouldn’t be able to handle a public trial.  Not the way his emotional and mental state were hanging on by threads these days.  And he could just imagine the questions he would have to answer, he would have to talk about the first time, something that even to this day will forever be burned into his memory.  _Large, rough hands holding him down, hot breath hitting the back of his neck, blood on the sheets_.  Would he have to admit he willingly lived with Kim Jihoon for a few years? And what about the parties, the people Mr. Kim would bring up to his room, the other people he was forced to have sex with.  Jimin tries to pull back before his thoughts start spiraling even more.  Shame overwhelming him, making his skin burn.  Maybe he could talk to a reporter, but which one?  He knew of one that Bang PD was friends with, he could probably get her number.  And how would he contact this assistant Vlad was talking about, Jimin wasn’t even smart enough to ask for her name!  Jimin groans and throws his hands up completely aggravated with himself.

 

If Jimin was really going to do this, he needed a plan.  His hands shake as he reaches for his phone.  He sends one text, and as he waits for a reply he can’t help thinking about Jungkook.  _I should have known he wasn’t going to want anything to do with me._ Jimin jumps when his phone goes off, he glances over and looks at the reply, when he sees a simple thumbs up emoji he can’t help but smile.

 

 

The next afternoon Jimin sneaks away after mumbling something to Taehyung about having lunch with a friend, and that he would meet up with them all later at practice.  Jimin messes with his phone as he takes the elevator up to Mr. Kim’s apartment, he had to sneak by security in the lobby because Jihoon wasn’t expecting him today. 

 

After ringing the doorbell for the penthouse, he tucks his phone into his back pocket of his jeans after he switches on the camera and hits record.  He hopes he can record long enough to get what he wants.  After a nearly sleepless night he figured he can’t talk to the reporter without giving her something.  So, he was hoping to record Kim Jihoon incriminating himself by saying something, _anything,_ whether it was regarding Jimin himself, or one of his assistants.

 

After a minute Vlad opens the door, looking only mildly surprised but he lets Jimin in without saying a word.  Vlad nods towards the study before disappearing into the kitchen.  Jimin slowly walks down the hall, trying to swallow the lump in his throat, _this is only going to work if I act like I’m apologizing for last night._ The marks on Jimin’s back are still sore, the redness and bruising are going to take a while to go away, every time he moves it’s a reminder of his punishment.

 

Mr. Kim doesn’t look up from his computer when Jimin first enters, but when he finally does he doesn’t look very happy.  The older man freezes when Jimin stands in front of his desk, not out of fear, but annoyance.  He leans back in his desk chair, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

 

Jimin swallows the bile threatening to come up.   If he doesn’t start talking now he might throw up all over the older man’s desk, Jimin almost laughs at that thought, be he refrains.  “Apologizing… For last night.”

 

Mr. Kim’s eyes narrow out of disbelief.  He watches Jimin, as the younger wanders around his office for a moment.  “ _Jimin?_ …”  His tone is a warning, demanding an answer.

 

Jimin feigns innocence as he glances back at the older man before mumbling, “I saw my father, when we were in Busan.”  Jimin’s heart pounds in his chest as he remembers seeing his father again, remembers what his father said, _I know about him… faggott._  Jimin’s been called a lot of things by his father, but never that.

 

The older man scoffs while he leans back in his chair, “And how’s the old man?”

 

Jimin just shrugs, looking down at his shoes before he finally gets the courage to ask what has been on his mind for months now.  “He said something that I didn’t expect… Does he know about you?... About this?”

 

Jihoon remains silent for long time while he stares at Jimin.  Finally, a sigh escapes his lips, “Do you honestly think I was there that night to play a game of poker with some lowly employees of mine?”  Jimin opens his mouth but nothing comes out.  “With your mother gone, your father was having a hard time paying the bills. He was on the verge of losing the house when he came to me for help… Gave me some bullshit about the house being the last piece of your mother he had left.  So, I took care of the mortgage, paid everything off.  But he had to give me something in return… And that was you, Jimin.”

 

Jimin’s world crumbles, he stands frozen as his mind reels.  He _knew_ his father hated him, but _this,_ this was something he hadn’t even fathomed.  His own father knew the whole time, knew that every Friday night Mr. Kim was coming over to play that stupid _fucking_ card game, that at the end of the night Mr. Kim would find his way into Jimin’s room.  It explains why he was always so adamant that Jimin stayed home on Friday nights.

 

A panicked whimper leaves Jimin’s lips.  _I can’t do this… I can’t do this,_ Jimin looks towards the door wondering if he should leave, wondering if he should run.  He is startled when Jihoon stands up with a slight look of concern on his face.  “Are you going to pass out?”  He askes the younger.

 

Jimin’s eyes widen when the older man approaches him, he throws his hand out in a weak attempt to fend the other man off, which causes Mr. Kim to stop in his tracks.  Jimin has to get it together, suddenly remembering his phone, which is still recording, and why he came here, the nameless assistant who deserves to be able to press charges for whatever the older man may have done to her.  Mr. Kim needs to learn that he can’t own people, that he can’t just take what he wants without any consequences. 

 

Jimin suddenly has a sickening thought, his eyes sting as he stares down at the ground before finding the courage to look back up at Jihoon.  With his jaw clenched he grits out, “Were there other children?”

 

Jimin watches as the other man’s face scrunches up in confusion and he licks his lips, looking almost uncomfortable.  “ _What_?” he finally spits out.

 

“I deserve an honest answer, don’t I?”  Jimin stands his ground, forcing his gaze not to waver.

 

Mr. Kim paces in front of his desk, and for a moment Jimin doesn’t think he is going to answer.  “I have wealthy acquaintances, that have specific tastes, I try to keep them satisfied…So yes… Just one before you, he wasn’t strong enough though.”  The older man rubs his jaw in thought, “he was a few years older than you were when I first met you, but he ultimately took his own life… That’s why you’ve always been special Jimin.”  The younger tries not to cringe when Jihoon walks over to him, he stands uncomfortably close, bringing his hand up, he drags his fingertips down Jimin’s cheek.

 

Jimin stares back at Mr. Kim with wide eyes, _special?..._ More like weak, if Jimin had just gone to the police when he was younger, maybe Mr. Kim wouldn’t have been able to hurt anyone else, maybe he would be in jail right now.

 

Jimin’s mouth feels dry when he finally speaks again, “You’re… You’re a _Rapist_ ” Something Jimin’s know all to well for years, but actually saying it is sickening.

 

A bitter smile spreads across Mr. Kim’s face, not reaching his eyes.  “More like an opportunist my sweet boy.”  Jihoon sighs, and waves his hand dismissively, clearly done with the conversation.  “None of it matters, when you have something everyone wants whether it be wealth or power you’re untouchable… I don’t know why you needed to know all this, it’s not going to fix what’s going on in your own head.”

 

Jimin flinches when Mr. Kim taps his temple.  Jimin wants to scream, he tries to control his own body as he starts to tremble.  _I’m this way because of you… I’m fucked up because of you!_  Jimin wants to cry, but he swallows down the feeling because this is what he essentially came here for. 

 

“Now how do you purpose you’re going to apologize to me?”  Jihoon raises as eyebrow at the younger man.

 

 _Oh shit,_ Jimin had forgotten about that, he follows the older mans gaze towards the bedroom, but he backs away and pulls his phone out of his pocket.  “I uh- should text one of the guys I might be late to practice.”  Jimin uses the excuse to finally stop the recording, he takes a few seconds longer and pretends he’s texting someone.

 

Someone clears their throat from the door way of the office.  Jimin and Mr. Kim both glance over at Vlad, who stands there with his hands clasps behind his back.  “Sorry to interrupt, but should we leave for your meeting now?”  He is speaking in English so Jimin doesn’t get all of what is being said.

 

Mr. Kim reluctantly nods, “I suppose so, see Jimin out will you Vlad.”

 

Jimin doesn’t move, he doesn’t think he can make his legs work.  Jimin doesn’t move until Vlad walks over and gently takes a hold of his upper arm and starts guiding him out of the room.  Once they reach the kitchen Jimin snatches his arm away from Vlad, he turns and glares up at the Russian man.  “I don’t get you, all this time you knew _everything,_ and you chose to do _nothing.”_ Jimin’s voice is barley above a whisper as he shakes his head out of anger or self-pity he’s not sure.

 

Before Vlad opens the door for Jimin he presses a piece of paper into the palm of his hand.  “I know.” Is all he says before walking away.

 

 

Jimin is about 30 minutes late to practice.  His phone feels like it’s burning a hole in his pocket with the content he has on it.  Now he just needs to get it off his phone and onto a flash drive, he’ll have to do that later though.  Jimin’s body is stiff during practice because he’s still sore from last night with Mr. Kim.  Their choreographer takes notice, giving Jimin a hard time throughout most of the practice.

 

Jimin opts to stay late, Hoseok decides to stay with him, while the others start filing out of the practice room, Hobi calls out.  “Jungkook why don’t you stay with me and Jiminie.”  Jimin quickly glances over at Hoseok before he looks over at Jungkook, who makes eye contact with him before he shakes his head at Hoseok and turns to leae.  Jimin feels a slight blush on his cheeks when Hoseok looks over at him with a confused look.  It was obvious something was going on between Jimin and Jungkook, but neither were talking about it.

 

Jimin clenches his fists before he follows Jungkook out into the hallway.  He grabs onto the youngers arm before he can leave, “Jungkook.”

 

“ _Don’t”_ Jungkook answers curtly, causing the pink-haired man to release his arm rather quickly.  He turns to face Jimin who goes to say something but Jungkook interrupts him.  “Why were you late Jimin?”  He glances around to make sure no one else is listening.  “Did you go back to that apartment?”

 

Jimin quickly realizes the younger is talking about Daehyun’s apartment.  He shakes his head, “No… No, I didn’t- Jungkook _please.”_  Jimin begs Jungkook to listen, to give him a chance to explain himself.  But he can tell by the hardness in Jungkook’s eyes the he doesn’t believe him though.  Jimin can’t really blame the younger, but he can’t deny that it hurts, causing an ache to bloom deep in his chest.  His heart sinks as Jungkook turns away, apparently done with their conversation.

 

Jimin tries to push down the frustration bubbling up.  He wants to yell and  stomp his foot like a child throwing a tantrum, but he doesn’t.  “You said you’d never give up on me.”  He calls to Jungkook before the younger reaches the door.

 

Jungkook stops, his eyes fluttering shut when he hears the disheartening tone in Jimin’s voice.  He almost turns around, _god_ how much he wants to.  He can tell something is weighing heavy on the older.  But Jungkook can’t help indulging the selfish part of him that wants to protect himself.  He has tried to get Jimin to open up on numerous occasions, and he’s failed every time.  A bitter part of him wants Jimin to miss him, wants the older to realize how much he wants Jungkook.  Because Jungkook wants nothing more than that, wants Jimin to be his, just as much as he desires to be Jimin’s.  But if he caves in now, if he turns around he’ll just end up letting Jimin walk all over him again.  Jungkook eventually does turn around though, but Jimin has already disappeared back into the practice room.

 

Later that night when Hoseok goes home, Jimin quietly sneaks into Namjoon’s studio, he always leaves it unlocked, Jimin isn’t sure if he just trusts everyone or if he is just forgetful.  Jimin is nearly silent as he connects his phone to the computer pulling the audio file off his phone and transfers it to his flash drive.  Jimin had almost forgotten about the piece of paper that he was carrying around from Vlad.  He pulls it out of his pocket while he waits for Namjoon’s computer to shut back down, unfolding the small paper he stares at the name scribbled on it, a woman’s name, it must be the name of Jihoon’s old Secretary.

 

Two hours have gone by from the last time Yoongi looked at the clock, it’s almost 12:30 in the morning and he’s having a hard time keeping his eyes open.  After shutting his computer down and locking up his studio he walks down the hall.  It’s always been a habit for him to take a quick peek in the practice room before he leaves just to see if any of the other guys are still there.  When he walks by he’s not surprised to see Jimin, the younger is usually always there when Yoongi is leaving for the night. 

 

Yoongi doesn’t usually stick around, usually doesn’t care who is practicing late but something makes him stop and turn around.  He finds Jimin sitting on the floor against the mirror, fidgeting with something small in his hands.  Yoongi clears his throat even though he knows Jimin is aware he’s there, “Hey. You- uh going home soon?” he watches as the younger merely shrugs one shoulder.

 

Yoongi pauses at the door, unsure if he should just leave, Jimin doesn’t seem to give a shit, he hasn’t even looked up at him once.  But something is different, the younger barely looked anyone in the eyes today at practice, like he has some secret, and if he looks at anyone for too long he may break.  Yoongi inwardly sighs before he walks over and drops down next to the pink-haired man.  “I think I’ll hang out for a little bit.”

 

“Well, suit your fucking self.”  The reply catches the older off guard, so he glances at Jimin and lets out a loud breathless laugh.  Jimin suddenly glances at him realizing what he said.  “Sorry” he mumbles.

 

Yoongi shakes his head while he chuckles, “It’s okay… Kind of refreshing actually- you speaking your mind for once.”  He wonders if this is the real Jimin, maybe he caught a glimpse of something he wasn’t supposed to, and he kind of likes it.  He glances at the younger finally realizing what he is playing with in his hands, a small black flash drive.

 

Yoongi nods towards it even though Jimin isn’t looking at him, “What’s that?”

 

Jimin doesn’t say anything at first, but then he places the flash drive carefully on the floor in front of him, clasps his hands together and gives Yoongi a sideways glance.  “A way out.”

 

“Oh yeah?” The other man askes while watching Jimin.

 

Jimin nods, “Yeah… But- I think it’s going to hurt some people.”  His tone sounding saddened.

 

Yoongi studies the younger man’s profile, looks at the slope of his nose, the shape of his lips.  Jimin’s vagueness is a little off putting, but Yoongi accepts it, because for some reason he just has a feeling that whatever Jimin is talking about is bigger than the both of them right now.  “Well you know what I think?” The older askes after several minutes.

 

When he hears Jimin hum in acknowledgement he continues.  “I think… That whatever it is, if it’s going help you, make things better for you- you should do it... You deserve to put yourself first every once in awhile."

 

Jimin finally looks at him, the younger searches his eyes looking back and forth from one to the other.  Yoongi can’t find it in his heart to look away, Jimin looks so lost right now.  Jimin gives him a small smile that doesn’t reach his eyes before replying.  “I thought your career came first?” Mimicking the elder’s words from several months ago.

 

Now it’s Yoongi’s turn to look away, “Yeah.” He hums.  Then he looks back at Jimin, seriousness etched a crossed his features, “I guess I’m realizing- my career shouldn’t come before a friends wellbeing.”  He can’t help but smile when Jimin’s smile widens.  Then he gently bumps the youngers shoulder with his own.  “And hey… I promise that whatever is on there, I won’t be mad.”

 

Jimin looks away, shaking his head shyly, as Yoongi stands up asking, “Staying a bit longer I assume?”

 

Jimin nods while Yoongi heads to the door, suddenly Jimin calls out.  “Hyung!”  Yoongi pauses, turning back towards the younger.  Jimin smiles again, “Thank you.” The younger whispers.

 

Yoongi nods, “Any time Jimin… I mean it.”

 

As Yoongi leaves the studio and makes his way back to the dorm, it’s hard to ignore the unsettling feeling in his stomach that Jimin’s ‘thank you’ sounded more like a good-bye.

 

 

The next morning Jimin sits inside a small conference room across from the reporter he had contacted the day before.  She has her laptop open, listening to the recording Jimin had brought in.  When it ends she sits back in her chair and just stares at the computer screen before looking over at Jimin.  “That’s really Kim Jihoon?” When Jimin nods, her eyes widen slightly.  “Oh my _god_ … Jimin you should really go to the Police.”

 

A bitter smile tugs at his lips as he shakes his head at her.  “I will _not_ be part of an investigation… I _won’t_ be taking part of a trial.”  Jimin pulls out the piece of paper Vlad had given him and pushes it across the table towards the reporter.  “But I think she will… And I’m hoping this will help… You just need to contact her, all I have is her name I’m sorry.”

 

“But Jimin-” The reporter starts again but Jimin puts up his hand. 

 

“I _can’t_.” Jimin empathizes before continuing, “You know as much as I do, he won’t be spending time in Jail.  But if I can just fuck up his perfect life, for all the people he’s hurt, even just a little… it’ll be worth it.”

 

The woman across from his takes a deep breath, thinking everything through before she nods.  “But Hun, you know that if you want all of this to work the way you think it will.”  She holds up the paper with the assistant’s name on it.  “If you want to help her… This can’t be anonymous.  I’ll have to use your name, unfortunately the public will relate more if the victim has a name.”

 

Jimin nods, understanding what needs to be done in order for this to work.  When Jimin leaves he stops and picks up some black hair dye before heading back to the dorm.

 

 

The next morning Jungkook wakes up around noon, having his own room was strangely lonely.  It was weird not having Jimin around too make sure he didn’t oversleep.  He hated how much he missed the older man, found himself constantly thinking about him, but what else was knew.  He wonders if he should finally talk to Jimin, since the older man has been attempting to talk to him for the past two days. 

 

Jungkook heads into the kitchen but stops when he hears both Sejin and Bang PD in the kitchen talking on their phones.  Jungkook is confused as to why they are both here at the dorm on a Saturday, so he goes into the living room instead.  And what he finds is far worse than he could imagine.

 

A news story is playing loudly on the TV, which is the first thing to grab Jungkook’s attention, the name being repeated sounds familiar to him.  _That’s the guy Jimin was talking to at the show._   He hears Taehyung and Hoseok both leaving a frantic voicemail on one phone together.

 

“Jiminie please _answer_ your phone.” Tae whines into his cell phone.

 

Hoseok pulls the phone closer to his mouth, “We’re going to keep calling you… Where are you Jimin?”

 

“What’s going on?”  Jungkook asks, looking around but no one answers him.  He notices Namjoon and Jin standing in the door way of the kitchen both watching the news report and trying to listen to Sejin and Bang PD in the kitchen.  “Where’s Jimin?” again no one answers him.

 

Jungkook hears the female reporter say Jimin’s name, bringing his attention back to the TV.  But then he spots Yoongi sitting on the couch looking uncomfortable and paler than usual.  Jungkook stands in front of Yoongi.  “ _Where_ is Jimin?”  Jungkook can hear the panic in his own voice.

 

Yoongi slowly looks up at the younger before shaking his head.  “I don’t know Kook, I’m sorry.”

 

Jungkook must look lost because Yoongi silently pulls him down next to him on the couch.  Jungkook stares blankly at the TV as the reporter continues, “ _Park Jimin, claims the sexual abuse started as young as ten years old… Kim Myung, a former assistant of Kim Jihoon has come forward with allegations of sexual harassment and is looking to press charges on the matter.”_ Jungkook leans forward putting his head in his hands feeling sick.

 

 

It’s been two days, and still no word from Jimin.  Jungkook has not left his and Jimin’s room, he finds he can’t even leave Jimin’s bed, most of the time his face buried in the older man’s pillow.  Guilt has invaded his thoughts, constantly wondering what if he had done this, what if he had said that.  He watches the news report of Kim Jihoon on his phone more times than he can count.  And each time he cries like it’s the first time he’s hearing all these awful things.  He picks up his phone and calls Jimin _again_ this time it goes straight to voicemail.

 

That is the day the letter arrives, it had arrived addressed to Sejin who brought it over for the rest of the members to read.  Jungkook is last to get the letter, Namjoon comes into his room with Yoongi and hands the envelop to Jungkook, along with a reassuring hug.

 

He stares at it, instantly recognizing Jimin’s writing.  He pulls the letter out, opening it quickly.  The letter was written quickly, Jimin’s hand writing appearing sloppier than usual.  Jungkook realizes as he starts reading, it appears to be Jimin’s thoughts, scribbled down like he wanted to get things off his chest quickly.

 

**_Me leaving was never any of your faults.  It was something I had to do. I found on most days I wanted to die instead of live, and that wasn’t fair to any of you.  All of you have been my family for the past 4 years and I will never forget that.  You all deserve the world and don’t be afraid to take it on.  I want you to know I’m safe, ill be traveling with a friend for a while. Not sure where I will end up but I hope all of you stay safe, and please take care of each other._ **

**_Tae,_ **

**_You taught me what a soulmate really is, and I wouldn’t have been able to survive without having you in my life. You come in to people’s lives with a purpose and you change them. You make every single person around you better, without even realizing it._ **

**_Hobi,_ **

**_You’re the type of person that someone can only live without, if they’ve never lived with them before. You light up every room and lift up every single person around you. People need you. Because you’ll hold them while they cry, and then be ready to beat down the person that made them cry ten minutes later. You’ll make them laugh even when they’re sad and you’ll forgive them for what they said when they were mad._ **

**_Jin,_ **

**_You believe in your friends even when they don’t believe in themselves. You’re there for them even when they haven’t always been there for you. And you care for them before you even care for yourself.  You get to know them down to their very core, even when they’re hard to get to know._ **

**_Namjoon,_ **

**_you’re not only what everyone else around you needs. You’re all that you need. You’re honest and caring. You’re hilarious and intelligent. You’re strong and compassionate, and you’re fucking powerful, don’t let anyone take that away from you._ **

**_Yoongi,_ **

**_You change people, but you don’t let people change you. And don’t ever let them. Never let any single person come in to your life and make you believe that you ever have to be more of anything because you’re already more than all of us combined._ **

**_Kook,_ **

**_This part was the hardest to write, maybe that’s why I saved you for last.  You’ve taught me more than you’ll ever know.  I wonder often what I did to deserve your love, when you deserve something so much deeper than I could ever give you.  You said once dance was my first love, but in reality, it’s always been you.  I’m sorry for not realizing all of this sooner.  Please let yourself be happy, and don’t be afraid to fall in love again._ ** **_They say that time heals all wounds, but I don’t know about this one.  You impacted my life in a way that no one else ever could. I’ll never forget it, and I never want to forget it. I’ll always love you._ ** ****

**_Jimin_ **

The brown-haired man stares at the paper in his hands, Namjoon and Yoongi have long left his room.  He stares at Jimin’s signature at the bottom of the page, feeling numb as he reads the letter again as his tears stain the paper.  Realizing for the first time Jimin is truly gone.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much!  
> Now I can finally say only one more Chapter.
> 
> Comments and thoughts I would love to know what you guys think. :)


	19. Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone it's finally here!  
> Thank you so much to everyone who has stuck with me through this whole fic, I know I lost some readers along the way but gained so many.  
> I love reading through the comments and I still can't believe how many Kudos this got.
> 
> A few people have asked about a sequel, and it really all depends how everyone likes this last chapter, I literally wrote and rewrote it sooo many times.

**5 Years Later**

Jungkook couldn’t deny that he was nervous as he enters the crowed nightclub in London, he had waited outside in line for an hour. Its only a Tuesday and the place is packed. Sweaty bodies move against each other on the dance floor, the bass so loud Jungkook can feel it in his chest. The bar is the only thing he actually cares about, the real reason he’s here. He spots it at the very back of the club, swarming with people. Slipping through the crowds of people he makes his way to the back of the nightclub. He hangs back, merely observing, people line the bar, some sitting, others leaning against it, every time someone walks away another person slips in taking their place. Some customers are already clearly intoxicated, others are probably just getting their first drink of the evening. 

Jungkook stands on his tiptoes to see above people’s heads, trying to catch a glimpse of the bartender, whose back is turned to him. When the other man finally turns around Jungkook feels his breath leave his lungs, a group of people had left the bar at the same time, allowing a gap for only a few seconds before others fill it in.

 _Jimin_ … The younger had thought he would be ready for when he finally laid eyes on the other man again, but he fucking wasn’t. He wasn’t even sure what he was really expecting coming here, but when he got the call from the private investigator he had hired that Jimin was alive and well, living in London, he knew he would get on that plane and fly to London in an instant.

Back then loving Jimin had felt like that first breath of fresh air on a cold Autumn day, he could still remember when he had been able to put a name to all those confusing feelings. In the beginning he was so young and naïve, that’s why his actions towards Jimin had sometimes appeared cold or cruel, especially to fans, but Jungkook had been so confused and caught up in his own head most of the time. Loving Jimin was simultaneously the best thing that ever happened to Jungkook, and the scariest, because loving Jimin meant he had something to lose. And he had lost Jimin, five years ago, when the older had walked away from everyone and everything, unknowingly breaking Jungkook’s heart in the process. Jungkook was still angry at times, he still _hated_ Kim Jihoon for reducing Jimin to the broken shell he had been when he left. He still thinks about that week before Jimin left, wishes he had known sooner, wishes he had talked to Jimin when the older man had asked to speak with him several times. At first, he had blamed himself, then he turned the blame on Jimin. Eventually the anger subsided, and a deep sadness took hold of his heart, a longing that didn’t make sense until he stood here now, staring at the man he once loved.

He almost forgot how devastatingly beautiful Jimin was in person, his own memory and old videos didn’t do the older man justice. Jimin was back to his natural raven colored hair, his sharp undercut accented his facial features perfectly, the top of his hair styled back revealing his forehead. Jungkook could see the small silver hoop earrings Jimin always liked to wear hanging from his ears, with three new piercings along his cartilage on his right ear adorned with silver studs. From what Jungkook could see Jimin appeared to look healthy, he was more muscular then he had been five years ago, his shoulders and arms filling out the fitted black t-shirt nicely. The older man still had the legs and ass of a god and his black skinny jeans only made him even more distracting, the club owner clearly knowing what they were doing by making that the required uniform. The only thing that would have made Jimin unrecognizable if Jungkook hadn’t seen his face were the tattoos. Jimin’s right arm had a full sleeve, the younger couldn’t get a good look at what it was exactly from this distance, but he could see another tattoo on the inside of Jimin’s left forearm as well.

The more Jungkook watched Jimin behind the bar the more he wanted to talk to him. It was getting close to closing time, nearly 4am and Jungkook was beyond tired, he had landed only two hours ago, and he was feeling jet lagged with the eight-hour time difference. But as much as he wanted to go to his hotel and sleep, he hung back, kept out of sight because he couldn’t leave without seeing Jimin, he had come this far. People were starting to leave and it was easier to hear people talking over the music without the crowds of people and their excited chatter. Jungkook finds himself smiling as he watches Jimin with the customers, he’s funny and flirty, and his English is damn near perfect, Namjoon would be proud. The soft lilt of his Korean accent coming through as he speaks makes Jungkook’s chest ache for a reason he doesn’t understand.

 

Jimin sighs as he counts his tips one last time before slipping the money into his wallet. A little over 300 euros, not bad for a Tuesday. He just needs to lock up his drawer from the cash register in the back room, grab his jacket and he’s done. he can’t wait to climb into bed and- His thoughts are interrupted when Sarah, one of the waitresses comes around the back of the bar slapping her drink tray down on his _clean_ bar.

“How many?” She askes with her hands on her hips.

“How many?- Oh…” Jimin hums quietly as he digs out folded receipt papers and a few napkins out of his back pocket, placing them on top of the bar. “Ten” 

Sarah scoffs, faking annoyance as she pulls another piece of paper out of her apron before throwing it down on the bar next to Jimin’s pile. “One!... And you know what?... It was given to me, to give to _you_.”

Jimin laughs while he glances down at the scraps on the bar, all containing scribbled first names and numbers of people who took his smiles and flirting a little too seriously. But Jimin wasn’t planning on calling any of these people, not tonight anyways, maybe he’d keep some of them in mind for when he was looking for a quick fuck, because that’s all Jimin was ever looking for. Everything else was too messy, too needy, even the people who say they’re okay with no strings attached _always_ get upset when Jimin doesn’t call again.

After saying goodnight to Sarah and locking up his drawer for the night he grabs his leather jacket, coming back out to the bar he stops when he sees a guy sitting on one of the stools.

“Hi Jimin.”

Jimin freezes, _Jeon Jungkook_ , he knows he’s staring, and he’s pretty sure his mouth is hanging open but he’s also pretty _damn_ sure his brain is short circuiting, “K-Kook?” Jimin watches as a small smile spreads across Jungkook’s lips at the use of the nickname.

Jimin tries to swallow the lump that’s lodged in his throat. He’s not surprised that the taller man is still breathtakingly handsome, his hair is a deep red, which suits him almost too well. Jimin can’t do this right now, Jungkook is _here_ , why the _fuck_ is he here in London? “I-I have to go.” Jimin rushes past Jungkook who turns just in time to watch Jimin run out of the club.

Jungkook jumps up, surprised, _Jimin literally just fucking ran._ Once outside Jungkook looks around, and sighs when he spots Jimin already half way down the street, power walking as fast as his shorter legs will carry him, pulling his jacket tight around him to block out some of the cold. Jungkook jogs after the older man, “you know, you’ve never been faster than me.” The taller man simply states as he jogs around too the front of Jimin, coming to a stop in front of him.

Jimin stops abruptly so he doesn’t bump into the younger man, he pulls back, taking a quick step back, distancing himself, which Jungkook can’t deny hurts a little. “What are _you_ doing _here_ Jungkook!?” Jimin shouts, sounding hysterical and almost… _scared?_

Jungkook just stands there, wide eyed, as he watches Jimin almost unravel in front of him. “N-no one knows I’m here…” It’s the first thing Jungkook can think to say to try and ease Jimin’s growing panic. He’s not really sure what he excepted out of this reunion. He should have known it wasn’t going to be what he dreamt, Jimin jumping into his arms because he missed him so much, Jungkook hoped Jimin missed him at least half as much as he missed Jimin, but it didn’t seem that way at all. “I promise I came here on my own… I-I hired a private investigator to find you… And I just- I just had to see you again Jimin.” Jungkook says the last part quickly worried he may scare the older man with his words.

Jimin glares, his gaze piercing through any confidence Jungkook may have had. “You hired a fucking _Private Investigator?”_ He asks, completely dumbfounded by Jungkook’s actions.

Jungkook nods slowly, “yes.” He says.

“Why the _fuck_ would you do that Jungkook?” Jimin’s tone is harsh, he clenches his fists at his sides, and he seriously contemplates punching Jungkook in his stupid, handsome, fucking face. 

Jungkook shakes his head, running his hand through his hair. “It started off as just needing to know if you were okay, you could have been dead for all I knew… It took the guy nearly two years to find you”

“ _Maybe_ because I didn’t want to be fucking found.” Jimin growls out. He always tried his best to stay under the radar, no social media, new phone number every year, he didn’t have any credit cards anymore, and he paid for everything with cash.

Jungkook looks sad, “So, when I got the call that you were alive, living in London I thought that’s all I needed to move on. But I couldn’t just let it go, I couldn’t just pretend I didn’t know where you were… I’m sorry.”

Jimin closes his eyes for a moment while he collects himself, realizing it’s after 4am in the morning and he shouldn’t be yelling in the street, because he really doesn’t want to fucking get arrested. When Jimin opens his eyes, he stares back at Jungkook. He watches as the younger shifts from one foot to the next looking unsure and worried. Jimin can’t help the feeling of guilt that washes over him, he knows he shouldn’t have freaked out, but he had been caught off guard. Jungkook is actually here, right in front of him, and his heart is beating so hard in his chest he’s pretty sure his ribcage is bruised. 

Of course he _misses_ Jungkook, he misses all of them, all the members had been his _family._ He thinks about his other life often, at least once a day it creeps into his thoughts. There are times when he hears a cheesy joke and thinks of Jin. He’ll see some strange new fashion design and wonder if Tae and Hoseok would argue about who could wear it better. He hears a new hip-hop song on the radio, and he thinks to himself that Yoongi could do it better. Sometimes when he passes by a museum, or he sees a sculpture he wonders what Namjoon would think about the piece of art, he would probably have something philosophical to say about it. But thoughts of Jungkook invade his mind when he’s least expecting them, when he sees a young couple holding hands, his chest aches. Or when Daehyun and his girlfriend Lizzie drag him out for dinner because they worry about him being alone too much he finds himself watching their interactions with each other with a tad of jealousy. He wonders sometimes what would have happened if he stayed in Seoul after talking to the reporter. Or if he had told Jungkook about his feelings sooner, would they have tried dating? Jimin would have just ended up breaking his heart anyways, it was always inevitable. He was meant to be alone.

Jimin looks down at his feet, staring hard at the pavement, wondering if he’s just exhausted from working his ten-hour shift or he’s truly lost it for what he’s about to say. Jimin rubs his temples before finally looking at Jungkook again. “Listen, I’m tired… I need to go home and sleep… What hotel are you staying at?”

“The Lanesborough.” Jungkook replies warily, the uneasy look on his face makes Jimin’s heart ache, and it pisses him off because he shouldn’t be feeling _anything._

Jimin nods once, “Tomorrow morning at nine- I’ll meet you, and we can talk. Deal?”

Jungkook looks surprised momentarily, before he nods and starts grinning. Jimin pauses before he turns away, watching the younger’s face, distracted by Jungkook’s same bunny grin he’s always had, that same smile that makes the sides of his eyes crinkle. Jimin eventually shakes his head to clear his thoughts before he turns around without another word.

Once Jimin is home, in the safe confines of his apartment he shuts the door, locking it, before slouching against the door. “Shit. Shit. Shit” Jimin bangs his head on the door a few times before shrugging off his jacket and tossing it on the couch. His apartment isn’t too large, but he does work two jobs to pay the bills. Two bedrooms with a small galley kitchen, minimal furniture, which he liked. Jimin didn’t need a lot of things, easier to pack up and move if need be, don’t get too attached, that was his philosophy now. But that was easier said then done, he was finally settled here, finally had his own place, he was starting to feel invested in his second job, and he had acquired a very small, solid group of friends. _Five years_ , why was Jungkook here? why _now?_ Jimin was annoyed Jungkook had chased after him when he left the bar. But he was even more irritated with himself because he had said he would talk to Jungkook tomorrow.

Soft purring pulls Jimin out of his self-deprecating thoughts. He glances down toward the sound, realizing he’s just been standing in his kitchen. Jimin smiles at the orange tabby rubbing against his legs. “You’re probably hungry, aren’t you?” He had acquired the cat about 3 months ago, the poor thing was missing a good chunk out of his left ear, and his right eye was scarred, rendering the eye completely blind. The cat had been a stray that he would feed behind the bar on occasion, and one night the cat just followed him home. Jimin couldn’t turn the cat away then, since he knew it was going to start getting cold out, and Jimin had been a stray himself on more than one occasion. 

 

Jungkook stared down at the clothes he had sprawled across his bed in his hotel room. He had no idea what he was going to wear, and he was mad at the outfits he had chosen to bring on the trip. He wasn’t even sure why he was freaking out, he was _only_ seeing the man he once loved- or still loved- he didn’t- he shouldn’t- he _couldn’t._ Jungkook sighs in frustration, walking away from his clothes, it’s not like this was a fucking _date._ It was almost nine, and he had been up since six, his mind reeling with thoughts of Jimin, Jimin, _Jimin._ The red-haired man eventually decides on dark jeans with a black button-up, after running his hands through his hair _one_ more time he grabs his jacket and heads out. 

Once outside he glances up and down the street looking for the older man, he spots Jimin near a bench close to the hotel. Jungkook’s heart flutters as he gives the black-haired man a once over. Jimin is wearing the same black leather ridding jacket the younger had seen him in last night, light blue ripped skinny jeans cover his legs, tucked into black doc martins. A thick maroon scarf is wrapped around his neck, and he has a red and black flannel tied around his waist like he was unsure of how warm to dress. A playful smirk tugs at Jungkook’s lips as he walks up to Jimin who still hasn’t noticed him. He watches as Jimin paces back and forth, his black hair looking messy, revealing part of his forehead, his hand shakes a little as he brings a cigarette up to his lips, after taking a long drag he lets the smoke curl around him as he slowly exhales.

“Never took you as cigarette kind of guy.” Jungkook chuckles when Jimin startles and turns to face him abruptly.

Jimin looks embarrassed as he glances down at the half-smoked cigarette before dropping it and putting it out with the heal of a doc martin. He shakes his head at the younger man, “It’s a disgustingly bad habit. I know”

Jungkook simply shrugs, “It’s okay.” 

Jimin just stares at Jungkook for a moment when the younger flashes an endearing smile at him before clearing his throat. “So- uhm… There’s a café down the street that has great coffee… So I thought we could just sit there and chat if you want.” 

Jungkook watches Jimin fidget with his scarf while he waits for him to answer. The younger clenches his fists to fight the urge to reach out and take Jimin’s smaller hands in his own because he can sense his nervousness. Jungkook is just as nervous. “That sounds great Hyung.”

Jimin’s eyes snap up to his, and something flashes in them that Jungkook can’t read, he chews on his lip as Jimin nods and starts walking.

Their walk to the café is mostly in silence, most of it awkward. Jungkook makes small talk by asking Jimin about a few landmarks and asking the older man where he suggests Jungkook visit while he’s here. Jimin’s answers are short, but polite, over all he seems distracted. So, for the last few minutes of their walk the younger remains silent, trying to steal glances at Jimin when it’s not so obvious.

After ordering their drinks they find a small table at the back of the café. Before Jimin sits down his phone goes off, after shrugging off his jacket he pulls it out of his back pocket and quickly answers a text while he sits down. Jungkook stares at Jimin’s phone in his hands, his mouth drawing into a fine line, what is this feeling? Is he _jealous?_ Not of _who_ is texting Jimin, but the fact that someone is _actually_ texting him. He can remember when Jimin first disappeared, they had all tried calling him every day, and at first the message on the other end said the mailbox was full, and finally when they would call the automated message would tell them the number was no longer in service. And now here was Jimin, with a new phone, a new number, a new life. Jungkook eventually tears his eyes away because he needs to reign in his thoughts.

Jimin slips his phone back into his pocket and sits down drawing the youngers attention once again. Jungkook stops though, mouth partly opened because he was going to ask something about the café but forgets everything when he takes in the simple grey t-shirt that fits snug against Jimin’s chest. And the _tattoos,_ Jungkook hadn’t been able to see them up close until now. Jimin’s right arm is covered in intricate, beautifully shaded tree branches, twisting and turning up and around his arm, disappearing under the sleeve of his t-shirt. The only splash of color is from six deep red leaves that appear to be scattered randomly on his arm. On the inside of his left forearm lies a detailed depiction of a compass. Jungkook hadn’t known tattoos were his thing, but _Jimin_ with tattoos was _definitely_ his thing. 

Jimin catches Jungkook staring and glances down at himself, thinking maybe there was a stain on his shirt. “W-what’s wrong?” He asks innocently.

Jungkook’s eyes quickly find his again, shaking his head slightly as an embarrassed smile spreads across his face. “Uh- nothing… The tattoos- they look good.” Jungkook rubs the back of his neck while Jimin gives him a genuine smile whispering a soft ‘thank you’ which nearly takes the youngers breath away.

Jungkook suddenly reaches forward without thinking, he gently grasps Jimin’s wrist, turning it over slightly. Looking at one of the red leaves that curls around the inside of Jimin’s wrist, this is the only leaf that is shaded with a little bit of gold. 

“Why is this one different?” Jungkook asks softly as he gently rubs his thumb subconsciously over the leaf.

Jimin stares at his wrist where Jungkook’s long fingers wrap around it. Acutely aware that this is the first time they’ve really touched since Jungkook arrived in London. It takes him a second to meet the youngers eyes but when he does he opens his mouth to speak, staring into Jungkook’s wide eyes.

“Jimin!” A tall man calls out suddenly as he approaches their table before placing down their drinks at the edge of it.

Jimin tears his gaze away from Jungkook, pulling his wrist out of the redheads grasp as well as he looks up towards the other man smiling. “Jonathan- hi… I didn’t realize you’d be in this morning… You didn’t have to bring over our drinks.”

Jungkook looks up at the other man now, _God_ he still can’t get over how well Jimin’s English is now, he’s thankful Namjoon has been helping him the past few years so his has improved a lot as well. His hand still lingers in the center of the table where he had been holding Jimin’s wrist. _Jonathan_ doesn’t even spare him a glance.

The other man shrugs, beaming at Jimin. “Yeah, well I’ve been so busy with trying to open the other location before the Holidays, that I’ve been neglecting this one… Figured I would stop by, see how everything is going.”

Jungkook watches Jimin nod as if he’s not surprised by any of this. He takes a moment to glance at Jonathan, he’s handsome that’s for sure, with his light sandy brown hair, his blue eyes that have not left Jimin _once._ And that _accent,_ Jungkook would be lying if he said he hated it. Jungkook notices he isn’t wearing a name tag, he doesn’t have on apron like the other employees, he’s wearing grey slacks with a light purple button up, he must be a manager, the owner maybe, _who cares_ Jungkook thinks to himself.

 _Finally,_ Jonathan looks over at Jungkook, making direct eye contact while he places his hand on Jimin’s shoulder close to his neck. “Oh! I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude… And how do you know our Jimin?”

 _Our_ … The word bounces around Jungkook’s head. Are there more of _them?_ more like this _Jonathan?_ Jungkook spares a quick glance at Jimin, whose facial expression is unreadable now. He seems indifferent about Jonathan touching him, he doesn’t hate it but doesn’t seem to like it either. It’s a power move, Jungkook isn’t stupid. The other man is laying some claim on Jimin, drawing some invisible line he doesn’t want Jungkook crossing. Jungkook goes to speak but Jimin reacts first.

The older man reaches over patting Jungkook’s forearm, “This is Jungkook, an old friend… Jungkook, Jonathan… Jonathan, Jungkook.” Jimin’s introduction is brief, and he doesn’t explain anything else and who Jungkook is.

Jonathan lets out a chuckle, “Oh is that what you’re calling them now Jimin?”

Jimin rolls his eyes, ignoring Jungkook’s slight look of confusion. Clearly Jonathan’s comment was a dig at his aloof life style, he must think Jungkook is someone Jimin picked up last night. Okay so _maybe_ Jimin likes to be single, _maybe_ he specializes in one-night stands, people are clingy, relationships are messy and time consuming, so _sue_ him. And perhaps he had slept with Jonathan once, or _maybe_ twice, but that had been a couple of years ago before he had his head on straight. Well Jimin was still a bit of a mess on most days, but he liked to consider himself a _little_ more emotionally stable these days. 

Jonathan looks over at Jungkook and simply smiles, but doesn’t make a move to shakes his hand, because that would require _removing_ it from Jimin’s shoulder. So Jungkook doesn’t move either. “Nice to meet you.” They both reply nearly at the same time, fake, polite smiles adorn both of their faces.

Jonathan turns back to Jimin before he pats his shoulder, “You’re going to be at Lizzie and Daehyun’s place tomorrow right?” 

Jimin simply smiles, “Of course.”

Jonathan nods before he gives them a wave, “Good, see you then.” The other man walks away, not even giving Jungkook a second glance.

 _Daehyun?_ Jungkook knew that name well. Back then Jimin had mentioned having an old friend from Busan named Daehyun, and he had been going to school in Seoul at the time, so they would get together occasionally. And when Jimin left, Jungkook had gone to that apartment alone, not realizing it had been Daehyun’s, the one he had followed the older man to that night so long ago, where he found out Jimin was still using drugs, where he told Jimin he loved him, where Jungkook walked away from him. He knocked on every door asking about Jimin, until he got to Daehyun’s apartment and his roommate had answered, mentioning he knew of Jimin. At first Jungkook had begged for him to tell him where Jimin was, who he was with. When the begging wasn’t working, things had gotten physical, the younger had nearly beaten the other man unconscious until he finally caved and told Jungkook that Jimin was with his roommate Daehyun, and they had left for the airport a few days before, he swore he didn’t know where they were going. Jungkook had _hated_ Daehyun for a long time, he was angry because Daehyun was supposed to be Jimin’s _friend,_ but he was the one giving Jimin the pills that were hurting him, that were ruining _them._

“Are you two-?” Jungkook pauses unsure of what he’s trying to ask because he really doesn’t have the right to ask if they’re together.

Jimin realizes he’s talking about Jonathan, so he snorts, “No.”

Jimin raises an eyebrow as he watches Jungkook busy himself with his drink while mumbling a soft ‘Oh’. The older man chews on the inside of his cheek before he can help himself he blurts out. “I’m not with anyone-” _What the fuck,_ Jimin wants to kick himself, why should that even matter to Jungkook.

The younger man looks up quickly, his eyes brows shooting up in surprise before he recovers. “Oh- Yeah me either… I’m too busy right now.”

Jungkook watches as Jimin just hums, before the older man leans back in his chair and takes a sip of his coffee, his eyes never leaving Jungkook’s. They stare at each other before Jimin finally breaks eye contact first, he looks around the café. Jungkook can feel his heart pounding against his rib cage, he has so many questions he wants to ask Jimin, but he knows if he pushes, Jimin will just shut him out all over again. Jungkook waits patiently, giving Jimin control over the conversation.

Jimin’s eyes fall on Jungkook again, his leg is shaking under the table as he wets his lips. “So… How are you-” Jimin looks like he’s going to continue but he closes his mouth.

Jungkook smiles, “You can ask about the guys you know, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not, I lost that right when I left.” Jimin states with a calm seriousness before rubbing the back of his neck, not looking at the younger.

Jungkook shrugs, his smile not faltering. “Well…” Jungkook takes a moment to think before he continues. “Where do I start?... Oh! Well I released my second solo album, I’m still with Bighit, they want me to go on my first tour soon, they’re pushing for next month actually… It’s going to be weird touring without all the guys… I’ve directed a few music videos, which has been really great.” Jungkook watches Jimin smile softly. “Taehyung is doing great; his acting career has really taken off… We actually have an apartment together. Just sucks with both our schedules we hardly see much each other, he’s so busy.” Jungkook doesn’t miss the slight frown on Jimin’s face. “Tae quit the group a year after you left… Said he just wanted to focus on acting... He had a hard time after you left, we all did Jimin.” The younger lets that sink in with Jimin before he continues. 

“Namjoon and Jin are living together… And they’re actually like together, _together_ … I wanna say they’ve been dating for two years now.” Jimin grins, he looks genuinely happy when he hears the news, like he always knew, and Jungkook takes a moment to memorize the older mans face. “Jin does mostly modeling, and he opened a restaurant with his older brother so he’s really busy with that, they’re getting ready to open up three other locations around Seoul. Namjoon is always working on his solo stuff, he produces a lot with Yoongi, who’s really enjoying producing music, he hasn’t released a new album in a while, they both just got back from touring together though… Hoseok released a few solo albums, but he mostly does choreography, he works a lot with the new groups at Bighit, he really loves it. And he just got married around six months ago.” 

Jimin nods as he smiles again, “That’s great… I’m glad everyone is doing good, you all deserve to be happy.”

“So do you Jimin.” Jimin stares at Jungkook, his phone suddenly rings before he can say anything. Jungkook focuses on his coffee as Jimin takes his phone call. Once the older man hangs up he looks at Jungkook who is watching him intently.

“I just got called into work.”

Jungkook’s face scrunches up, “The bar?... it’s not even 10:30 in the morning.”

Jimin snickers, “No… It’s only for a couple of hours. Do you want to come with me?... I feel bad I dragged you out this early for nothing.” Jimin askes almost shyly.

Jungkook is surprised by the offer, and before he can stop himself, he’s nodding happily.

 

After a short walk to the nearest train station, Jungkook and Jimin are mostly silent for the remainder of the trip, lost in their own thoughts, finding comfort in each other’s company. They arrive at a large victorian-style building, Jungkook almost misses the sign as they walk in, _London’s School of Performing Arts._ Jungkook is about to ask where they are, but before he can they’re already inside and the hallways are bustling with noisy High School students. 

Jimin starts heading down one of the long corridors with Jungkook following closely behind him. The younger finally grabs his arm, stopping him. “Are you a teacher here?” Jungkook’s eyes are bright with excitement when he asks.

“No, the janitor.” Jimin deadpans. He smirks when Jungkook’s mouth clamps shut, not sure if Jimin is joking or not, so to be polite he chooses to say nothing.

Jimin finally stops in front of a classroom, or at least that’s what Jungkook thinks until they go inside and Jungkook realizes it is a large dance studio. He looks around at the cathedral ceiling with large mirrors that stretch from the floor up the span of three of the room’s walls. 

Jungkook can't help but look around the large expanse of the dance studio with his mouth agape. “Janitor?” He asks Jimin with amusement in his tone as he watches the older make his way over to a set of large Bose speakers where an iPod rests on top. 

 

Jimin hums in acknowledgment as he thumbs through the music quickly, before he sets it down and faces the younger. “I'm actually a substitute teacher for contemporary dance."

 

Jungkook grins when a shy smile tugs at Jimin's lips. “That's awesome Jimin.”

 

Jimin just shrugs it off which doesn't surprise Jungkook. “Yeah, I didn't think I would like it. But I actually really do… The director of the dance department says there will be a job opening for a full-time position in about six months, she wants me to apply even though I don't have a Master’s Degree. She says with my background and experience I could actually be a pretty good candidate for the position." Jimin rubs the back of his neck and licks his lips while he shrugs again, trying to act like he's not excited about the opportunity. "The only thing is the hiring process is pretty grueling, they expect an entirely original choreographed piece. Along with several interviews... Plus I don't always have a spot to practice in, it cost a good amount of money to rent any studio time somewhere." Jungkook watches as Jimin walks to the desk in the corner and shrugs off his leather jacket, draping it over the chair. Then he takes off his boots, so he doesn't scuff up the floor, opting to stay in his socks.

 

“I think I really want this Kook... I haven't been passionate about something in a long time…" Jimin trials off quietly, not looking at Jungkook but at himself in mirror that he stands in front of.

 

Jungkook stands next to him now, looking at both of their reflections before he speaks. “Do it Jimin... You've always had the talent… I know it's super cheesy to say don't waste it, but you honestly shouldn't.”

 

Jimin's eyes flick up to meet Jungkook's through the mirror but before he can respond the door opens and the student start trickling in. “You can just sit at the desk. I'm only covering for two classes today.”

 

Jungkook nods before finding his seat.

 

Jungkook spent most of the class with his elbow propped on the desk, his chin resting comfortably in the palm of his hand while he tried to hide the ridiculous grin he had plastered on his face. The only way he could describe how he felt was _giddy._ Watching Jimin with the kids was sort of amazing, Jungkook lost count of how many times he heard 'Mr. Park!'. He eventually figured out it was a freshman class, and he couldn't believe how good these kids already were, he couldn't imagine what kind of resumes they would have when they eventually graduated.

 

The kids were ecstatic when they realized Jimin was their substitute for today. He asked them to show him the piece they were currently working on for the showcase, so he could familiarize himself with the choreography again. Then he split them into small groups to work on parts they were having difficulty with while he walked around and answered questions or helped break down a part of the choreography. Apparently tattoos and Jimin's English were turn on's Jungkook hadn't even realized he had. At one point he had to shake his head to clear his wandering thoughts because he was fucked if he was still this enamored by the older man even after all these years. Jungkook had barely seen Jimin smile since he'd gotten to London. But seeing him in this environment he was a completely different person, he seemed so carefree it made Jungkook's heart flutter. God he was _screwed._

 

The next day Jungkook gets Jimin to spend some more time with him, after he had practically begged the older man the day before after him and Jimin had left the school. It took the whole trip back to Jungkook’s hotel for the raven-haired man to agree. Jungkook was able to talk Jimin into taking him sightseeing, and then the younger dragged Jimin shopping 

Eventually by the afternoon Jimin was getting grumpy, and Jungkook was having too much fun annoying Jimin and enjoying the older man’s company. They are cutting through a park when Jimin’s phone rings, when Jungkook realizes it’s Daehyun on the other end he tries not to let the sudden drop in his mood show. He can faintly hear Daehyun telling Jimin to put him on speaker, Jimin declines a few times before finally giving in.

“Okay you’re on speaker.” Jimin mumbles into one end of the phone.

 _“Ahh good!... Jungkook!?”_ Daehyun shouts.

Jungkook looks at Jimin with a slightly confused expression on his face before leaning a little closer to Jimin’s phone. “Uh- Yeah?” He asks.

_“You’re coming with Jimin to the party, right?... Don’t let him tell you otherwise, he’s just a big wimp but he wants you to go.”_

Jimin suddenly rips the phone away from Jungkook’s face and turns around so his back is to Jungkook, but he fails to take Daehyun off speaker before he starts whisper-yelling into the phone. “ _Shut up!_ \- what are you doing?... He doesn’t want to come to your stupid engagement party.”

 _“Sure he does… That man flew all the way to London for you, so stop being the moody asshole I know you’re being… If he doesn’t come, I’m not letting you in.”_ Daehyun say confidently.

“Then fine- I’m not coming.” Jimin replies, Jungkook can tell Jimin is pouting just by the tone of his voice and it makes him smirk.

 _“You have to come, you have the ring remember?... You do have the ring right Jimin?”_ When Jimin doesn’t answer right away Daehyun starts yelling, panic evident in his voice. _“Jimin!?... you were supposed to pick up the ring at the jewelers after I had it sized!”_

“Yeah, yeah I got it.” Jimin motions for Jungkook to follow him, and he starts walking briskly in the opposite direction they were headed.

_“You’re lying!”_

“No! it’s in my pocket right now, _I swear_ … Trust me, I’ll see you later.” Jimin hangs up before Daehyun can say anything else.

 

Daehyun's apartment is huge, modern, and decorated to perfection. He remembered Jimin mentioning that Daehyun worked in marketing for some boring company, Jimin's words not his. And Lizzie's family owned one of the largest hospitals in the city which she was next in line to run and was head nurse of the pediatric floor. 

 

After Jimin introduced him to a few people they found a spot on the couch while they waited for Lizzie to get home. A surprise engagement in front of friends and family wasn't something Jungkook would want, but Jimin assured him she would say yes. The older man also had to assure Daehyun several times after handing him the ring Jimin and Jungkook had gone to pick up.

 

It didn't take Jonathan very long to seek Jimin out once he arrived. Jungkook tried not to roll his eyes when Jonathan sat on the arm of the couch closest to Jimin, brushing his hand on the back of Jimin's neck while he spoke to him. Jungkook wasn't going to lie, he did feel some satisfaction when he saw the spark of confusion in the other man’s eyes when he saw Jungkook. And he smirked when Jimin didn't miss a beat when he replied with "I told you, he's a friend."

 

Jungkook eventually gets up when he gets tired of Jonathan insisting on completely ignoring him while he's sitting right next to them both. Jungkook isn't fucking stupid, he can tell the other man is purposely talking too fast and all over the place so Jimin has a hard time translating when Jungkook misses certain things. “I'm getting a drink.” He says to Jimin who mumbles a soft 'alright'. What Jungkook doesn't see is how Jimin watches him go, then turns and gives Jonathan an irritated look, who seems to take the hint and smiles sheepishly at Jimin. 

 

As large as the kitchen is, it's an open concept, not really giving him the chance to escape he needs. He stands near the large island glancing down at his options. Several bottles of expensive wine, and other bottles of liquor are lined up neatly on display. Jungkook glances over at Jonathan and Jimin again before he grabs a cup. The bitter taste in the back of his throat makes him sigh. He has no right to be jealous. Jimin can date whoever he wants, he had no right to claim him. But imagining the older man with anyone else made him painfully jealous. Maybe coming to London was a bad idea, he was probably only setting himself up for heartache once again. He had no right to worry about Jimin’s love life when he couldn't get a grasp on his own. Two failed relationships later and here he was, still regrettably pining after a man who doesn't want him.

 

“Ah I see you met Jonathan.”

 

Jungkook doesn't have to look to know who it is, only one other person here would be speaking Korean besides Jimin and himself. The younger schools his expression before he turns and faces Daehyun.

 

Daehyun nods in the other two men's direction. “I'm pretty sure the only reason Jimin hasn't told him off yet is because he's Lizzie's twin brother…. He's been chasing after Jimin for years now, he's too whipped for his own good." 

 

Jungkook watches as Daehyun chuckles, his eye-smile similar to Jimin's and it makes Jungkook's right eye twitch. Jungkook has the sudden urge to take the other man's argyle sweater and shove it up his ass. How dare he stand in front of Jungkook looking like a fucking librarian when he was selling drugs to Jimin not too long ago. 

 

Daehyun reaches out his hand, “Nice to finally get to meet you, I've heard a lot about you Jungkook.”

 

Jungkook stares at the other mans outstretched hand before looking him back in the eye. “You know, I hated you for a long time… that was a long time ago though, but I still don't have to like you.”

 

Daehyun clears his throat awkwardly, then he pulls his hand back before fixing his glasses on the bridge of his nose, looking for something to do with his hands. “Look, I get it… But I'm a different person now… And so is Jimin.”

 

Jungkook shakes his head a little bit, he doesn't want to hear everyone tell him how Jimin is. He hates how he doesn't even know the older man anymore. “I just don't get why you stayed here in London… I mean, don't you have family in Busan?"

 

The other man nods before he glances back towards the living room. “I do. But I stayed because of Jimin… Then shortly after that I met Lizzie... Jimin's like a brother to me, he's my best friend, Lizzie loves him to. We watch out for him." Daehyun looks back at Jungkook. “Water by the way."

 

Jungkook looks confused, “What?”

 

“For Jimin. If you're getting drinks, water… he's been sober for almost two years…”

 

Jungkook replies with a quiet 'oh' realizing he hadn't even asked Jimin if he wanted something. Jungkook looks back at Daehyun mumbling, “Thanks.”

 

“Jimin has been through a lot, you know that… But he's also come along way.” Daehyun looks at him now with only seriousness in his eyes. “But that's not my story to tell.” Then Daehyun nods at Jungkook. “I just came over to tell you, you don't have to worry about him. He's never going to be alone, as much as he tries to be.” And with one last smile he walks back towards the living room. Not before he walks behind the couch Jimin is sitting on and gives his shoulder a squeeze. Jungkook watches Jimin tilt his head up and smile at Daehyun before he reaches out grabbing a hold of the other man's wrist then they're both laughing at something Jimin must have said.

 

Jungkook walks back over to Jimin, happy Jonathan has decided to leave him alone for now. He holds out the plastic cup for Jimin to take.

 

Jimin eyes flicker to the cup before he looks back up at Jungkook. “Oh- uhm…”

 

“It's water.” Jungkook says softly. Jimin quirks an eyebrow up as he takes the water. “Daehyun.” Is all Jungkook says as he sits down next to Jimin again.

 

Jimin hums in response. Maybe Daehyun was never as horrible as Jungkook thought.

 

Jungkook is impressed at how well Daehyun's surprise engagement went. Lizzie is indeed surprised, she had no idea Daehyun was going to purpose, and she loved that it was in front of close family and friends. Lizzie is effortlessly pretty, with her long, red curly hair pulled back in a loose pony-tail, and her kind brown eyes. 

 

Lizzie bounds up to Jimin after her parents congratulate her, throwing her arms around his neck tightly while she kisses him on the cheek. Jungkook smiles a little when he watches Jimin return her embrace. She leans closer and whispers something in Jimin's ear which causes him to throw his head back and laugh loudly. Jungkook's eyes watch every movement because _God,_ he's so fucking beautiful. 

 

She turns to Jungkook next, and when she throws her arms around him, he freezes. Then she steps back and smiles up at him. “Hi! I'm Lizzie, it's so nice to finally get to meet you! … And you were right Jimin, he is hot.”

 

When Lizzie walks away Jimin hopes Jungkook didn't understand what she said. But the younger looks at him with raised eyebrows, and Jimin feels a blush creep up the back of his neck, his cheeks tinged pink.

 

An hour later Jimin stands outside of Daehyun's apartment, cigarette between his lips as he takes a long inhale. His body buzzes with anxiety, he had a hard time with crowds these days, they made him jumpy. He was fine when he was working at the bar, his mind was busy. But when he was at parties like this, he found it easier to just retreat into his own head. 

 

The only time Jimin ever seeks out crowds is if he was looking for a quick hookup. He didn't always like picking up guys from the bar he worked at, it didn't always end well, especially if the guy ended up being a little too possessive. So occasionally on his nights off he would go to one of the many other clubs in the city. He would go later in the night so people already had the chance to get a pretty good buzz going. It was always easy to find guys who were willing to fuck him. Jimin never brought anyone back to his apartment, so it was either the other guys place or sometimes their car. Jimin didn't care either way, as long as the guy could fuck him until he was numb. And Jimin never stayed over, he never let anyone drive him home, and he never called back.

 

Jimin slowly exhales, tilting his head back he stares up into the dark sky, watching the smoke curl and eventually disappear. He runs his tongue over his teeth before closing his eyes.

 

“Hey” Jungkook says softly from behind him.

 

Jimin whips around, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden. “Sorry I left you in there… I'm not good at these kinds of things anymore.” Jimin motions in the direction of the party with one of his hands.

 

Jungkook pulls his jacket tighter around him while he shrugs. “it's okay, I get it.” He says as he wets his lips, making his way over to Jimin.

 

Jimin watches him closely. “So, what did Daehyun tell you?" He asks, "I saw you two talking in the kitchen, then the whole water thing, so I'm assuming-"

 

Jungkook looks at Jimin, shaking his head. “Nothing… Well just that you've been sober for almost two years- but that's all.” He says carefully.

 

Jimin gives a little nod while he looks down at the pavement, scuffing his boot back and forth along the sidewalk.

 

Jungkook is quiet for a while before he speaks, “I went back to that apartment looking for you, the one I followed you to…Found out from his roommate at the time it was Daehyun's, the old friend you had spoken about a lot.” Jungkook watches Jimin, trying to read his body language. Surprisingly the older man doesn't look like he wants to bolt for once. “How did you guys end up in London? … Why take Daehyun with you?”

 

Jungkook realizes that's one of the things that he has been having a hard time with. Why after everything, did Jimin chose Daehyun, over him.

 

Jimin is silent, the younger watches as Jimin takes another drag, the end of the cigarette burning red hot while the older man inhales. 

 

“Daehyun was just a way out in the beginning.” Jimin says while he looks up at the sky again, avoiding Jungkook's curious gaze. “He was already going to be traveling around Europe for a month, everything paid for by his parents. They were trying to give him anything he wanted so he wouldn't drop out of University… So, I figured hey, if I was going to travel with someone why not my friend, and drug dealer. Plus, a part of me always knew I wasn't coming back home.” Jimin tries to ignore the sadness in Jungkook's eyes. “One month turned into a year before we both knew it, we had spent time in Italy, France, Sweden, and Norway, we both blew through our money. So, when we ended up in England it just clicked, we made friends pretty quick here, Daehyun was pretty good at English already so he found it easy to keep selling. We lived on friends couches for a long time, I was too far gone to give a shit, I didn’t want to find a job...I just wanted to be high all the time, so I was.”

 

Jungkook watches as Jimin shifts from one foot to the next, he bends down and stubs out the cigarette in his hand on the sidewalk before shoving the cigarette butt into his coat pocket. Jungkook touches Jimin's arm, and when the older man looks at him a small smile tugs at Jungkook's lips. Silently asking Jimin to continue.

 

Jimin sighs before he glances around, his eyes narrowing almost into a glare as he thinks of what to say next. “Pretty soon just taking the pills wasn't enough. I started snorting them to get the high quicker... When even that wasn't good enough, through some mutual connections I got into coke... That was right around the time Daehyun met Lizzie. She made him want to be a better person, so he quit selling drugs, found a great job. They bought this apartment together, meanwhile I was still a fucking mess. They let me live with them for over two fucking years... Dealt with all my bullshit, watched me get fired from job after job. Took care of me when I was too fucked up to get out of bed to feed myself...”

 

Jimin shakes his head, it's obvious to Jungkook how angry he is with himself. And Jungkook can’t help the stab of bitter jealously that tightens his chest. He should have been there for Jimin when he was at his worse, it should have been _him._

 

“Finally, Daehyun had enough… He sat up with me all night and forced me to watch all this old BTS shit.” Jimin laughs bitterly at the old memory. “No matter how much I told him to fuck off he just sat there, watching video after video. Until I broke down, and cried like a baby… I detoxed for weeks on their couch, it was fucking pathetic... I owe them my life... I eventually got the job at the bar, and shortly after that I started working for the school part time. Finally saved up enough money to get my own place. And well here we are, sober almost two years later."

 

Jimin shakes his head, not looking at Jungkook while he starts fumbling around for another cigarette. Jungkook suddenly reaches out, capturing Jimin's hands in his own while the older man struggles to get the lighter lit. Jimin finally brings his gaze up to look Jungkook in the eye. 

 

Jungkook looks visibly upset, his eyes look watery under the soft glow of the street light, but Jimin hopes it's just from the cold wind. Jimin feels trapped under the youngers gaze, he slowly slips his hands out of Jungkook's grasp before looking away again. 

 

Jimin goes to take a step back but the younger suddenly reaches out a second time, grabbing Jimin by the front if his leather riding jacket holding him in place. Jimin's pretty sure his heart jumped into his throat because he wonders briefly if Jungkook is going to try to kiss him. This is the most physical contact they've had since the younger man has been in London. 

 

Jungkook's eyes linger on Jimin's lips before Jimin practically has to peel Jungkook's hands off of him. “Don't.” Jimin says sternly. “Don't feel sorry for me.”

 

“I just wish I could have been there for you.” Jungkook replies, his tone sad.

 

“Well I'm glad you weren't.” Jimin doesn't mean for the words to come out as harsh as they do. He bites the inside of his cheek before he says, “I made a lot of mistakes, I hurt people. Look what I did to you Jungkook, don't pity me… You should hate me.”

 

Jungkook shakes his head. “I don't... I can't hate you.”

 

Jimin stares back at him for a long moment before sighing in defeat. “Do you want to get out of here?”

 

Jungkook nods, “sure, should you say Goodbye first?”

 

“No” Jimin says while shrugging. “They're pretty used to me just ducking out… I'm sure they'll forgive me.” Jimin glances down at his forgotten cigarette in his hand. “Where did you want to go?” He asks the younger.

 

“I'd like to see your place.” Jungkook says hopefully.

 

Jimin doesn't say anything for a little while. He almost wants to say no, he almost wants to find a cafe open instead, or maybe a bar, sometimes he wished he still fucking drank. But he remembers Jungkook isn't just some random stranger he's hooking up with. “Fine.” Jimin grumbles after a second and tries not to stare to hard at Jungkook's adorable satisfied smile.

 

Jungkook is a little surprised at how nice Jimin's apartment is. He feels a little guilty expecting anything less. The older man’s apartment is sleek, splashes of tans and whites to offset the mostly grey interior design. Nothing seems out of place, but at the same time there's really _nothing_ to be put out of place. The small kitchen is spotless, only a couch and a coffee table sit in front of the TV in the living room, a large set of French doors lead out to a balcony where a small patio chair sits. The apartment honestly looks like it's being staged for a showing, because there's no pictures, no nic-nacs, nothing _Jimin._ Nothing like the dorm room they once shared, where there were pictures, and fun little trinkets they had bought on their trips and tours, gifts they'd given each other over the years. But the Jimin he had once known was gone. The Jimin in front of him now was quiet, reserved, a minimalist- suddenly a hiss startles Jungkook out of his thoughts. He looks down to see a damn ugly orange hairball glaring at him from the couch.

 

Jimin coos as he picks the cat up, stroking its head. “He's not used to people coming over…” He says as the cat hisses again in Jungkook's direction.

 

“Yeah, I'd say… Is- is it missing an eye?” Jungkook asks warily.

 

Jimin coos again as he places a kiss on the animals’ head, his black hair falling down against his forehead makes Jungkook’s fingers itch to brush it out of Jimin's face. And he almost does, but he's pretty sure Jimin would kick him out.

 

“Leave Cho alone.” Jimin whines, Jungkook snickers at the pout in Jimin's tone, raising his eyebrow at the choice of name. He smiles though, happy that Jimin's love for animals is still strong. 

 

After making some coffee for the both of them Jimin steps out onto the balcony, leaving Jungkook who is trying his damndest to bond with Cho. With only his hoodie to block out the wind chill he puts his hands into his pockets, feeling the pack of cigarettes, he ignores it though. He normally doesn't smoke this much, but these last couple days have been a lot to handle.

 

Jimin didn't fight the shiver that ran up his spine when a particularly cold breeze brushed against him. It felt weird having someone here at his apartment, even if that person was Jungkook, someone he had lived with for years, shared a room with, occasionally a bed. He knows Jungkook has questions, knows he's holding back. It's just fucking awkward, Jimin doesn't know how to talk to the younger anymore. 

 

Jimin turns slightly to peer back into his living room and he almost laughs when he sees Jungkook helplessly trying to get Cho's affection. The large orange cat sits on the back of the couch glaring at the younger man as he tentatively reaches over to pet the cats head.

 

The only people he really ever had over were Daehyun and Lizzie. And Lizzie had only recently started coming over by herself once Daehyun got his new promotion that involved more traveling for the company. 

 

She had just shown up one night with pizza and a handful of rom coms, saying she didn't want to hang out alone on a Friday night. But Jimin was pretty sure Daehyun had asked her to check up on him because he had been having a shitty week.

 

Jimin was getting better, he was starting to have more good days than bad days, but they still happened, sometimes they would sneak up on him. At times the depression and anxiety were so debilitating he couldn't get himself out of bed. Sometimes he felt that if he got up and put his bare feet on the cold hardwood floor his demons would be able to sink their claws into him, drag him down into the dark water he always felt like he was wading through. 

 

When the mean, bitter voices were too loud in Jimin's head, telling him he was worthless he would go for a run. He knew the anonymous sex wasn't the healthiest way to cope but he couldn't deny that worked as well. He still battled with eating right, he didn't always like focusing on himself, it was easier to drown himself in work, taking on extra shifts at the bar, taking any substitute teaching opportunity that was given to him. 

 

It also helped that he could now go out and no longer be recognized. In the beginning it had been hard, baseball caps, sunglasses, and hoods were his best friend for a while. He avoided crowds, was wary of new people, always felt like someone was watching him.

 

Jimin still had a hard time understanding how Lizzie ended up so nice. She had accepted Jimin and Daehyun into her lives with open arms. Not caring that Jimin had once been famous. She took him for who he was now without any question or malice. God he just hoped Daehyun didn't fuck anything up with her.

 

Jimin chuckles when he thinks about what Lizzie said earlier to him, ‘ _There is no way he picked this ring out on his own, so thank you Jimin.‘_ She had been right, Jimin had to save Daehyun from many horrible purchases that day.

 

Jimin is lost in his own thoughts when he hears the French doors open and shut.

 

Jungkook stands besides Jimin, “it's pretty cold out.”

 

Jimin hums in response, “I like it.” He says softly. When Jungkook doesn't say anything Jimin finally speaks up. “Just say whatever’s on your mind Jungkook, stop holding back for my sake."

 

“Why did you leave?” Jungkook finally askes 

 

Jimin turns in his direction. "You know why I left." He says rather sternly, he doesn’t want to have to explain himself, it’s fucking exhausting.

 

"Jimin. If I had just known- w-we could have figured it out together… But if you had just stayed- I could have helped you." Jungkook lets himself sound frustrated for the first time.

 

"How would we have figured it out Jungkook? How could you have helped me back then? Keep me cooped up in the dorm? ... I did what I did because I couldn't handle all that publicity... Going public with that shit was the hardest thing I've ever done. But I had to help, I had to do something knowing there were others… And he was threatening all of you, he had pictures of _you_ , alone, of us arguing outside Daehyun’s apartment… I would have lost my mind if I stayed...It wasn’t your job to save me back then, and it's not your job now!" Jimin says while he shakes his head.

 

"I get you couldn't deal with it back then, but are you really dealing with it now?... I mean you moved to another _country_. Have you actually had any meaningful relationships?” Jungkook askes.

 

"I've had relationships." Jimin says, a slight pout in his tone.

 

"Relationships Jimin?... Or just _sex?"_ The younger demands quietly, he can’t help thinking back to Jonathan and how surprised he had been when Jimin was trying to tell him Jungkook was a friend.

 

Jimin gives him a sidelong glance before stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans and puffing out his cheeks before letting out a sigh.

 

Jungkook’s expression softens at Jimin’s slightly cute show of defeat. He honestly doesn’t really know why he's being so hard on the older, he just feels like Jimin deserves more instead of pushing people away all the time. He wants to reach out and hold Jimin, but he refrains. "Why do you want to be alone so bad?"

 

After a moment Jimin looks up at him. "Being alone is easier." He gives a noncommittal shrug, before glancing back down at the ground.

 

Jungkook finally steps towards the shorter man reaching out and running his hands up and down Jimin’s arms. Jimin is trembling but he’s not sure it’s from the cold air.

 

As Jungkook starts to pull Jimin towards him because he can't stand the distance any longer Jimin grabs ahold of the front of the taller man’s shirt. His fists curl around the thin material and he stops Jungkook from coming closer. 

 

Jimin shakes his head, confusion etched a crossed his beautiful features. "Why are you _here_ Jungkook?" Jimin askes, he can't hide the slight whine of his tone, his voice sounding shaky to his own ears. "You were _supposed_ to move on.”

 

"I didn't get the chance to _move on_ Jimin, I didn't get to disappear to another continent... I still have to listen to all the guys reminisce about what it used to be like, how much they all miss you... I have to look at your pictures, see your videos. Deal with fans still asking questions about you even after all this time... I still have to handle you being gone _every. fucking. day._ " Jungkook practically growls out the last sentence, but even though his words are sharp, his tone is gentle. His hands slide up to cup Jimin’s face, his thumbs brushing against cold cheeks as he tilts Jimin’s head, forcing the shorter man to look at him. "Jimin I still-” Jungkook starts before Jimin cuts him off.

 

Jimin shakes his head angrily, "Don’t fucking say it." He stares back at Jungkook with unshed tears. "This is _insane!_ I'm happy here. I have a life here. And you, you're doing amazing things in Seoul, I can't let you fuck that up Jungkook- Why are you really here!?" Jimin sounds frantic, and scared.

 

"I’m came here for closure Jimin!... Because I can’t get over you, can’t get you out of my head… I hate that I still love you- _but I do_." Jungkook says before he crashes their lips together. 

 

And Jimin let's him, he clings to the sides of the younger’s shirt, it lifts slightly, and he moves his hands letting his fingers brush against bare skin, causing Jungkook to shiver.

 

Jimin breaks the kiss so he can get them both back inside but Jungkook grabs onto him when he goes to turn towards the doors. "Where do you think you're going?" Jungkook’s voice husky with arousal as he presses Jimin against the door connecting their lips once again. Jimin groans when the youngers lips move to his neck, sucking bruises into his skin.

 

"Inside" Jimin manages to gasp out before Jungkook starts kissing him again, nibbling on his bottom lip.

 

The younger shows no sign of slowing down when he reaches down hooking his hands behind Jimin’s thighs and lifts him up, so Jimin can wrap his legs around Jungkook’s waist.

 

"Show off" Jimin rolls his eyes before he starts marking Jungkook’s neck with his teeth.

 

Jungkook chuckles, " you like it." He says before a small groan escapes his lips.

 

Jimin hums contentedly, lips still attached to the youngers neck as Jungkook pushes the door open carrying Jimin inside, closing the door behind them.

 

After putting Jimin down, Jungkook sinks into the kiss as Jimin’s hands work their way under his jacket, sliding it off Jungkook’s shoulders, fingers dragging lightly over his skin. It drops to the floor as Jimin grips the front of his shirt and drags him forward, crashing against the dining table.

Jimin breaks the kiss as he lifts himself onto the table, hands sliding over Jungkook’s neck and his eyes hooded. He studies the man before him with his lips parted, like he wants to tear into him or yell at him some more, but he holds back.

Jungkook leans down to kiss Jimin again, hand cupping the smaller man’s cheek. He tries to slow himself down, keep the kiss a little softer at first, as much as he wants to rip through Jimin’s clothes and ravish him right there on the table where he sits.

It almost breaks him when Jimin lets out a content hum against his lips, his hands trailing under Jungkook’s shirt and dancing across the bare skin of his waist. Jungkook presses in, giving Jimin’s lower lip a light nibble as he nudges the other man’s legs apart.

Jimin legs spread wide to fit Jungkook between them, wrapping around to press against the backs of Jungkook’s thighs. His hands work Jungkook’s shirt up over his head, tossing it aside before he dives in to kiss the taller man again, as he explores the toned lines of Jungkook’s torso.

Jungkook can’t take it anymore. He can’t stand just kissing Jimin, taking it slow. He slips his hand between their bodies, palming Jimin’s cock through his jeans before he works open the button. Jimin lets out a small gasp as Jungkook’s hand plunges into his pants, slipping beneath his boxers. The moan that escapes Jimin at that simple touch has Jungkook aching, the tightness of his pants growing more uncomfortable every second.

As if reading his mind, Jimin reaches down, one hand undoing Jungkook’s pants while the other slides over his shoulder, fingers digging into his back as he drags him in closer. He slides his tongue along Jungkook’s lower lip, hand dipping past his boxers, thumb pressing against the slit of his cock as he takes hold of it.

Jungkook’s jaw drops open in a silent moan and Jimin takes the chance to slip his tongue inside the other man’s mouth, pressing against Jungkook’s tongue. Every movement he makes is slow, calculated, designed to keep Jungkook right on the edge, making him want more, _so fucking much more_ , but keeping the situation entirely under his control. If he could, Jungkook would lay Jimin out on this table right now and have him begging and moaning in seconds, but he turns to putty in Jimin’s hands, whining against his lips for more. _God, fuck,_ he just needs something else— he needs Jimin sprawled out beneath him, face pressed into the sheets, he needs to know what it feels like to be inside Jimin.

 

Jimin’s teeth graze over the flesh of Jungkook’s neck. He chuckles, sending vibrations through Jungkook and kicking his heart into overdrive. His lips travel up to the other man’s ear, nipping at the lobe, hot breath ghosting over him as he whispers. “Tell me what you want, Jungkook.”

 

The way Jimin says his name makes it damn near impossible for Jungkook to figure out how to answer. At this point he’s not even sure what he wants to do anymore. All that’s on his mind is what he wants Jimin to do to him.

 

Jimin’s hand stops stroking him, his teeth sink into his earlobe again and Jungkook just about loses it. He growls as he dives into the crook of Jimin’s neck again, devouring every inch of him as he regains control over his body. “Wanna push you onto this table,” he says between marking Jimin’s skin, “fuck you. Mark you up… so everyone knows… what I did to you tonight.”

 

Jimin’s head rolls back, a shameless groan of pleasure escaping him. “How would you fuck me?” The older man askes.

Jungkook leans forward, lips on Jimin’s throat, sending vibrations through him as he talks, voice low and husky with desire. “With you on top of me,” he says and, _oh fuck,_ that image is by far the best. His hands return to Jimin’s legs, sliding up to his ass. “These thighs pressing in on either side of me, your hands leaving scratches on my chest as you ride me.” A tremor runs through Jimin, and Jungkook can tell he won’t be able to resist much longer, won’t be able to keep up this teasing. “And I want you to look at me while you do it.” Jungkook sinks his teeth into Jimin’s neck, a little harder than before and Jimin tugs at his hair, gasping as he presses closer still. Jungkook’s in control now. “I want to see what you look like with me inside of you, watch you come.”

With that, Jimin grabs Jungkook by the shoulders, pushing him back just enough so he can hop off the table. His eyes clouded with lust, his lips parted in lewd gasps as he stares Jungkook down. Without a word, he drags Jungkook into another kiss, pulling him along as he makes his way through the apartment.

Once they make it to Jimin’s bedroom Jungkook is at his mercy once again, his mind a complete wreck as he tries to figure out where he should even put his hands. He settles for tangling them into Jimin’s hair as the other man kisses down his neck, then his chest. To Jungkook’s delight, Jimin sinks all the way down to his knees, fingers deftly tugging away Jungkook’s jeans and boxers, his cock springing to attention.

Staring up at him, Jimin takes hold of his length again, tongue darting out to give an experimental lick to the tip. Just that has Jungkook shuddering, his hands tugging at Jimin’s hair. He tries to control himself, to not pull too hard or jerk forward as Jimin takes the head of his cock into his mouth. Jimin isn’t holding him back, leaving it entirely up to Jungkook’s self-control not to choke him.

Jungkook’s head snaps back against the wall as he stares up at the ceiling, chest having. The things Jimin does with his tongue, the way he hollows his cheeks and takes Jungkook deep into his throat, the feeling as he hums out a little moan and sends a thrill up Jungkook’s spine.

He doesn’t know how long he can last like this, especially when he looks down and sees the way his cock slips past those pretty lips. He pushes Jimin’s hair back out of his eyes and almost loses it when the other man peers up at him.

Jungkook cups Jimin’s cheek again, coaxing him away since he can’t seem to make his voice work, and Jimin slips his mouth off Jungkook with an obscene pop. As Jimin’s hands travel up Jungkook’s sides, his swollen lips pressing kisses along the taller man’s abs and chest until he reaches his mouth again, Jungkook finds himself capable of thinking once more. Jimin looks up at Jungkook who doesn’t answer with words, instead grabbing the backs of Jimin’s thighs and lifting him up, wrapping those gorgeous legs around him, thick with muscle. He drops Jimin onto the bed and slides the man’s pants off, Jimin lifting his hips as he does.

As he tosses the jeans aside, he takes a moment to admire the scene in front of him—Jimin sprawled across the sheets, entirely exposed to his eyes only, his cock curving high and pretty, the lightest sheen of sweat beginning to form across his skin, already marked up by Jungkook’s mouth. Jimin crawls backwards across the bed as Jungkook follows, the older man reaches into his night stand, pulling out a bottle of lube and a condom, he tosses them both aside for now.

He leans forward, dragging Jungkook into another rough kiss. Jungkook can hear the cap on the lube pop open and Jimin’s hands leave him. Then it snaps shut. Jimin’s legs spread wide and Jungkook leans back to see what the other man is doing. Jungkook’s breath hitches as he watches Jimin tilt his head back against the pillow, two slicked fingers sliding into himself. His nose scrunches a little as he adjusts, stretching himself as Jungkook watches.

After a moment of gathering his thoughts, Jungkook meets Jimin’s eyes, his cock twitching as the other man grins at him, a third finger joining the other two. A moan slips from his lips and Jungkook leans forward pressing his lips against Jimin’s. Jungkook groans as he collides with Jimin again, attacking his neck. His lips reach Jimin’s ear and he practically growls, “ _Fuck,_ Jimin- I want you so bad.”

Without any hesitation, Jimin shoves Jungkook back, hand snatching up the condom as Jungkook sprawls out on the bed. He watches as Jimin tears the packet open with his teeth and spits the wrapper aside. Jimin moves to straddle his hips, fingers nimbly rolling the condom onto Jungkook’s cock and grabbing the lube again. He squeezes a generous amount onto his palm and wraps those agile fingers around him once more, slicking him up.

Jungkook props himself on his elbows to watch as Jimin scoots a little farther forward, positioning Jungkook’s length before lowering himself down. His free hand plants itself on Jungkook’s abs, nails digging in lightly as he takes the first inch, then pushes further. There’s barely any hesitation, his eyes closed, as he seats himself fully on Jungkook. He takes a few deep breaths, both hands on Jungkook’s stomach now, then begins to move. His hips roll down, slow at first, then faster as he adjusts. And Jungkook can’t bring himself to do much more than watch.

His fingers press into Jimin’s hips while Jimin’s drag over his chest, nails pressing in just enough to leave pale red lines over Jungkook’s skin. Jimin’s black hair sticks to his forehead and his eyes stay half closed as he looks down at Jungkook and, _goddamn,_ he looks unreal like this. The way he moves is unbelievable, finding the perfect rhythm to impale himself on Jungkook’s cock, bouncing on his lap, his thighs trembling with pleasure on either side of the man beneath him, and oh the sounds that slip from between those pink lips before his teeth clamp down on one to stop himself.

Jungkook keeps one hand on Jimin’s hip as he the other reaches up to cup his chin. Jimin’s eyes flutter open the rest of the way, Jungkook’s thumb brushing just beneath his lip as he pulls him down.

Jimin’s movements slow as Jungkook leans up, pressing a soft kiss to his swollen lips. “Don’t do that,” Jungkook hums against him, and Jimin groans as the hand on his hip slides around to grip his ass. “I like the way you sound. I wanna hear you scream my name when you come.”

Jimin moans when Jungkook lets him move again. He usually isn’t this loud, he likes to do things fast and hard, does what ever he can to get the other guy off quicker, so he can get the hell out of there. But it’s different with Jungkook, he just wants this to last, and sudden realization of that makes him dizzy.

He rides Jungkook’s cock, letting his moans tumble freely from his lips, Jungkook’s name on his tongue. His hips snap down, taking Jungkook deep and it makes the man beneath him arch off the bed, head pressed into the pillow and mouth open in a silent moan.

The youngers hands roam all over Jimin’s body, sliding over his thighs and along his abs. Jimin grins at that, a wicked, crooked smirk that sends a jolt of pleasure up Jungkook’s spine. The older man leans forward, hand curling behind Jungkook’s neck to pull him into a kiss, his pace quickening as he takes every inch of Jungkook’s dick. An animalistic growl escapes Jungkook as his tongue meets with Jimin’s. He pushes himself up with one hand on the bed and raises his hips to meet Jimin’s movements. _Fuck,_ he can barely control himself as he slams up into the other man a little harder than he meant too, but Jimin responds to it with another shameless moan.

With the next thrust, Jimin shudders, nails digging into the back of Jungkook’s neck as he breaks their kiss, his voice splitting the silence in the room. Desperate, shaking, he lowers himself onto Jungkook’s cock again, “Fuck, _fuck,_ Jungkook, _oh god—”_ He fails to say much more than that, his words melting into a mix of gasps and moans and more low utterings of Jungkook’s name but Jungkook knows exactly what it means.

Jungkook pushes himself upright, keeping Jimin secured on his lap, arm twisting around the other man to hold him close as he rolls his hips again. Jimin’s hands grasp at every part of Jungkook he can reach, looking for anything to anchor him in the real world as his senses overwhelm themselves with the feeling of Jungkook inside him, the way his hands press little bruises into his skin, the scent of him as he buries his face into his neck.

Just as Jungkook wished, Jimin sits himself upright again as he feels himself coming, eyes meeting with Jungkook’s so he can see everything—his pupils blown wide, the drop of sweat that slides along his temple, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows hard. His whole-body shines with sweat, his hair damp, and _goddamn_ he’s the most beautiful mess Jungkook has ever seen. He feels Jimin come across his chest, and the older man almost closes his eyes, but he keeps them locked with Jungkook’s. His lips part, hands shaking and chest heaving as he lets out one more whimper as he finishes.

Jungkook’s hips stutter, hesitant to continue, but Jimin places his hands on the younger’s chest, ignoring the streaks of white. “D-don’t stop,” he stammers out, “Don’t stop until you come, we should move- r-roll me over.” His thighs to tired to continue riding Jungkook.

Jungkook seems to understand because he flips them over with ease, Jimin’s legs stay wrapped around his waist, Jungkook practically groans seeing Jimin pinned to the bed below him. He moans, head lolling forward as he fucks Jimin to a point of overstimulation the older mans never reached before.

Suddenly Jungkook stops moving, “Are you clean?” he blurts out.

Jimin’s eyes are wide, and he looks frantic, “W-what?”

Jungkook shakes his head realizing how it sounds. “No! I meant- I’m clean… I want to-“ Jungkook stops, his eyes wide wondering if he completely ruined the mood.

Jimin seems to realize what Jungkook is trying to say, his eyes search Jungkook’s before he finds himself nodding, wondering if he’s really lost his mind. “T-take it off.”

And Jungkook nods, all too eager to strip that last layer between them away and toss it aside. He readjusts, pulling Jimin’s legs down around his waist and securing them before he thrusts into him once more, the slide of Jimin’s walls against his bare cock like heaven on earth and the whiny, desperate moans from Jimin as his cock finds itself growing hard again just fuels Jungkook’s desire even further.

Jimin bends nearly in half as Jungkook fucks him. Jungkook can feel himself getting close, heat coiling in his abdomen, legs trembling as he pounds Jimin into the mattress, his ears filled with the sound of the Jimin’s moans, dirty words tumbling from his lips, begging Jungkook not to stop.

He can feel the vibrations of Jimin’s moans against his lips as he kisses down his throat, sucking more bruises there until there’s so many no one in the world could miss them, then he leans back to admire his handiwork, staring down at the utterly wrecked Jimin beneath him, desperate to come for the second time tonight as Jungkook doesn’t let up his relentless rhythm.

Jungkook’s hips jerk and stutter as he watches Jimin spill across his own chest this time, back arching and eyes shut tight, screaming out Jungkook’s name, and that’s all it takes to push him over the edge. He finds his own release with one last snap of his hips, filling Jimin, watching the other man take in a long, shuddering breath as he stares up at Jungkook, watching him as Jungkook finishes inside of him.

They both stay like that, staring at each other as they try to catch their breath. Then Jimin’s hands find Jungkook’s shoulders and tug him down, attacking his lips with bruising kisses, teeth pulling at his lower lip, tongue plunging into his mouth. Jungkook falls into the kiss, letting the slide of their lips together calm his racing heart. Jimin’s fingers dig into his back, sliding over the quickly cooling sweat on his skin.

 

Jimin could tell it was still early when he first cracked open one eye lid. He was a little too warm, a little too comfortable, he could feel Jungkook's breath hitting the back of his neck in soft puffs of air.

 

Dread was the first thing he feels. He never should have let Jungkook come over last night, let alone have sex with him. Memories of the previous night make his ears turn pink, and he wants to hide under his pillow. _I'm such a fucking idiot,_ Jungkook was supposed to be flying back to Seoul in a few days. He was already dealing with all these feelings that have forcibly resurfaced. 

 

Jimin had to get out of here, he could feel the panic rising, tightening around his throat, clawing its way into his chest. He quickly, and quietly slips out of Jungkook's hold, throwing on some sweats and whatever t-shirt he finds first. Jimin knows he should shower, he most likely smells like sex and sweat but he can't risk waking Jungkook up. Consequences are not something Jimin handles well. He didn’t want to talk about what happened between them last night, he doesn’t want to talk about what it means, if it’s ever going to happen again because it’s fucking not. All Jimin wants is for Jungkook to go back to Korea, back to his amazing life and forget all about Jimin. He grabs an old receipt and scribbles a quick note on the back of it before leaving it on his pillow for Jungkook to find.

 

Two days, nearly two whole days and Jungkook hasn't heard from Jimin. He couldn't say he was completely surprised, but he couldn't deny it hurt a lot. His flight was leaving tomorrow afternoon and he had no way of contacting the older man. Jimin hadn't left a number on his note, just a quick _'I have work all day, don’t wait for me.'_ Some small part of him expected Jimin to turn up at his hotel, they had spent an amazing night together and Jimin didn't seem to give a shit, _big fucking surprise._

 

 _Fuck! He's still the same selfish, self-destructive prick he used to be._ Jungkook curses Jimin out a little in his head as he moves around his hotel room, haphazardly packing up his suitcase. How was Jungkook just supposed to go back to Seoul without any kind of closure. He had come here in the first place to move on, now he was just in deeper than before.

 

 _Ya know what! Fuck this._ Jungkook thinks to himself, and with a sudden wave of courage he grabs his jacket and heads outside.

After bravely navigating the train system by himself, Jungkook checks the Bar Jimin works at, hoping he'll find other man there. After asking a pretty waitress, she tells him Jimin went home already. He decides to walk to Jimin’s apartment, remembering the older man said he lived maybe 3 miles away. The younger uses a few landmarks he remembers to find the correct building. And after waiting nearly an hour outside, someone finally comes home so Jungkook is able to slip in after them, pretending that he forgot his key, or forgot to feed his cat, some shit like that.

 

Making his way up to Jimin’s apartment doesn’t take long, but he does stand in front of the door for several long, agonizing minutes before finally giving a quick knock, his cheeks pink from the cold December air.

 

Jungkook doesn't hear anything from inside. But after a minute he hears a soft 'What?' Through the door. Clearly Jimin had spotted him through the peephole.

 

“Open up.” Jungkook demands softly. He has so much he wants to say but now that he’s here, it’s hard to be angry at Jimin.

 

“No.” Jimin simply states.

 

Jungkook rolls his eyes before sighing, wondering if Jimin can still see him. “ _Please?"_

 

“Just go away Jungkook.” Comes Jimin’s curt reply.

 

“ _No._ ” Jungkook repeating Jimin’s same petty reply.

 

“I'll call the police.” Jimin's flat reply almost makes Jungkook snicker.

 

“We _both_ know you won't.” Jungkook says confidently.

 

“What do you _want?_ ” Jimin finally growls out.

 

"To talk?" The younger tentatively askes.

 

Jimin let's out an annoyed groan and Jungkook is pretty sure the thud he hears is Jimin’s head hitting the door. "Talk about what!?… We did talk, then we fucked. And it was a huge mistake-"

 

"Everything… I want to talk about _everything_ Jimin." Jimin stops talking. He doesn’t say anything for several long minutes. Finally, Jungkook speaks up when he hears Jimin sliding down the door to sit on the ground. So Jungkook does the same. “You're too damn stubborn... Well, guess what, so am I, I'm not going anywhere. When are you going to _realize_ that Jimin?”

 

Jungkook doesn't get a response from the older man. He wishes he knew what was going on in the other man’s head, but Jimin rarely shares. After nearly five minutes of silence he wonders if Jimin had walked away until he hears a heavy sigh from the other side of the door and his pulse quickens.

 

Jimin figures if anyone does deserve some form of an explanation it would be Jungkook. He put the younger through hell for years and Jungkook was always patient with him. Jungkook always took Jimin for who he was, never asked him to change even when Jimin started pushing everyone away. Except for the pills, that had been the final straw from Jungkook. Jimin pushes down the guilt that bubbles up when he thinks about how he left things with Jungkook and everyone else in Bangtan.

 

“My mother loved dance… She danced most of her childhood. But then when college came and her parents told her dancing wasn't a real job, that she wouldn't make any money, she chose nursing, and she loved that almost as much… so naturally when I showed interest in dance she was beyond excited, my father always thought it was stupid and worthless but he would never go against my mother... She was killed when I was eight years old.” Jimin pauses, and Jungkook isn’t sure if he is just thinking about what to say next or getting emotional. God, he wishes he could be in there with the older man, look at him, hold his hand. But if this is the way Jimin wants, no, _needs_ to talk then this is what the younger will do. 

 

“It was December, and it was snowing… it was my first dance recital so there was absolutely no way my mother was letting me miss that. Even though my Father didn’t want us going out. He got stuck at work, so he couldn't drive us... The roads were pretty bad when we were on our way home. We were stopped at a red light when a truck rear ended us, pushed the car into traffic and-” Jimin voice cracks this time and Jungkook’s heart aches. “I woke up in the hospital… without a fucking scratch… My father was so distraught, so broken down he couldn't even look at me...He couldn't fathom that I had survived, and she hadn't… He blamed me, he hated me. He started drinking more and more, and he had no one else to take his frustrations out on besides me, I guess." 

 

Jungkook squeezes his eyes shut as he listens to Jimin talk about his own father. About the bruises. How he would wear long sleeves and sweatshirts all year long to hide them. And no one noticed, the teachers at school didn’t pay him any mind because his grades were shit after his mother died and he got into fights too often with other students. He imagined a small, innocent Jimin, alone among adults that just _didn't_ care.

 

Jimin is silent for a long time. Jungkook can imagine how exhausting this must be. He imagines Jimin sitting on the other side of the door with his knees pulled up to chest, a habit of his he remembers well. Jungkook wishes he could hold him, tell Jimin that he's here for him.

 

Finally after a few more minutes Jungkook askes, “When did you meet… _Him?”_

 

On the other side of the door Jimin curls into himself. _Him,_ Jimin knows who the younger is asking about. He thinks back to when he left Seoul, he had refused to watch any of the news stories. He didn’t want to know; didn’t want to hear what they were saying about _him._ Daehyun had gotten a call from his mother, so Jimin said he could look at the news story if he wanted, but Jimin didn’t want to know anything about it. Even to this day he’s not sure what exactly Daehyun knows about Kim Jihoon and his abusive past, and Jimin doesn’t care. The other man has never treated him any different and they're closer now more than ever.

 

“Jimin?” Jungkook calls out.

 

“I-I heard you…” Jimin wets his lips nervously. He's 27 years old and he's never talked to anyone about this. But he’s over it right? It's been years.… it's just words. But who was he fucking kidding, those simple words and the feelings attached to them still haunted him. They crept into his thoughts at odd times, sometimes when he was too wired to fall asleep late at night, or when someone would get too touchy with him or stand too close. “I was ten when-…” Jimin opens his mouth again but nothing comes out. He pursues his lips, while he tries to calm his racing heart. 

 

Jimin starts again, "My father couldn't pay the bill's... he was afraid of losing the house because he thought it was the last piece of my mother he had left. All her clothes were still there, her jewelry. The way she decorated the living room, hand written notes and grocery lists still stuck to the fridge… He went to Kim Jihoon for help. And in return Jihoon wanted me…"

 

Jungkook tries not to let Jimin hear his sharp inhale. And he thinks back to a few weeks after Jimin had left. Depression had hit Jungkook hard, he could hardly drag himself out of bed in the morning, let alone anything else. Bang PD had wanted them to start working on their next comeback, do interviews to promote the new album. Jungkook couldn't go to the studio, he couldn’t go into the practice room and not think of Jimin. The older man had spent countless hours there, training and working on every move, every piece of choreography. And recording any new songs was not an option for Jungkook, their sound was completely off without Jimin. The whole dynamic of the group was off, was _ruined._

 

Jungkook could still remember vividly how he felt during that time. He remembers how distraught Jimin was before he left, how withdrawn he had been. He had been living in his own personal hell and Jungkook had pushed him away in the end.

 

Jungkook realizes Jimin has stopped talking so he asks, "you were ten?" Nothing, no answer from the older man. Jungkook can't help the spike of fear that creeps up into his chest. "Jimin?"

 

"Y-yes" Jimin finally whispers. 

 

Jungkook can still remember the news story about Kim Jihoon. He remembers the reporter had not gone into detail about Jimin’s sexual abuse, Jungkook figures that was because she didn’t have details. He remembered hearing Kim's former assistants’ story and that had his heart breaking enough, she wanted charges to be pressed, wanted others to come forward if there were any, but Kim Jihoon had just disappeared, and as far as Jungkook was aware people still didn’t know where he was. A lot of his businesses has been shut down, his pent house apartments left vacant. Jungkook wasn’t going to mention any of that to Jimin unless he asked though, the younger didn't want to burden him. 

 

Jungkook had taken it upon himself to research the many different types of sexual abuse. He learned about the healing and recovery processes, that sometimes it can take months, or years, that everyone is different. He learned that sexual abuse doesn’t just wound the body, it wounds your soul, breaks your spirit. But talking about it can sometimes help.

 

"Can I ask you something?" Jungkook asks after a moment.

 

"You want to know what he _did,_ right?" Jungkook is caught off guard by the bluntness of Jimin’s question. But the older man’s assumptions were correct. That was the question burning in the back of Jungkook’s mind.

 

"Yes" Jungkook replies softly. Jungkook isn't sure why he needs to know. It used to be enough to just know that Kim Jihoon had hurt Jimin to feed his anger. But there were so many unanswered questions that plagued his mind. But what Jungkook hears next shatters his heart to pieces.

 

“He raped me…" Jimin grits out before he pauses, releasing a shaky, ragged breath while Jungkook holds his. “I was ten when it started…. He would come over to the house on Friday nights while my Father played poker with some co-workers... come into my room when everyone was gone... My father kicked me out after a fight when I was fourteen... I didn't have any other family around. I had just gotten into Busan’s performing art school. I couldn't fuck up that opportunity. Dance was all I had. It was my only way out.” Jimin pauses for a moment. He’s starting to get emotional Jungkook can hear it in his voice.

 

“So, I did the only thing I could think to do. I asked if Jihoon would take me in… There were rules, I couldn't have anyone over. Had to be home every night. I couldn't lock my door. Ever… He had parties every weekend. They were weird and exclusive, the people who attended them were even stranger, all too wealthy for their own good… He would bring people up to my room…. M-make me have sex with them-" Jimin suddenly stops, a rush of emotion making his head swim.

 

He thought he would feel relieved after finally saying everything out loud, like a weight finally being lifted off his shoulders, years of holding everything in. But all he feels is panic, clawing its way up from the pit of his stomach, up his chest and tightening around his throat, as a sob finally escapes past his lips. He feels disgusted and sick, reliving memories of strangers touching him, holding him down. Of Kim Jihoon putting that blindfold back over his eyes after Jimin begged him to stop. 

 

Jungkook is standing up now, his body shaking as adrenaline pumps through him. He presses his forehead against the door while he listens to Jimin’s heart wrenching sobs. "Jiminie please... Please open the door. You don't have to deal with this alone. Please baby." He cringes a little when the pet name slips out, but he knocks on the door anyways. 

 

Jungkook doesn’t realize how loud he is banging on Jimin’s door until the neighbor across the hall starts yelling that she will call the police if Jungkook doesn't leave. Before Jungkook can properly tell her to 'fuck off,' Jimin's door finally opens, and Jungkook stumbles inside shutting the door behind him.

 

Jimin is a mess, his body is shaking so bad Jungkook wonders if he can even see straight. A light sheen of sweat covers his forehead making his hair damp, and cling to his forehead. 

 

Jungkook instinctually reaches for him. "Come here. I've got you." Jungkook says softly as he starts trying to wipe away the tears streaming down Jimin’s face.

 

Jimin’s eyes widen when Jungkook touches him. “No, you don't understand Jungkook!” He swats the youngers hands away from him. Jimin falters with what to say next, he groans in frustration before blurting out. “You don't get it… I was still- I was still sleeping with him after the tour. Before I left… When we started hooking up, and I never told you. That's why I couldn't let myself get too close to you then, we couldn't have _sex,_ I couldn't hurt you like that, I was _disgusting and dirty_.” Jimin wrings his hands together and licks his lips nervously.

 

Jungkook's blood runs cold as he stares at Jimin. His eyes darken with anger, not at Jimin, never at Jimin. He's angry because all this time Jimin has been blaming himself. And it all makes sense now, why Jimin was so disconnected all those years ago, why he pulled away every time things got too physical between the two of them, when Jungkook would push for more. Jungkook moves quickly, grabbing onto Jimin's hands and pulling the older man against his chest. Jungkook wraps his arms around him tightly.

 

“You were never _sleeping_ with that man Jimin. He _fucking raped_ you… Do you hear me? He got in your head, manipulated you, made you doubt yourself, made you think you were worthless... It was _never_ your fault.”

 

Jimin looks irritated as he shakes his head, pulling away from the younger. And Jungkook feels his chest ache because the look in Jimin's eyes is disbelief. Jungkook cups Jimin’s cheeks, forcing Jimin to look up at him. “It wasn't your fault.” The younger states softly.

 

“It wasn't your fault." Jungkook repeats again. Jimin tries to push him away again but Jungkook doesn't let go.

 

“It wasn't your fault.” Jungkook says one more time, watching as tears freely run down Jimin's face. “ _Jiminie_ " Jungkook whispers when he watches Jimin’s face scrunch up as if he's in physical pain.

 

Jimin's legs seem to give out because suddenly he's sinking to the floor, onto his knees. He muffles a scream with his hands and just cries, loud, broken sobs.

 

Jungkook follows Jimin, kneeling in front of the older man now. The younger reaches out pulling Jimin against his chest, wrapping an arm around his trembling shoulders while his other hand rests on the nape of Jimin’s neck, holding his close.

 

After a moment, Jimin slowly wraps his arms around Jungkook’s waist. With Jungkook's sweater clenched tightly in his fists he buries his face in Jungkook's neck and let's himself be held while he breaks down.

 

He cries for the loss of his family; both his parents now absent from his life. He cries for the ten-year-old boy that had his innocence ripped away from him. He cries for all the mistakes he made, for the people he hurt along the way. For not being strong enough to stand up for himself. He cries because there will always be a part of him that misses the life he had in Seoul. He cries because he broke Jungkook's heart all those years ago and he can never take that pain away.

 

Jungkook loses track of how long they sit on the floor wrapped in each other’s arms, hours maybe. But eventually Jimin's tears subside, his body still trembles from the aftershock. Jungkook gently rocks them back and forth while he rubs Jimin's back in slow lazy circles. He buries his nose in Jimin's hair, taking a deep breath and he wonders if the other man can feel how fast his heart is pounding in his chest. He knows he shouldn't, but he holds Jimin a little tighter, knowing his flight leaves tomorrow, and he hates how much he wants to stay. 

 

As it gets late Jimin let's Jungkook coax him up off the floor. They both know Jungkook isn't leaving tonight, so Jimin doesn't even bother asking him too. Jimin let's himself be led into the bathroom where he watches Jungkook start the shower. The younger looks over at him and smiles, “You'll feel better after a shower… I'll get you some clean clothes from your bedroom...mind if I borrow some clothes for bed?”

 

Jimin stares at Jungkook for a moment before nodding numbly. 

 

Jimin forces himself to relax in the shower, he lets the steam engulf him, lets the hot water massage his aching muscles. He was physically exhausted and mentally drained. He just wanted to fall asleep.

 

Once Jimin dries himself off he wraps the towel around his waist and opens the door and peeks into his bedroom. He's a little embarrassed by how long he took in the shower, he almost forgot Jungkook was waiting for him. He spots the younger man sitting on the bed absentmindedly scrolling through his phone. Jimin clears his throat as he walks up to the pile of folded clothes on the bed Jungkook must had picked out. Jungkook himself had managed to find some sweats and a baggy t-shirt that fit him. 

 

Jimin scoops up the clothes, hugging them to his chest when Jungkook finally looks up at him. He knows the younger has seen him without a shirt plenty of times, he's seen him completely fucking naked, but this was _different_ he couldn't help feeling like an idiot right now. “You really don't have to stay.” Jimin mumbles awkwardly.

 

Jungkook smiles up at him before standing up. “I know…but I am." Jimin takes in a shaky inhale when Jungkook gently cups his face, rubbing his thumbs softly across both his cheeks before he leans in and places a soft kiss against Jimin's lips. The kiss isn't overtly sexual, no ulterior motive behind it, just a small reminder that Jungkook doesn't plan on going anywhere right now. The younger pulls away before Jimin can even respond.

 

Jungkook seems to notice how uncomfortable Jimin is so he turns his back to him to give the other man some privacy. “Want me to leave the room?” Jungkook sincerely askes, and it makes Jimin’s chest ache.

 

“S’fine.” Is all Jimin mumbles back.

 

Jungkook keeps his back turned while Jimin puts on his boxers then his sweats, when Jimin says a soft ‘okay’ Jungkook glances up, catching a glimpse of Jimin in the mirror on top of his dresser, the older mans back is still turned to him and he reaches above his head to put his shirt on. Jungkook falters when he several long, thin white scars littered across his back.

 

Jungkook turns around wondering if his eyes were just playing tricks on him, but no, the scars were still there. Jungkook steps towards Jimin quickly before he finishes pulling his shirt down, “Jimin” he breathes out, “What are these?- I’ve never noticed before-“ Jungkook hand comes up and it hovers over Jimin’s back but he doesn’t touch him.

 

Jimin freezes, letting his shirt fall over his back before he turns and faces Jungkook, a small smile ghosting his lips, he pats Jungkook’s still outstretched hand. Jungkook looks confused and upset, and he was because he had seen Jimin shirtless many times in the years they had lived together, how had he not noticed those scars before.

 

Jimin shakes his head a little bit, “You wouldn’t have known… That happened the last time I saw him, before I went to the reporter, right before I left.” Jimin says quietly, trying not to look ashamed.

 

Jungkook walks around Jimin who goes to move but Jungkook places his hands on Jimin’s shoulders to keep him there. He slowly starts lifting Jimin’s shirt up, Jimin tenses, “Jungkook- what are you doing?”

 

“Just let me- Please?” Jungkook begs softly, his heart hurts. Jimin doesn’t protest him as he pulls the shirt over the shorter man’s head. Once Jimin’s shirt is discarded Jungkook looks at faded scars on his back, he reaches up slowly, running the tips of his fingers over the faded scars which sends a shiver down Jimin’s spine, his skin tingles as Jungkook’s fingers brush back up his back. Jimin’s hookups usually didn’t notice the scars, it was usually too dark, or they were too drunk, which was just easier. If someone did notice them it was always awkward, Jimin would dodge the questions, but it was painfully obvious that the scars were from someone who had hurt him, not from some freak accident. The younger places a soft kiss over one of the more prominent scars before he nudges Jimin towards his bed. “Let’s lay down.”

 

Jimin lays down wordlessly, he slips under the covers as the bed dips with Jungkook’s weight, he feels Jungkook slip his arms around his waist and pull him close. His eyes feel heavy and he lets them flutter shut when Jungkook places feather light kisses on the side of his neck. Feeling safe enough to fall asleep in someone's embrace is always something Jimin has lacked. Jimin didn't mind being close to the other members of BTS, him and Tae would lay all over each other while they watched a movie. He would sit on Hoseok and Jin's laps often because they were his Hyung’s. And he'd sometimes rest his head on Namjoon's shoulder if they were sitting next to each other because the older man always had a comforting presence.

 

But it was different with Jungkook, it had always been different with the younger. Jimin can still remember the first time Jungkook had crawled into his bed, they had been so young, only living in the dorm together for a few months. It had been late, and Jimin had been reading in bed, only his lamp on his nightstand was lit. The younger had been curled up on his own bed, sheets pulled up over his head while he tried to sleep. Eventually he got up and crawled into Jimin's bed with him. At first Jimin had thought Jungkook was sleep walking until he mumbled something about how he liked rooming with Jimin the most because they were both from Busan and that Jimin reminded him of home. Then he asked Jimin to read the book he was reading out loud in their Busan dialect because he missed his family. Jimin had kept his surprised reaction to himself and obliged the younger boy.

 

After that it became a routine, sometimes Jungkook wanted to lay in his own bed but he would always end up asking Jimin to lay next to him. Jimin found it amusing how different they acted around each other when they were alone in the privacy of their own room. In public and even around the other guys Jungkook was cold to Jimin in the early years. And Jimin enjoyed seeing how flustered and shy Jungkook got when he picked on him in front of the camera so Jimin couldn't resist. 

 

Jimin wasn't sure when everything changed for him, when feelings suddenly got involved, when he started seeking out Jungkook’s attention not just to be funny but because he liked it a little too much. Jungkook eventually changed too, he got a little older, a little wiser, more shameless and bolder. God, they had been so young back than it almost seems silly now.

 

So as Jungkook pulls Jimin closer to his chest and whispers a sleepy 'goodnight' the older man can't help but miss this. As Jimin falls into a restless sleep he tries to ignore the fluttering in his chest knowing Jungkook is leaving tomorrow.

 

Heathrow Airport was busy as usual, Jimin kept his promise and went with Jungkook to drop him off. Jungkook became more anxious the closer they got to departures, he knew he had to go back home at some point, but it felt too soon. Waking up with Jimin still in his arms had felt amazing this morning. He had to deal with Jimin teasing him when he asked for his number, and his face burned like he was a teenager again, but it was all worth it to see Jimin laugh at him. Jimin had even said Jungkook could give his number to Taehyung but he wanted to leave it up to Tae to contact him because he knows he didn’t really leave on good terms with anyone. Jungkook couldn’t wait to see the look on Taehyung’s face when he told him what he was really doing London.

 

They stop a little way from security, Jungkook takes a deep breath as he turns to face Jimin who has a passive expression on his face. Jungkook wants Jimin to tell him to stay. But the older doesn’t. Jungkook brings his hand up and rubs Jimin’s cheek, the older turns his head and Jungkook thinks for a second, he’s turning away from the touch but Jimin only places a soft kiss against his palm. 

 

Jimin brings his own hand up placing it over Jungkook’s and snuzzles into the touch for a brief second before removing the youngers hand entirely and looks away. "Goodbye Jungkook." Jimin seemed unfazed, but Jungkook really wanted to know what was going on in his head.

 

Jungkook takes a moment to memorize the man in front of him. black hair pushed back, away from his face, his sharp jaw line. The way he chews on the inside of his cheek when he’s filled with uncertainty. How the leather jacket hugs his shoulders, the slimness of his hips, and how perfect he fit against him. When Jungkook starts to remember how it felt to have Jimin’s strong thighs wrapped around him he has to look away. “Bye Jimin, I’ll uhm- I’ll text you when I land.”

 

When Jungkook turns around his eyes sting. And as he walks away, he finds it's hard to breathe. He thought this trip would give him the closure he was looking for. He thought maybe he would come here and see Jimin and feel nothing, boy was he wrong. All those same feelings resurfaced, but once again he told Jimin he loved him, and still after all these years Jimin couldn't say it back. And now his heart is breaking all over again as he leaves Jimin this time. Once he’s through security he turns around one last time, Jimin is still standing in the same spot watching him. Jungkook lifts his hand in a wave, catching Jimin’s nod of acknowledgment he finally turns back around and rounds the corner. 

 

Jungkook finds himself frozen, his legs refusing to move forward. The women standing in front of him is waiting for him to hand her his ticket. Jungkook turns around, holding his duffel bag he runs back down the hall, rounding the corner he runs past security, ignoring the strange looks he’s getting from people. He doesn’t even know what he’s going to say Jimin, but he knows he can't leave, not today, not when Jimin has finally opened up to him, he can't just leave. 

 

Jungkook comes to a halt, nearly tripping over his own feet when he sees Jimin sitting on a bench only a few feet from where they said goodbye. 

 

The older man is hunched over, his head in his own lap, literally bent in half, and he covers his face with his hands. His shoulders shaking with force of his silent sobs. 

 

Jungkook drops his bag, kneeling in front of Jimin he touches the top of his head. "Jiminie" he says softly.

 

Jimin jumps from the sudden touch, bringing his head up quickly he stares at the younger in front of him. He wipes at his red face, the tears still falling down his cheeks. Jungkook wraps his arms around Jimin’s waist as he stands back up, bringing Jimin with him. Jimin clings to him, arms wrapped around Jungkook’s neck he buries his face in the crook or his neck. "Kook" he sobs out.

 

Jungkook looks down at him. Placing his hands on his shoulders while Jimin starts rambling. "What are you doing Jungkook? Your flight is leaving… Stop wasting you fucking time on me, I’m not worth it. You deserve someone so much better. I can never take care of you the way you always take care of me, why do you even love me?...” Jimin makes another embarrassing noise as he tries to wipe his wet cheeks. “I hate it- I hate that I still think about you all the time, and I have so much fucking _regret_ because I still love you.”

 

Jungkook feels like all the air leaves his lungs at once, he stares at Jimin. “W-what did you say?”

 

“I love you.” Jimin says again, this time with a little more confidence.

 

Jungkook fucking grins, because that’s all he can do when his voice won’t work. Jimin looks confused before he starts again, “Your flight-“

 

Jungkook leans down capturing Jimin’s lips in a open-mouth kiss, the older man’s hands find their way to his hair as he tries to tug Jungkook closer, no longer caring about Jungkook’s flight.

 

Needless to say, Jungkook misses his flight, after making out in the middle of the Airport starts to become slightly embarrassing, they make their way back to Jungkook’s Hotel because it’s closer than Jimin’s apartment. Jungkook talks to the front desk and is able to get his room key back after he practically throws all his credit cards at the poor women when she tries to argue with him.

 

Once back in his hotel room Jungkook barely has time to drop his suitcase before Jimin pushes him onto the bed with a wicked grin. Jimin crawls onto the bed after Jungkook finding the youngers lips as he straddles him. 

 

They make love, it’s slow and gentle, not rushed and controlled by pent up emotions like the previous night. And after they share a shower that ends up taking longer than usual, they lounge on the bed. 

 

Jungkook sitting with his back against the headboard as he scans a few emails on his laptop. Jimin laying on his stomach looking through the menu for room service, it was a little after 9pm and Jungkook had mentioned he was hungry and told Jimin to pick whatever he wanted, so with a mischievous smirk Jimin browses through all the dinner options.

 

Jungkook’s phone buzzes for maybe the 10th time. He turns the volume off and tosses it onto his nightstand with a smile. Only after getting Jimin’s permission Jungkook had sent a picture that he had taken of the two of them to the rest of BTS in a group text, with only a quick text following of ‘I’ll explain later’. His phone hasn’t stopped blowing up since, even though it was only around 6am in Seoul.

 

Jungkook glances up from his laptop, “How soon would you be able to get time off from work?” He askes the shorter man who is reaching for the hotel phone on the nightstand.

 

Jimin hums, “Maybe in two weeks… Why?” Jimin eyes him.

 

“Just asking.” Jungkook smiles and pulls up the other tab he was looking at on his laptop, Flights. He wanted to take Jimin some where tropical, maybe Saipan, he’d figure that out later. He just couldn’t wait to spoil him, even though he knows Jimin will fight him on that.

 

He looks over at Jimin again who is placing their order for room service, and yes, it’s something mundane, but Jungkook smiles like an idiot anyways. He knows he will have to go back to Seoul at some point, figure everything out. But right now, he isn’t going anywhere. There is no way he is letting this beautiful man next to him out of his sight for a long time. Jungkook knows they still have a lot to work on, still have a lot of things to discuss, but they could figure that all out at their own pace. 

 

Jimin still had a lot to work on himself, Jungkook knows there’s going to be good days and bad days, he’s ready for that. He wasn’t planning on letting Jimin go ever again, he had found him, and Jimin loves him. And there was so much lost time to make up for, this was _their_ time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again!  
> I love these characters, they have such a special place in my heart!  
> I'm sorry if you're upset about the time jump, I felt it was needed for the type of character development I was looking for.  
> And I didn't have too much of the rest of Bangtan in this chapter because it is ultimately Jimin and Jungkook's story.
> 
> -CL 
> 
> Tumblr - CLBurr03


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